Another state has just spent a ton of taxpayer money forcing welfare recipients to take drug tests only to find that the number of welfare drug users is actually less than the national average. (If you think only poor people use drugs, you’re an idiot.)

Normally, conservatives hate wasting taxpayer money. But when Utah spent thousands of dollars to test drug users only to find twelve who failed the test (yes, you read that right), they considered the money well-spent.

Last year, Florida‘s program had a similar result, when the costs for testing far outweighed the 2% who failed the drug test.

“People who get government money should take these tests, and if they fail they should lose their benefits!” say some. Well, OK, but then let’s be fair about it. We should test all people getting government benefits, the vast majority of whom are elderly and/or disabled (You know, the evil “entitlement kings and queens” Romney warned us about).

Specifically, that would include:

The elderly who get Medicare and Social Security
The Disabled
Veterans who get any sort of veteran service
People who get student loans
Workers who become unemployed
Children who get school lunches
Parents who get child tax write-offs
People who get mortgage credits
Factory farm CEOs who get farm subsidies
Oil company CEOs who get “incentives”

Let’s see … is there anyone left who does not get government benefits?