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And now, the Democrat’s circular firing squad

Yes, we’re all thrilled by the election results. But many Democrats are misreading the reason for it.

Most people voted against the Republicans, not for the Democrats. The voters didn’t suddenly got enlightened and embrace liberal policies. They were mad about gas prices, and the Iran War, tariffs, corruption, the Epstein files, and Trump tearing down the East Wing…

Thinking this was a sudden acceptance of all the stuff we want isn’t supported by the facts. We didn’t win because everyone turned liberal all of a sudden. The Democratic Socialists running may have won their races, but almost each one did worse than Harris did two years ago. They were in blue districts and should have won handily. This blue wave was not a “liberal socialist” wave.

So while we should take advantage of this to try to get our agenda passed, we need to be united and reasonable. We need to play politics — and a problem many Democrats have is similar to the problem many conservatives have: They don’t understand how politics works.

cartoon by Peter Steiner

Democrats have immediately filled the internet with demands that Schumer and Jeffries be replaced. It’s only been a few days and already we’re fighting with each other. That is not going to help us accomplish anything. We need to be united.

Do I wish Schumer would be replaced? You bet. I don’t have any problems with Jeffries though — I mean, he’s never been Speaker, give him a chance.

But this infighting is not going to help. Let the House and Senate pick their own leaders without making it a public fight that will only hurt our need for unity right now.

Yeah, we want Trump held accountable. But if the socialist left (which includes ME) spends its time attacking the majority of the party instead of working with them to accomplish our goals, we’re not going to get much done.

You know, that’s how politics has worked since the beginning of time.

I’m not saying give up our goals; I’m not saying compromise on ethics. I’m saying shooting our leaders for not being 100% aligned with what we want is not a winning strategy in politics.

And understand this: Being a leader is not the same thing as having the right positions on the issues. Just because we agree with a politician doesn’t mean they have the skill to bring the party together to get stuff done. I may agree with Bernie Sanders on most issues, but I think he’d be a terrible leader for the party, because he won’t be able to get stuff done.

Pelosi, for instance, was a great Speaker — I didn’t agree with all her policies but she got stuff done.

And that’s what we need. The people in Congress work with each other every day. They know who can get stuff done, and that’s why they vote for who they want as their Speaker.

Let them do their job.

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Good show

Clay Bennett
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It’s Election Day!

Been too depressed to post things for a while, but I’m hopeful the results from today’s election will meet the predictions of a blue wave.

In any event, remember that sometimes it takes a while to count all the votes, so we may not have all the results tonight. Republicans will tell you that’s a sign of voter fraud, but only in places where they are losing. Ignore their lies, as usual.

And if you haven’t voted yet, do so! If you waste your vote on a 3rd party candidate or don’t vote at all, you will be making the Republicans very happy.

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The Current Court

Clay Bennett

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What to do if you get a traffic ticket

A bit of legal advice: If you get a traffic ticket, call a local attorney before you decide to just “pay it and get it over with.”

I get calls a lot from people saying “I just found out that my license is being taken away because of this” or “I lost my job as a driver because of this” and too often, by the time they realize it, the deadline for appealing the ticket has long passed.

The cops and the judge have no duty to inform you of what pleading guilty may do to your license, so call a lawyer.

This applies to all tickets, actually. Always plead not guilty and ask for a hearing. Even if you don’t hire a lawyer to help you, it’s not going to get worse and maybe the cop will be willing to give you a better deal once you show up in court. (Or maybe you’ll be really lucky and the cop won’t show up.)

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Immigrants are destroying America

Mike Luckovich

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A fantasy election (that is still technically possible)

In special elections over the last year or so, Democrats have done about 5% better than the polls suggested.

So I looked at the current Senate polls and made this map. If that happens in November (and no guarantee of that), here’s what the results would be.

Now this is tremendously unlikely, of course, especially since the GOP is doing everything it possibly can to cheat and steal the election, but it’s certainly a nice fantasy. None of the senate prediction pages suggest anything like this. It only has a chance if we all come out and vote in gigantically huge amounts. After all, there are more of us than them, and we prove that whenever we actually show up and vote.

I am posting this also to point out that states that everyone assumes is always red are really not that red — a switch of just a few percentage points and it can go the other way.

Here’s the map assuming Dems do 5% better than the current polls. Light colors means less than 5% lead, medium are 10% and more than that are dark.

Once more, a disclaimer: This is not a prediction. It’s tremendously unlikely to happen. It’s mostly here to say “Look, if we all come out and vote, this is a possibility.”

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Tackled

Clay Bennett

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How to grow a cow

And now for something completely different.

Years ago, my wife Heidi Hooper (the famous dryer lint artist) had a booth at the New York Renaissance Faire where she made armor. (Her Masters’ is in metalsmithing). She also made leather armor, and when you poked the holes for laces, we’d end up with lots of little, round pieces of leather.

So we decided to package them in small bags and sell them as “cow seeds” for a dollar. I wrote up the “instructions” for it, and made it full of terrible puns. We posted it and said if anyone could read it out loud without smiling or laughing, they’d get a free packet. It was a good way to attract attention to the booth.

My beautiful wife working at the Ren Faire around 2003 or so

Anyway, I recently found what I had written and want to share it with you now. Try reading it out loud and see if you can keep a straight face.

How To Grow a Cow

Take your cow seeds and find a suitable spot. Cows prefer pastures so attempt to plant there; which shall also have the added benefit of making the cow’s milk already pasturized.

In the ground, exactly three and one quarter inches from the surface, plant your cow seeds. Sprinkle upon said planted seeds exactly one thimble of cow’s milk, heated to exactly 84 degrees. Every day at the exact same hour, hoof it to the site and sprinkle the same. Keep your eyes open for nasty weeds, as a milkweed is unwanted.

Soon you will see the proper plant emerging; indeed, it is a bo-vine! In order for the vine to grow and climb, plant next to it a steak. You will certainly be mooved by the experience. If it takes a long time to sprout, remember: leather late than never.

When the bovine is up to your calf, steer your sights towards pruning the udderly unnecessary limbs. Four is the perfect number. Be forewarned: if you cut all limbs, you will have ground beef; and if some are cut uneven, you will have lean beef.

If you aren’t careful, a tail may be removed by mistake; however, these can be replaced at any retail store.

If you heifer forget to milk your plant, it would be a cowtastrophe. If that is the case, hide. And blow a horn. It may be a wise idea to hire a lad to care of your plant (a “cowboy” as it were).

If all is successful, a fine young cow will be there for you! Soon all of your friends will be calling you a “cow chip off the old block.”

Planting more seeds will produce like results and soon you will be in the War of the Roses! (No, wait, the War of the Roses was a crown battle, and the seeds will give you brown cattle.)

Be sure to educate your cow well or it will produce milk of amnesia. Do not make her nervous, or she will have milk shakes. Do not pamper her, or you will receive spoiled milk.

Is it easy to milk a cow? Sure, any little jerk can do it; however, any little jerk must be careful or the results will be beyond the pail.

WARNING: If these instructions are not performed exactly, your cow seeds may never sprout and you will be left udderly cowless.

We guarantee that this is no bull.

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