Political conventions are inevitably boring, because the campaigns turn them into a four-night free commercial for their candidates. They’re meant to show unity in the party and to brag about accomplishments and make promises for the future. Everything is safe, planned, and approved, and nobody wants any surprises.

Surprise!

The rules are once again being rewritten as we see the further destruction of the Republican party at the hands of the egomanic Trump monster.

My wife and I watched a little and came up with a great new drinking game: Spot the non-white delegate! Every once in a while, we thought we found one but it always turned out to just be a reporter. We remained sober all night.

Anyway, let’s summarize the first night:

Before it began, the Cleveland police asked that open carry not be allowed in the area even though Ohio law permits it. This makes absolute sense but of course would expose the Republicans as complete hypocrites. As it was, the law is still there and people are walking around outside of the convention guns in hand — while the police nervously stand by. We’ll see if it remains peaceful but it’s generally not the image you want for your convention.

Then the convention opens and absolutely none of the previous Republican Presidents are in attendance, nor are a huge percentage of Republican Senators and representatives.

It starts with a huge floor fight where some of the states walked out in protest while trying to keep Trump from being nominated. Yeah, that looks good on television. Unity!

Republican Steve King — the guy from Ohio who has a Confederate flag on his desk — then talked about how all civilization is thanks to white people.  I am not making this up.

Some old TV star gets up on stage after calling Hillary Clinton a “cunt” and another one explains how Obama is a Muslim. Hey, come on, don’t criticize them for being TV stars. They’re just as qualified to be President as the Republican nominee.

Trump walks out surrounded by dry ice smoke, like he’s a professional wrestler about to enter the ring, and to the tune of “We Are the Champions” —  a song by a gay man that the party would like to remove all rights from.

Then Trump’s wife gives a speech that copies almost word-for-word the speech Michelle Obama gave eight years previously, and that’s what makes the news.

Republicans are thrilled. Better to have that as the headline than all of the terrible things that preceded it.  Maybe that was the plan all along?

Nah. That implies Trump has a plan.