First drafts: Band names

I saw this on Facebook recently:


I suggested a few possibilities and asked people to name their own and had hundreds of replies.  Some of these did not exactly follow the concept, and instead just used synonyms or otherwise changed a band’s name to make it funnier.

So let’s rebrand this. Instead, let’s call it “Band names: First drafts.” Here are my favorite suggestions in no particular order (except my entries first because it’s my blog):

Michael A. Ventrella:

  • They Probably Aren’t Giants
  • Slight Disturbance at the Disco
  • Completely Clothed Ladies
  • Foo Negotiators
  • Frank Zappa and the Brothers-in-Law of Invention
  • The Wilburys Who Stay at Home
  • Brunettey
  • Prince and the Peaceful Protest
  • QQ Top
  • Affirmative
  • The Foreplay Pistols
  • Derek and the Mahjong Tiles
  • Diana Ross and the Appellate Judges
  • Aerojones
  • Run-DMV
  • Battery-Operated Light Orchestra
  • Huey Lewis and the Fake News
  • Doubt
  • Adams Airplane

Terri Lynn Coop:

  • Bruce Springsteen and Some Band From Down the Street
  • KC and the Clear with a High of 74 Band
  • Trans-Sheybogen Orchestra

Mary Bacon:

  • The Grateful Only-Mostly-Dead

Gerald Blackwell:

  • The Stop-Stops

David Gerrold:

  • Bear-Naked Laddies
  • Crimson Thing

Steve Vaughan:

  • The Happy Blues
  • Mitch Ryder and the Detroit Flats
  • Sort of Whitish-Red Floyd

Lauretta Nagel:

  • Earth, Wind and Mudslide
  • Puce Floyd
  • Creedence Dishwater Revival

Beth Waggoner Patterson:

  • Yeah
  • Nuns With Attitude
  • Thing Crimson
  • Herman’s Introverts

Douglas Waltman:

  • Disappointment with the Machine

James Ryan:

  • Frankie Goes to Atwater Village

Mickey Blake:

  • Tears for Mild Anxieties
  • Prime Ministers of Canada

Farber Burny:

  • 10,000 Mildly Disturbed People
  • Normal Al Yankovich

Drew Bittner: 

  • AC/District of Columbia
  • Super Girl-With-an-Undeserved-Bad-Reputation

Billy Flynn:

  • Judas Altar Boy
  • Wimpy Wimpy Employeetones

Jay Pennington:

  • Tom Petty and the Let Them Down Easys
  • Molly Pocketknife
  • Led Balloon
  • Gladys Knight and the Peeps
  • Black Shabbat
  • Guns N’ Noses
  • Deep Beige
  • Pearl Jelly
  • Blue Cläm Cult
  • Spin Internists

Ken Warren:

  • The Mall Cops

Randy Eberle:

  • Aluminum Maiden

Ryk Spoor:

  • Snoop Puppy
  • The Ensign and Tenille

Savannah Luther:

  • Three Inch Nails
  • Florence and the Lever

John Herring:

  • One Dog Night
  • Thirty-cent
  • Wu-Tang Relatives
  • The Whom

Sharon Lyn Terrill:

  • Start a Letter Writing Campaign to the Machine
  • Jane’s 3AM Trip to Denny’s

Mark Davis:

  • Resident Dre
  • Slightly Disheveled Crue

Kevin Gould:

  • The Guess What

David Edward Martin: 

  • Evanston

Steven Morgenlender:

  • The Aunts and Uncles

Chris Meadows:

  • Hurry
  • Indignant Girls

Raymond Lawson:

  • Spice Rack Girls

Lee Hester:

  • The Credible String Band
  • LEM (Lazy Eye Movement)

Charles Rowe:

  • Jefferson Paper Plane

Michael Engler:

  • Me3
  • Broccolirama

Jason Harris Vichinsky:

  • Slingshots and Roses

Manny Borges: 

  • Sedan Halen
  • Alice in Jeans

Rich Weiss:

  • Old Farts on the Block

I’ll be doing other “first draft” challenges on Facebook to later post here; I think this could be fun. Suggestions are welcome.

Talk about a shit-hole country

The reason I don’t want to limit emigration from shit-hole countries is because we are rapidly becoming one.

I’m shocked that anyone is shocked that Donald Trump called Haiti and other countries “shitholes.” The man has used language like this before, he’s said racist things before, he’s bragged about his sexual assaults, he’s called nazis good people — really, where have you all been?45BAA924-63E8-4338-B0CC-E49C5F70B52C

But seriously, the cursing isn’t the issue. Fox News is trying once again to distract us from what is really being said by claiming that we’re all upset that the president cursed.

No, that’s not it.

“Shit-hole country” really means “I don’t want those black people coming here” and you know it.

It’s like when he talked about grabbing pussies and Fox news said “Oh, you’re all upset that he used the word ‘pussy.'” No, the bad word in that sentence is “grab.” 

Let’s not get distracted by the words, and instead look at what the shithead really is saying.

It’s okay to discriminate against assholes

One of the Sad Puppies — a group of butthurt snowflake selfish white male Trumpites who whine about things like the 1% of female leads in science fiction movies — has been barred from attending a major science fiction convention after he planned to take disruptive action at the convention, having done similar things in the past.


This is literally the Sad Puppies logo. They’re apparently sad because people get mad at them for being assholes to everyone else.

So of course, he’s claiming he’s being “discriminated against” because of his political views. These Sad Puppies, along with all the other whiny white males, KKK members, nazis, religious fundamentalists and Trump supporters, consistently complain that they’re being discriminated against because they’re no longer allowed to discriminate against others like they’ve always done.

Look, genius: A private organization has the right to deny entry to anyone they think will disrupt their group, including for political disruptions.

You have every right to hold whatever terrible political viewpoints you want. That is guaranteed to you under the Constitution. You don’t have the right to demand that anyone else provide you with a place or a forum for you to express those opinions, nor do you have the right to demand that someone let you into their group when they believe you don’t meet their standards. No shirt no shoes no service.

Discrimination is when you are being prevented from entering because of things you have no control over, such as your race or gender or place of origin. If you choose to be the kind of guy people can’t stand to be around and they say they don’t want you near them, that’s not discrimination. You chose to be that person.

As Frank Zappa said, “It’s okay to discriminate against assholes, because nobody was born an asshole.”

It’s always amazing to me how these people who always scream about how the “market” can solve all our problems whine and scream like babies when the market decides to do just that against them.

Edit:  Friend of the Blog Jim C. Hines explains this particular person’s history in more detail on his blog