Highlights from the 3rd Day of the Republican Convention

Get out the popcorn. This just keeps getting better. Let’s look at the third day of the GOP Hatefest. I swear, if I were writing a satire of the extremism of the party, it would be less ridiculous than this.

Republicans spent much of their time seriously debating Hillary Clinton, with the two options being “Should we jail her, or just kill her?” ingraham21n-1-web

Apologists for Melania Trump’s stolen speech continued to ignore the obvious theft, with one Brony even arguing with a straight face that since a character on My Little Pony has said similar things, then clearly there was nothing wrong with plagiarism.  But hey, you have to admit that Melania’s speech certainly made her sound like a First Lady — That First Lady being  Michelle Obama.

Trump, whose catch-phrase is “You’re fired,” did not fire Meredith McIver, the woman who wrote Melania’s speech. What is interesting though is that the writer works for Trump in his business, meaning that it is illegal for him to be paying her with his business’ money to to work for the campaign. But is anyone surprised at that? What makes this story even better is that some media outlets are claiming that Meredith McIver is not a real person but another alias Trump uses, like “John Miller.”

Ted Cruz got most of the attention last night when he spoke and refused to endorse Trump, telling people instead to “vote their conscience.” Who would have thought that the tons of insults Trump threw at Cruz during the primaries would cause Cruz to think that maybe this guy wasn’t fit to be President?

Apparently Ted, unlike Chris Christie, survived the primary season with his balls intact. Christie, meanwhile, is having a fit over the fact that he wasn’t picked for Vice President. (Insert Nelson laugh)

But my favorite part of the convention was when right-wing nutcase Laura Ingraham ended her speech with the nazi salute. Seriously, this actually happened.  “Have you seen my friend Kyle? He’s about this tall. We need to seek Kyle. Seek Kyle!  Seek Kyle!”

 

Highlights from the 2nd Day of the Republican Convention

Highlights from day two of the Republican convention:

Republicans one by one helped keep the Melania plagiarism scandal afloat by insisting that it never happened instead of taking responsibility and moving on. That’s the current Republican way of dealing with things, of course — deny facts over and over again and hope people don’t notice. The press certainly did, with Chuck Todd being amazed at how incompetent the Trump campaign was at handling this.trump

The band Third Eye Blind trolled the GOP by accepting an invitation to play at some party and then refusing to play any of their hits — except the one about the gay kid who commits suicide because he’s bullied. They then ended their set with a plea for acceptance which, of course, was met with boos from the bigots in the audience. When one fan there tweeted that she had never been so disappointed, the band tweeted back “Good.”

The Republican platform is being celebrated, and it includes a passage that calls for the reversal of environmental standards, and calls coal a “clean” energy. Coming soon from the GOP:  War is peace, freedom is slavery, and ignorance is strength.

At the actual convention, speakers spent most of their time trying to paint Hillary as the most evil person in the world because, hey, the alternative would be trying to come up with something nice to say about Trump.

Chris Christie claimed that Hillary helped Boko Haram kidnap girls because you know, anything that happens in other parts of the world while a Democrat is President is entirely their fault, as opposed to say when the largest attack in history to happen on American soil occurs in the middle of New York City — that’s totally not the fault of Republicans in charge.

Trump’s top adviser for veteran’s affairs called for Hillary Clinton to be executed for treason, and of course, the GOP cheered him on.

The RNC co-chair got up and called President Bill Clinton a rapist. Yeah, good, set the standard for class, people.

Donald Trump Jr. then rattled off a bunch of lies which everyone cheered, the strangest of which was that Hillary Clinton wanted to get rid of medicare. The Washington Post fact-checker politely reported that this “appears to have no factual basis” — which is a nice way of saying “liar, liar, pants on fire.”

Seriously, which party has spent 50 years trying to get rid of medicare?  Let’s see, was it the Greens?  No… I’m sure it will come to me.

 

 

 

GOP Convention Embarassments

Political conventions are inevitably boring, because the campaigns turn them into a four-night free commercial for their candidates. They’re meant to show unity in the party and to brag about accomplishments and make promises for the future. TRUMP_CONVENTION_LOGOEverything is safe, planned, and approved, and nobody wants any surprises.

Surprise!

The rules are once again being rewritten as we see the further destruction of the Republican party at the hands of the egomanic Trump monster.

My wife and I watched a little and came up with a great new drinking game: Spot the non-white delegate! Every once in a while, we thought we found one but it always turned out to just be a reporter. We remained sober all night.

Anyway, let’s summarize the first night:

Before it began, the Cleveland police asked that open carry not be allowed in the area even though Ohio law permits it. This makes absolute sense but of course would expose the Republicans as complete hypocrites. As it was, the law is still there and people are walking around outside of the convention guns in hand — while the police nervously stand by. We’ll see if it remains peaceful but it’s generally not the image you want for your convention.

Then the convention opens and absolutely none of the previous Republican Presidents are in attendance, nor are a huge percentage of Republican Senators and representatives.

It starts with a huge floor fight where some of the states walked out in protest while trying to keep Trump from being nominated. Yeah, that looks good on television. Unity!

Republican Steve King — the guy from Ohio who has a Confederate flag on his desk — then talked about how all civilization is thanks to white people.  I am not making this up.

Some old TV star gets up on stage after calling Hillary Clinton a “cunt” and another one explains how Obama is a Muslim. Hey, come on, don’t criticize them for being TV stars. They’re just as qualified to be President as the Republican nominee.

Trump walks out surrounded by dry ice smoke, like he’s a professional wrestler about to enter the ring, and to the tune of “We Are the Champions” —  a song by a gay man that the party would like to remove all rights from.

Then Trump’s wife gives a speech that copies almost word-for-word the speech Michelle Obama gave eight years previously, and that’s what makes the news.

Republicans are thrilled. Better to have that as the headline than all of the terrible things that preceded it.  Maybe that was the plan all along?

Nah. That implies Trump has a plan.