This is not about guilt or innocence. It’s a job application. We’re allowed to take into consideration references from people who knew you in the past.

The fact that Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh may have attempted to rape someone when he was younger is indeed relevant.

Yes, people can change. But this is the friggin’ Supreme Court. Let’s have higher standards! It’s not like there aren’t thousands of other highly qualified judges and lawyers out there  that have very clean backgrounds.

But the GOP apologists are bending over backwards to try to slander the victim, while presenting the most ludicrous conspiracy theories to explain away the facts.

cartoon by Darrin Bell

Apparently, according to the GOP, the victim in this matter knew years ago that Kavanaugh was going to be nominated 35 years into the future, so she made a record by telling other people, going into therapy for it, and notifying her friends. Then, clever woman she is, she defeated a lie detector test and demanded an FBI investigation, promising to cooperate fully with the police. Because, of course, that’s what all people who bring false claims (and have their lives ruined because of it) do. (No, wait, I remember now: She doesn’t fit the profile of a false accuser at all.)

Anyway, back to the conspiracy: Kavanuagh, being completely innocent, then got 65 women to claim he had never raped them and had that letter sitting around waiting for a false allegation to be filed against him so he could produce the record instantly. (Come on guys, who doesn’t have that kind of letter on their desk just waiting for the right moment?) I’m going to use this in my next trial: “I know my client is accused of robbing the victim, but I have here a list of 65 people he didn’t rob!”  “Impeccable logic, counselor. Not guilty.”

Kavanaugh’s buddy had written a book about how he and Kavanaugh would get so drunk in High School that they would black out and forget everything. So it is certainly possible that Kavanaugh could just not remember this. (Notice how I didn’t mention that they belonged to a frat that regularly debased women, and who would chant “No means yes, yes means anal” and who eventually had to be removed from campus because of their Animal-House antics.  Oops, I guess I did mention that after all.)

The GOP, seeing that the majority of the population is against this appointment, and realizing their conspiracy theories weren’t being bought, has now turned to even more outlandish defenses, such as “boys will be boys“, “hey, it was a long time ago” and “maybe she’s confused and it’s actually someone else who looks like him.” My favorite is the one where Kavanugh denies having been at that party when the victim has never once said exactly when and where the party was.

If only Kavanaugh was an immigrant. Then the GOP would gladly demand a vetting process! But no, let’s not kid ourselves. This is a party that nominated and supported someone for President who bragged about sexual assault. Why, being a sexual assaulter is practically a requirement for power in that party.

The GOP may lose the Senate as well as the House in the next election if they continue to support Kavanaugh, but they don’t care, because they know having Kavanaugh on the Supreme Court will push their agenda for many years to come.