Inconvenient Facts and Bathrooms

The right-wing’s aversion to facts has long been documented (with facts). From denial of climate change and evolution to false claims about Planned Parenthood to a refusal to acknowledge the improving economy, the one thing that is consistent with current conservative thought is an aversion to truth when it contradicts their already-held views.

cartoon by Kevin Siers

The latest involves sexual identity. Let’s face it, they’ve never quite understood sex anyway — probably due to their religious views. But now they’re convinced that children are in danger because of something that has been going on forever and has never caused a problem before: Trans people using the bathroom for the sex they identify with.

Why is this suddenly an issue? They’ve been doing this for generations and no one can find a single example of a trans person abusing anyone in a bathroom. (Oh, there’s probably an example out there somewhere that someone will eventually find; statistically speaking, it’s possible. But one out of how many billions of bathroom visits? You’re much more likely to be abused by a Catholic priest or a Republican Congressman* but no one is writing laws preventing them from using bathrooms.)

That doesn’t stop the right from screaming about it and pointing out examples of men who have abused children in bathrooms — men who do not identify as women in the slightest.

The fact is (Oh there I go again, relying on “facts”), chances are you’ve shared a bathroom with a trans person already but didn’t know it because — here’s the key — the person identifies as the proper sex for that bathroom. They look like the sex they identify with. That’s the point.

If you abuse someone in a bathroom or harass them or peek at them, you’re committing a crime and it doesn’t matter whether you’re trans or not. These laws trying to discriminate against trans people do absolutely nothing to stop that. Their only purpose is to once again make sex that conservatives don’t understand illegal.

*That was another fact, just in case you didn’t recognize it.

The Most Important Question to Ask When Dealing with Human Sexuality

Human sexuality is more complicated than many people wish to acknowledge. The kind of person we are attracted to can change over the years. Men can be interested in women and then men and then back to women again. Some people are only interested in tall companions, some want fat ones, some only want one race … there is an infinite variety of possibilities that people find attractive.Sexuality

Then to complicate things even more, people do not always identify with the sex to which they were born, and even that can change over the years. Sexuality is a fluid thing with many gray areas and it cannot easily be placed into set categories and boxes. And you cannot always tell by looking at someone what those categories might be.

So when you are thinking about someone’s sexuality, there is one overriding question you should always ask:

Who cares?

As long as everything is between consenting adult humans, who cares? How does it hurt you or anyone else in the slightest? In fact, if those consenting adults are happy, why aren’t you happy for them?

So someone is still female but identifies a male and wants to use the male restroom. Who cares? Are you hurt in some way? So two people of the same sex want to express their love and get married. Who cares? Isn’t marriage a great thing that we should be encouraging? So someone is into all sorts of sexual behavior that disgusts you and makes you cringe at the thought. Who cares? No one if forcing you to get involved.

So much stress, hatred, and anxiety could be relieved if we all just remembered to ask ourselves that question.