It’s not Christians we’re ridiculing — it’s unamerican assholes

VP Mike Pence spoke to graduates at a religious college recently and spoke about how Christians are “ridiculed” and persecuted in America.

But that’s not true. People like me don’t ridicule and persecute Christians.  We ridicule and persecute unamerican assholes.60349468_10156489547576872_2389256131710025728_n

When religious people insist on forcing everyone else to live by their religious beliefs in America, they are assholes, and many Christians would agree with that if you mentioned “Sharia Law” to them. But when it’s their own religion, they have no problem in forcing their religious laws upon us.

The reason it looks like Christians are “persecuted,” Mr. Pence, is because they’re the only ones doing this. Jews in America aren’t trying to ban bacon. Muslims aren’t trying to make us all read from the Quran in school. Amish aren’t trying to ban telephones.

Every “attack” we may lodge at these Christians is done in self-defense.

  • They want to take away the rights of women and force us all to live by their religious belief that a collection of cells is a person.
  • They want to force us to say their prayers in our public schools.
  • They want to use our money to place religious monuments in public places.
  • They want to prohibit gays and lesbians from being married because they think their religion doesn’t allow it.
  • They want us all to celebrate their religious holidays and ignore all others or else they claim there is a “war” on their religion.
  • They want the right to discriminate based on their religious beliefs.

All we’re asking is that they leave us alone. None of us are trying to prevent them from living by their own religious codes. We just want to stop them from forcing us to live by theirs.

I have many Christian friends who are wonderful, loving people who try their best to live by the teachings of Jesus and who would never think to force others to live by their rules. The ridicule and “persecution” is not against Christians.

It’s against unamerican assholes like the Vice President.

Avengers Impeach!

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Ruben Bolling

How to Argue the Constitution with a Conservative

My book “How to Argue the Constitution with a Conservative,” from Gray Rabbit Publications, is due in August.  The Advance Reading Copy is now available. The cover will look better, but the cover illustration will remain the same. There are certain to be a few typos (such as my name being misspelled on the cover) that will be corrected by the final version. That’s how it works in the publishing world…constitution

If you have a political blog, radio show, podcast, or other media profile and would like to do a review or an interview with me or illustrator Darrin Bell, please contact me.

Here’s the press release that the publisher has sent out:

Book Launch:
How to Argue the Constitution with a Conservative:
A Liberal’s Humorous Guide to Demystifying the Laws of our Nation

With illustrations by Pulitzer-prize winning cartoonist Darrin Bell, criminal defense attorney and author Michael A. Ventrella helps Liberals better understand the Constitution to debunk Conservative conspiracy theories, misinterpretations… and outright lies.

May 1, 2019 — Immigrants have no rights! The press is the enemy of the people! Unlimited guns are my birthright!

These are just a handful of arguments being shouted by vocal Conservatives in the age of Donald Trump… even though the Constitution of the United States—the very laws of our nation—says something quite different.

But if Liberals are going to counter these erroneous, angry, ill-informed positions with facts, they need to learn those laws themselves. And it’s amazing how many don’t know what they are.

To remedy this knowledge gap, criminal defense attorney, and unabashed Liberal Michael A. Ventrella has written How to Argue the Constitution with a Conservative, a humorous, satirical look at the very document that defines our country.

As a practicing attorney for 30 years, Ventrella hopes readers will come away with a far better understanding of the Constitution, and use this critical knowledge to debunk Conservative conspiracy theories, misinterpretations, and outright lies being used to undermine the fabric of our country. And to correct their own misunderstandings of the Constitution.

As Ventrella says, the book is “a sort of Constitution for Dummies with jokes and arguments to raise the level of conversation and debate, where we discuss the actual laws of our nation and how they are applied, rather than engage in more heated arguments based on rumor, emotion, and a distortion of the facts. I also want you to have fun.”

How to Argue… will include cover art and more than 40 illustrations by 2019 Pulitzer Prize-winning editorial cartoonist Darrin Bell, creator of the syndicated comic strip Candorville.

Michael A. Ventrella’s other books include the forthcoming alternative Beatles anthology Across the Universe, which he is co-editing, Release the Virgins, which he edited for Fantastic Books in 2018, and Long Title: Looking for the Good Times; Examining the Monkees’ Songs, One by One.

Gray Rabbit Publications is honored to be publishing How to Argue the Constitution with a Conservative, hopefully adding to this important, reasoned discussion… with a light touch.

