GOP election plan

The mask is only about “freedom” if you’re a selfish bastard

After pointing out how Montana Governor Greg Gianforte got covid after telling everyone in his state they don’t have to wear a mask, the anti-maskers suddenly realized how stupid and selfish they had been and have begun wearing their masks everywhere for everyone’s benefit.

I’m kidding, of course.

They buckled down, screamed about freedom, and looked like the selfish bastards they are.

“But I know people who wore masks and still got it!” some reply.

Well, sure. Nothing is 100%. Sometimes a seat belt doesn’t save you. Not every parachute always works. There are risks in everything.

But mostly, this ignores the main point: It’s not always about you.

I’ve blogged before about how conservativism is all about finding excuses for your selfishness, and this is just another very clear example.

It’s not about you, it’s about whether you are a carrier (which you could be completely unaware of) and about you infecting others.

This is why when you see pictures of crowded spaces in Tokyo, you’ll often see a few people wearing masks. It’s because they are fighting the flu or otherwise feel a bit sick and want to protect others from their sickness. You know, that whole “caring for other people” thing that too many Americans think is a sign of weakness or a violation of their freedom to be assholes to their fellow human beings.

As my friend writer Michael Strauss said, “You wear a mask for the same reason you wear a condom. It doesn’t prevent you from getting pregnant. It prevents her from getting pregnant. It isn’t 100% effective, but it is a hell of lot more effective than spray and pray.’

The only “rights” Republicans care about

The real reason we have more mass shootings than anywhere else

You don’t have to be a genius to get this.

Other countries have angry males. Other countries have religious fanatics, people with mental problems, and violent movies and video games.

What they don’t have is an easy access to guns.

Georgia Governor Jim Crow

Oops, I mean Brian Kemp

Clay Bennett

Mississippi bans voting on Sunday because reasons

Chuck Schumer: Why is Mississippi banning voting on Sundays?

Republican Senator Hyde-Smith of Mississippi: Because Sunday is the Sabbath! We have to keep it holy! It says so in Exodus.

Schumer (highest ranking, most visible Jewish person in government): Oh, Exodus? Which is in the Old Testament, referring to the Jewish sabbath? Which is on Saturday? That Exodus?

Sen. Cindy Hyde-Smith

(Clarification: Hyde-Smith really did say this, but Schumer’s comment was made up by me. I’ll bet he was thinking it, though)

From the state of Denial

Easy Statehood for DC

In my Constitution book, I argued for DC to become part of Maryland so that they could get representation in the Senate and Congress. But I overlooked something.

The District of Columbia was set up as a neutral place halfway between the 13 states where the federal government could exist free from any interference from any state. Of course, no one predicted at the time that it would grow to have more people in it than some smaller states.

Originally, it was a 10 mile square, with part of it on the Virginia side of the Potomac, but that side eventually was given to Virginia and became Arlington.

Since the District is in the Constitution (Article 1, Section 8, Clause 17), I said you would need a Constitutional Amendment to change that and make it a state. After all, you needed an amendment to give them Electoral Votes (The 23rd). And if you wanted to make DC a state, you’d have to basically get rid of Article 1, Section 8, Clause 17.

But it was pointed out recently that no, you don’t.

You see, nowhere in the Constitution does it say where the District would be located, and the only reference to the size of the district is a maximum limit of 10 miles square). So some are saying the simplest solution is to redefine the District’s area to only include the federal buildings: The Capitol, White House, Supreme Court building, the Smithsonian, and the various federal office buildings that no one lives in. The rest can become a brand new state.

This is a great idea, and doesn’t need an amendment, which has very little chance of getting 3/4ths of the states to agree to (especially since, let’s face it, we’ll end up with two new Senators who will most likely be Democrats and black — no Republican state wants that).

Of course, we could still make it part of Maryland. They’d get at least a few members in the House of Representatives.

But I like the state idea. And you only need a simple majority to pass it.

And while you’re at it, add Puerto Rico, which has a larger population than 20 other states. 52 stars is much easier to fit on a flag than 51.


Sexy Grammies? Say it ain’t so

Look. There were some sexy things on the Grammy awards show last night that some of my friends here are all upset about.

Oh, like you never knew there were sexy things in music. Like your parents didn’t complain about the exact same thing watching Prince videos. Like your grandparents didn’t want to see Elvis shake his hips.

Should kids see this stuff? On one hand, well, that’s your decision as to how you raise your kids.

On the other hand, your kids probably know how to use the internet better than you. I can pretty much guarantee they’ve seen worse.