If only we could just stone gays to death like the good old days…

Ah, yes, if only America had morals, then we could stone to death people who we disagree with.  What a wonderful world that would be!

So sayeth Pat Robertson, who speaks for millions who watch his show and believe this feeble old man (who thinks that “homosexuals cause earthquakes” because God is so unhappy).

“I think you’ve got to remember from the Bible, you look carefully at the Bible, what would have happened in Jesus’ time if two men decided they wanted to cohabitate together, they would have been stoned to death,” he said. “So, Jesus would not have baked them a wedding cake, nor would he he have made them a bed to sleep in because they wouldn’t have been there.”

“But we don’t have that in this country here,” he said with a wistful look in his eye. “So, that’s the way it is.”

You all remember those parts of the Bible where Jesus spoke about how he hated gays, right?  And how they should be stoned to death?  You don’t remember those parts?  Oh, that’s probably because they aren’t in there.

There actually are comments like that in the Old Testament, right next to the prohibitions against tattoos, ham sandwiches,  shrimp, planting crops together, wearing clothing made out of more than one cloth, divorce, and allowing women to speak in church.  But for some reason, there isn’t a huge Christian movement to ban bacon.

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