The return of Kenneth Starr

So let me get this straight.

Trump has hired Ken Starr — the man who tried to convince us all that a consensual blow job was grounds for removing a President from office — to try to convince us all that there’s nothing Trump has done that warrants removal.

Good luck with that, Ken.

mobster don

Evidence

Darrin Bell

The latest internet fear: signing with 20

A meme has been going around warning people not to sign their documents with “20” as the year because someone might change it on them.

I thought that was kind of ridiculous, and said so on my Facebook page.

NBC’s Today Show thought my comments were interesting, and quoted me in their article about it.  Click here for a link to the article below:

A Maine police department passed along a warning from a law office to avoid abbreviating 2020 on checks and legal documents.
By Scott Stump

A Maine police department is warning against abbreviating the year 2020 on checks and legal documents for precautionary reasons and to avoid potential fraud.

The East Millinocket Police Department shared a message on Facebook from the George E. Moore Law Office in Ohio that advises people to write out 2020 instead of an example like 3/3/20 because it could allow people to write a different year at the end by adding two digits after 20.

“This is sound advice and should be considered when signing any legal or professional document,” the department wrote on Facebook. “It could potentially save you some trouble down the road.”

The department later edited the post after receiving some criticism to say that it was intended as a warning, not strict legal advice.

“Of course we understand that all dates can be altered, however I believe that most here would agree that if a document of any kind, either legal or professional, is brought to our attention as being forged or fraudulent, it would likely raise far more red flags, depending on the circumstances, if it had a date of 1999 as opposed to 2019 or 2021.

A Maine police department passed along a warning from a law office to avoid abbreviating 2020 on checks and legal documents.

“Again, we shared this meme with a simple cautionary post, giving the citizens of our small community information to consider. Criminals are always looking for ways to take advantage of people. This meme provided a tip that we felt has some validity so this is why we shared it. It is not intended as legal advise or a warning, only as a cautionary tip to consider.”

So is this a legitimate concern as we start the new year?

“The chances of someone trying to pull that kind of fraud on you are pretty slim, especially since it is so easy to prove that it was done,” Pennsylvania attorney Michael Ventrella told TODAY in an email.

“If someone changes the date on a check or a contract, that’s fraud. It’s easy to prove and no court will hold you responsible for a contract that was changed like that. Even a simple mistake can be easily corrected.”

Contract law is not so strict as to hold people to whatever is written down if that was not their intent, Ventrella added.

“You’d also have to ask why someone would do this,” he said. “If you change the date on a check to 2019, for instance, then a check dated Jan. 3, 2019 would never be honored by a bank because it’s so old. Who would do that? What benefit would it have?

“If you want to play it safe, then sure, write out the entire date. But you’d be better off to prepare for being hit by lightning, because that’s probably more likely.”

 

Iran. Iran so far away

Monte Wolverton

Best and Worst Animated Films of 2019

Back when I was young, I was happy to see even one new animated film a year. Now there’s practically one a week.

In the 80s, I started a magazine called “Animato!” that later grew quite large and popular. I got to meet and interview great animators like Chuck Jones and Ralph Bakshi but later sold the magazine, and it went on to even bigger successes until the internet killed all magazines.51MKTRQpAhL._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_

So I’m still an animation fan, but it’s basically impossible to see all the films and all the animated TV shows these days unless you’re a full-time animator or animation historian, I guess.

There were some really great films this year I did get to catch, though.

These days, with so much CGI, we can debate what an “animated film” even is, but generally the accepted definition is that the main characters must be animated — not just the monsters or effects. (And “motion capture” doesn’t count.)

So here’s my annual end-of-the-year list of best and worst animated films (based on their Rotten Tomatoes score).  It only includes films that actually were released to theaters, even for a day, and had at least five reviews in order to get a Rotten Tomatoes score. (Lots of bad films go directly to DVD or cable.) Ties are broken by number of reviews.

  1. Toy Story 4 (97%)
  2. Klaus (92%)
  3. How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World (90%)
  4. Missing Link (89%)
  5. The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part (85%)
  6. Abominable (81%)
  7. Frozen II (77%)
  8. Spies in Disguise (73%)
  9. The Angry Birds Movie 2 (73%)
  10. Lady and the Tramp (65%)
  11. The Secret Life of Pets 2 (59%)
  12. The Lion King (53%)
  13. The Addams Family (43%)
  14. Wonder Park (33%)
  15. Ugly Dolls (28%)
  16. Playmobil (16%)
  17. Arctic Dogs (13%)

Republican Evolution

Mark Stanfill

Christmas Laughs

“I bought my brother some gift wrap for Christmas. I took it to the Gift Wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.” – Steven Wright

“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” – Phyllis Diller

“I played Santa Claus many times, and if you don’t believe it, check out the divorce settlements awarded my wives.” – Groucho Marxgroucho claus

“In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it ‘Christmas’ and went to church; the Jews called it ‘Hanukkah’ and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say ‘Merry Christmas!’ or ‘Happy Hanukkah!’ or (to the atheists) ‘Look out for the wall!’” — Dave Barry

“The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.” – Jay Leno

“The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.” – Dennis Miller

“Christmas is the only religious holiday that is also a federal holiday. That way, Christians can go to their services, and everyone else can sit at home and reflect on the true meaning of the separation of church and state.” – Samantha Bee 

“Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.” – W. C. Fields

“This holiday season, no matter what your religion is, please take a moment to reflect on why it’s better than all the other ones.” Guy Endore Kaiser

“Ever wonder what people got Jesus for Christmas? It’s like, ‘Oh great, socks. You know I’m dying for your sins right? Yeah, but thanks for the socks! They’ll go great with my sandals. What am I, German?’” – Jim Gaffigan

“My grandmother passed away at Christmas time. So now I have this built in sadness every holiday beause I’m plagued with the thought of what she would have given me.” – Laura Knightlinger

“The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.” – Joan Rivers

“I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.” – Shirley Temple

“Let me see if I’ve got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn’t laundering illegal drug money?” – Tom Armstrong

“Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.” – Victor Borge

“Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, he must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, must be a pacifist. What’s in that pipe that he’s smoking?” Arlo Guthrie

“The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven’t seen for 20 minutes.” — Julius Sharpe

“Roses are reddish, Violets are bluish, If it weren’t for Christmas, We’d all be Jewish.” – Benny Hill

“Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas. You know, the birth of Santa?” – Matt Groening

“Be careful with drinking this Christmas. I got so drunk last night I found myself dancing in a cheesy bar… or, as you like to call it, delicatessen.” Sean Hughes

“Christmas is a baby shower that went way overboard.” – Andy Borowitz

“There are 17 more shopping days until Christmas. So guys, that means 16 more days until we start shopping, right?” – Conan O’Brien

“One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December.” – Louis C.K.

“Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip.” – Gary Allan

“My mother-in-law has come round to our house at Christmas seven years running. This year we’re having a change. We’re going to let her in.” – Leslie “Les” Dawson, Jr.

“This past Christmas, I told my girlfriend for months in advance that all I wanted was an Xbox. That’s it. Beginning and end of list, Xbox. You know what she got me? A homemade frame with a picture of us from our first date together. Which was fine. Because I got her an Xbox.” – Anthony Jeselnik

“Merry Christmas, Nearly Everybody!” – Ogden Nash