How to Argue the Constitution with a Conservative
by Michael A. Ventrella, illustrated by Darrin Bell
August 20, 2019
simultaneous case laminate hardcover and trade paperback publication
hardcover ISBN: 978-1-5154-2397-3. 164 pages, $24.99.
trade paperback ISBN: 978-1-5154-2377-5. 164 pages, $13.99.

Gray Rabbit is the non-fiction imprint of Gray Rabbit Publications, LLC, which also publishes speculative fiction under its Fantastic Books imprint. All Gray Rabbit and Fantastic Books titles are distributed via Ingram, and available through all online booksellers and by special order through physical bookstores. Review copies are available upon request.

Whiners and Losers

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Mike Peters

Why it’s okay to discriminate against Trump supporters

“I’m being discriminated against!” MAGA-hat-wearing Trump supporters claim, as people refuse to serve them or treat them with respect.

  1. It’s not discrimination
  2. They’re complete hypocrites
  3. Suck it up, losershate hat

It’s not discrimination. As Frank Zappa once said, “It’s okay to discriminate against assholes, because nobody was born an asshole.” And that’s why treating these people terribly is not discrimination — they chose to have this position. They made a conscious choice not only to support Trump but to do so publicly and in everyone’s face.

If you wear that hat, to many loyal Americans, it means that you support:

  1. A corrupt and criminal President whose personal lawyer, campaign manager, top campaign aide, top campaign adviser, national security adviser, and political adviser are either in jail or under indictment — and so would Trump be if he were not President;
  2. An administration filled with people who are either incompetent or corrupt;
  3. A President who alienates our allies while cozying up to our enemies;
  4. A President who has the support of the Klan and Nazis and who says some of them are “good people”;
  5. Separating innocent children from their parents and locking them in cages;
  6. Taking people who are legally applying for refugee status and treating them like criminals;
  7. Discrimination against gays and lesbians;
  8. Discrimination against transgendered;
  9. Discrimination against Muslims;
  10. Taking health care away from Americans;
  11. And Jesus, I could go on and on …

The point is that you chose to support this stuff. If you walk into my establishment with that hat, you may as well come in yelling “Jews will not replace us” like the Charlottesville protesters did. You may as well be carrying a Confederate Flag, have a Nazi armband, and a Klan hood on.

Damn right I don’t want to serve you. You’re an enemy of our country.

Even if you don’t support all of that stuff, then it’s clearly minor enough to you that you don’t care — which is just as bad. You don’t want to be associated with these haters? Then stop wearing their logo.

They’re complete hypocrites. These are the same people who think it’s perfectly fine to discriminate for things people have no control over (such as being gay) but when it happens to them, they think they’re being discriminated against.

Some right-wing haters have recently been kicked off Facebook because they violated Facebook’s terms, and of course, they’re all screaming that their 1st Amendment rights were violated (they weren’t). These are the exact same people who argue with a straight face that businesses should have the “freedom” to decide who to serve.

These sensitive snowflakes can dish it out, but they just can’t take it.

Suck it up, losers. You lost the election. Most Americans specifically voted against you. At the last election, most Americans voted for Democrats to replace you. Most Americans can’t stand you. Trump’s highest poll numbers are still below Obama’s lowest poll numbers.

Not only that, you Nazis and you Confederates lost your wars. You’re on the side of the Bad Guys, and that’s not a subjective standard. Your bigoted viewpoints are losing viewpoints that will be erased by history.

Sorry you don’t have a “safe space” you can hide in. Parade your hatred elsewhere; you’re not welcome here.

No shoes, no shirt, no service … and no assholes.

EDIT: This article was written after some MAGA-hat wearers were complaining that they were being harassed as they walked down the street. That’s the kind of discrimination I was thinking of. Discrimination in employment or in being served at a store is different, and would take quite a bit more time to explain.

 

 

New standards

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Mike Peters

Constitutional fundamentalists

The problem with both conservatives and liberals when it comes to the Constitution is that they are often like Christians in that, like Christians with the Bible, they tend to read into it what they want, ignore the parts they disagree with, and in fact probably have never read it in the first place.constitution_quill_pen

These “Constitutional Fundamentalists” are also very similar to religious ones in that when they do interpret the document, they always find that the unchanging and clear words in the document mean exactly what they already believed anyway.

You never see one of these people go “The Constitution is clear and unambigous and cannot be interpreted! We have to read it exactly as the founders intended! Unfortunately for me, it’s obvious that they intended something I disagree with.”

No, it’s always “We must obey the will of the founders who clearly wanted everyone to have an assault rifle without any restrictions whatsoever!”