Our devious plan is coming to fruition! Soon every state will be forced to allow all humans to be treated as equals! Muahahaha! 
Our latest conquest is the very very red state of Oklahoma, where a federal judge has ruled unconstitutional their law prohibiting gays from getting married.
The liberal plan is shrewd, if I must say so. We have convinced judges that it is wrong to discriminate against people for no good reason. And how did we do this? By using the actual literal words of the United States Constitution! Muahahaha!
Now, admittedly, there are those who will stand in our way and demand that America is all about treating some of its citizens as inferior — that we should stand for the denial of basic human rights. Fools! We will show them all! Oklahoma and Utah may have stopped gay marriages while this case is on appeal, but we will eventually prevail!
And none shall stop us!
There was another school shooting, so that can only mean that it’s time once again for America’s favorite pastime! It’s the Gun Control Shuffle!
1. Have a mass shooting.
2. Bury the dead and cry.
3. Politicians talk about the need for gun control so this never happens again.
4. Gun manufacturers, through their lobby group the NRA, warns that the government is out to take everyone’s guns.
5. Gun lovers buy lots of guns because they believe the NRA and the right-wing media.
6. Gun manufacturers’ income skyrockets.
7. Gun manufacturers use this money to bribe politicians through their lobby group, the NRA.
8. Despite overwhelming public support, no gun control passes.
9. Another mass shooting occurs.
Repeat every few months.
Note: This is the third Gun Control Shuffle in the past five months, so we’re right on schedule.
If you’re an artist, it seems like the way to get your name out there these days is to take the Disney Princesses and draw them in unusual styles.
You got your hipster princesses …
… and your steampunk princesses …
… and your superhero princesses …
… and your Moulin Rogue princesses …
Then you have your princesses as the seven deadly sins …
… and as Tim Burton drawings …
… and as Vogue models …
… and as Sailor Moon characters …
Not to mention as cute little kids …
… and deadly fighters …
Of course, we can’t forget the princesses as hobbits …
… or as zombies …
…or as grumpy cats …
… and Nicholas Cage.
And of course, this being the internet, there are hundreds of pornographic Disney princesses out there too. Do your own search.
Okay, okay, I know. This has nothing to do with politics, but remember — I used to edit a magazine about animation (Animato!), so let me sneak things like this in every once in a while, hm?
Besides, my last post on the Disney Princesses constantly gets blog hits thanks to search engines… 😉
Of course, this leads to the real question: Since when did Meg from “Hercules” and Esmerelda from “The Hunchback from Notre Dame” become princesses? Apparently that word is being very broadly interpreted these days… (For that matter, where is Princess Eilonwy from “The Black Cauldron”?)
And just to be clear: Anastasia is not Disney!
Irony Alert!
Jan 9: The EPA announces that there should be new standards in West Virginia for coal. West Virginia politicians hold a press conferences to say that they are not needed.
Jan 10: West Virginia Governor Earl Ray Tomblin calls for a state of emergency after coal industry dumps toxic chemicals into drinking water.
Not making this up.
Oh yeah? Well, we don’t care what you think!
When the governor of Utah announced that he wouldn’t allow his state to recognize those marriages that were performed after a federal judge ruled them legal (but before they were placed on hold pending an appeal), those of us who are in favor of basic human rights sighed. 
How can people be so mean? How does it hurt Utah in the slightest for some of its citizens to proclaim their love? I never have understood the mean-spirited nature of those against gay marriage.
So it was a great pleasure to see today that United States Attorney General Eric Holder announced that all of those marriages would be recognized by the Federal government. “I am confirming today that, for purposes of federal law, these marriages will be recognized as lawful and considered eligible for all relevant federal benefits on the same terms as other same-sex marriages,” Holder said. “These families should not be asked to endure uncertainty regarding their status as the litigation unfolds.”
Ha! Take that!
It’s not a complete win, but it shows who is on the side of justice.
ventrellaquest.com 