I’m officially old

Today’s my 65th trip around the sun. I look in the mirror and see a guy with bags under his eyes, gray in his beard, and wispy hair barely covering a balding head. That’s a scary thought, especially when I consider where I thought I’d be at this point in my life. I thought I’d be rich and famous by now.

Anyway, if you’ll forgive me, I’m going to do some reminiscing about the choices I’ve made that have led me where I am today. (Some of this repeats a post I did on my 60th birthday.)

There are paths I chose in my life that, in retrospect, I wish I had not. But when I reflect on what I have accomplished, I’m fairly proud. This is the kind of retrospection everyone should do, and if you’re not pleased with what you find, to remember that it is never too late to make a change. You only have one life, after all. This isn’t a computer game where you can start over and create a new character.

So let’s start with this: Try not to have big regrets.

Act on your dreams. No one was ever on their death bed saying, “I’m so glad I never tried to accomplish that dream of mine!”

I’ve done a lot of different things in my life. I’ve been successful at some, and not so much at others.

Part of my problem was that I am interested in so many things, and I wanted to do them all. Had I concentrated on one thing, maybe I might have been really successful at it. For instance, maybe if I had put 100% of my effort into making it with my band, that would be my job today, and I’d be very happy.

But I’ve always been a realist. I know that having talent or a skill by itself is no guarantee of success. There are many tremendously talented actors, writers, and artists out there who are waiting tables and doing menial jobs while less talented ones earn millions. Life doesn’t always reward the ones who deserve it.

So I went to law school as a back-up plan. People always need lawyers and, honestly, I like being a lawyer. It’s not like I have a job I hate. (Although I wish I could afford to retire from it, so I could spend more time writing and doing other creative things.)

Anyway, back to the choices I made as I was growing up. The point I am trying to make is that I tried everything. I always at least attempted to do the things I wanted to do, even if I didn’t pursue them to their extreme.

When I was 7 or 8, I decided I wanted to be an actor. So my mom took me to community theater, and I passed auditions and was in a number of plays. (I continued on through High School.)

Then I wanted to be a cartoonist. I ended up drawing comics for my school newspapers all the way through law school.

I thought it would be great to be in a band, so I taught myself guitar, bass and piano. I played in many bands and still do from time to time.

In High School, I decided to start an “underground” newspaper. It became quite popular, although it was more like Mad Magazine than a real newspaper. (I continued to write for the college and law school papers and later did a column for the Allston-Brighton Item, a real newspaper in Boston.)

Then I said, “I should write a musical comedy.” I did, and the High School drama coach liked it. The school put it on. It was held over an extra week and got good reviews from the local paper. The High School gave me the “most humorous” award my senior year.

In college, I decided to run for the student government and received the highest number of votes of any candidate, and was later awarded the college’s Student Service Award in my senior year. I also became the college radio station’s Program Director.

Then I decided to go to law school, mostly because I was interested in politics. I became involved with the Massachusetts chapter of Americans for Democratic Action and ended up as their President for a year. I also worked as a lobbyist, and was campaign manager for a state representative for a summer.

While in law school, I married my high school sweetheart Heidi Hooper. That was the best decision I ever made. (Heidi, like me, never gives up and is always trying to improve herself, and she’s now the world’s most famous dryer lint artist. Check out the link and see!)

After law school, I said, “There should be a magazine for animated films,” and started Animato!, which later grew into a real magazine carried in book stores everywhere.

Then I joined up with some friends and began one of the first live-action fantasy medieval role-playing games in America. I later broke away and started the Alliance LARP, which now has been running for more than 30 years. I had chapters all over the United States and Canada, and the Discovery channel even did a documentary about us. (Yes, you can watch it on YouTube and yes, that’s me and my Heidi being interviewed.) We even had a booth at the New York Renaissance Faire for many years, which we sold when Heidi’s medical condition prevented her from working. (I sold the rights to the game a few years ago, and it is still running.) In some ways, this was my biggest success, and seeing how many friends I made because of this (and seeing how many people made new friends and even got married because they met at my game) makes me very proud.

About fifteen or so years ago, I decided I wanted to write fiction, and I have so far published five novels and a bunch of short stories (no, they’re not self-published) as well as edited about a dozen anthologies, featuring NY Times bestselling authors. A few were even made into audio books with professional actors reading the stories. Later, I wrote a few nonfiction books about The Beatles, The Monkees, and the U.S. Constitution.

I then started the Pocono Liars Club, a group of local writers who sponsor workshops and seminars.

Now, were all of these things I did successful? Absolutely not, if your definition of success is that I could make a living at them. I tried to make a living at the LARP but instead ended up living in poverty for a few years. My books are not best-sellers. My bands may have played all the big clubs but we never got a record deal. I gave up on the cartooning and never pursued the acting.

I’ve had regrets about life, just like everyone. But they are rarely of the “I wish I had tried that” variety.

And that’s today’s lesson: Take control and make things happen in your life. There is no “Life Fairy” who will come along, point a magic wand, and make all your dreams come true. Sitting around and watching TV won’t get you anywhere. Get off your butt and do something. Make something of your life. Create something and don’t just consume things other people create.

Make sure that when you’re on your death bed, you have no big regrets.