Crime

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Join the fight against affluenza

by Guest Blogger Jesse Hendrix

Much attention has been paid to the recent tragedy in Texas, where a wealthy teenager who killed 4 people while driving drunk and was given a sentence of probation and treatment instead of jail time. logo_affThe teen’s lawyer argued that he was suffering from Affluenza, an inability to understand the consequences of his actions brought on by wealth and privilege.

While this case is a tragedy and a miscarriage of justice, it may finally bring attention to the dangerous epidemic of Affluenza.  Affluenza effects thousands of wealthy Americans and it’s more virulent cousin, Affluenza-by-proxy is suffered by millions more.

There are many possible symptoms of Affluenza including:

Belief that you are immune to the consequences of your actions;

Belief that your personal wealth is more important than the lives and fortunes of others;

Paranoia that the poor, unions, or the government are coming to steal all your wealth;

The belief that Ayn Rand was a genuine philosopher, and that selfishness is a virtue; and

Immunity to factual information.

The widespread prevalence of Affulenza among the richest members of society is responsible for  hardship throughout the country. When CEOs triple their own pay while refusing to raise wages for low-paid workers, that’s Affulenza in action. When Republicans in Congress refuse to extend unemployment benefits and insist on food stamp cuts, that’s Affulenza as well. When Donald Trump turns tragedy into insanebirther conspiracy theories, that is a mind completely ravaged by this disease.

What makes Affulenza so dangerous is that its sufferers are driven to spread it. Affluenza is spread through audio-visual means via vectors such as Fox News and talk radio. This allows the disease to spread to non-wealthy people in the form known as Affuenza-by-proxy. Sufferers of this variant demonstrate the symptoms above combined with a delusional belief that wealthy sufferers have the best interests of the country at heart.

Unfortunately there is no cure for Affuenza. But there is treatment available. If someone you know might be suffering from this condition, it is important to separate them from the causes. Exposure to non-biased news sources can ease early cases of Affluenza-by-proxy, but full blown cases take more intensive treatment. Those with a fully developed case of wealth-driven Affluenza can only be treated by forcing them to confront the consequences of their actions.  This requires a careful balance of popular and government pressure.

While fighting other diseases requires funding, fighting Affluenza can only be accomplished by keeping the money away. As a concerned member of the public your most potent tool is carefully deciding where to spend your money. If a business is demonstrating signs of being run by a sufferer, take your business elsewhere. The only way to help sufferers of this disease is reduce their access to the wealth and power that cause it.

Together we can put an end to Affluenza.

Reproduced from Politlcal Moll and used with permission.

Jesse Hendrix writes political satire at http://www.stoptellingliesaboutliberals.com. Questions, comments, good jokes and job offers can be sent to him at jessemhendrix@gmail.com

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I don’t believe in Zimmerman

Zimmerman is in custody for another incident involving a gun? Shocked! Shocked I am!

And in custody, too? Must be a white victim this time!

Maybe they had some skittles. That usually sets him off.

Clearly his elderly in-laws had threatened him and he was merely standing his ground.

Yeah, yeah, fine, I get it. I’m being mean. But this guy gets no sympathy from me.

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A period of mourning

Sorry, I haven’t been in the mood to post anything funny or political since yesterday … this happened less than a dozen miles from my home.

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Understanding your ground

Our legal system is the best there is, but it isn’t perfect. Innocent people get found guilty all the time, and guilty people get found not guilty (which, technically, is not the same thing as being found innocent). I’ve won cases I was sure I’d lose and lost cases I was sure I’d win, and sometimes after a verdict both the DA and I scratch our heads and wonder what the jury was thinking.

That’s why I always advise my clients to take deals when they don’t want to gamble with a trial. That’s also the main reason I’m against the death penalty (I don’t believe there should be a 100% irreversible penalty when our system is not 100% perfect).

The Zimmerman trial is the latest example. The verdict doesn’t make sense to me, but hey, sometimes I just scratch my head. For some reason, those jurors were not convinced beyond a reasonable doubt. Another jury watching the same trial could have found the exact opposite. That’s how the system works.

As people point out, this case was all about self-defense. I won a huge self-defense case last year, but the laws here in Pennsylvania are different. We don’t have a “stand your ground” law which is popular in those “wild west” types of states that want people to be able to do things that only trained police officers do elsewhere.

Self-defense laws in most states hold that you must retreat from the fight if at all possible and if you do fight back, you cannot give more force back than is necessary. Florida’s law, apparently, is “if someone is giving you some bruises, you can kill them. Especially if they’re armed with skittles.”

I’m not even sure exactly how the prosecution and the judge allowed Zimmerman to use the “stand your ground” defense. Zimmerman was the one stalking Martin, right? He’s the one who started the fight and came to it with a loaded gun. If it hadn’t been for Zimmerman’s aggression, there wouldn’t have been a fight and Martin would still be alive. Martin was the one standing his ground.

But, you know, people are murdered every day. The vast majority of these cases never make the news, and I’m sure there have been some miscarriages of justice in these cases too, hidden from the scrutiny of the press.

The bottom line is this: I’m a defense attorney and I can’t figure this verdict out. I mean, it seemed black and white to me.

Hey! Maybe that’s the reason!

Editorial cartoon of the day

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The ricin-mailing idiot

“Someone again sent the deadly poison Ricin to President Obama through the mail. These dumbasses, do they really think Obama opens his own mail?” – Bill Maherricin

Apparently the woman who has been arrested for this is a failed actress (more of an extra, really) who has been through three marriages and five kids who did this to try to frame her current husband, so for once we can’t blame crazy right-wing political activists for this (although she was from Texas, where many of the craziest live, and the letters were all rants about guns being taken away)…

I’m not going to help her by printing her name; for all I know, she did this for the publicity. (Hey, she’ll still be available for film roles once she’s out of jail in ten years or so…)

I don’t really have anything to add to the story except this: I wonder who will play her in the movie version of this story?

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All we know is that they were evil

I’ve been away most of the weekend and am behind in the news, but it seems clear that we do not yet know why these idiots bombed Boston.

So when I see posts saying “They are Islamic terrorists” or “they are right-wing extremists” or “they are Obama supporters” I just ignore them, and I advise everyone else to do so as well until we know more.

The only thing we know for sure is that they were evil.

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More jumping

Yesterday I criticized Fox for jumping to conclusions. I was right; they had to back away and admit that they were completely wrong.

Today, CNN and NBC (and Fox again) also read too much into something and proclaimed that a suspect was in custody when in fact the only real news was that a video had been found that showed someone who might be the bomber. More jumping to conclusions, but at least this time it wasn’t a “He’s Muslim so he must be guilty” situation.

I feel like yelling “everyone remain calm and remember Richard Jewell!”

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Jumping to conclusions

I went to law school in Boston, just a few blocks from the bombing. I traveled Boylston Street often — to get to the Copley Place subway stop or go to the great Boston Public Library for books or guest lectures. I lived in Boston for a total of twelve years and often think I never should have left.

So of course, like everyone, I looked for answers. Who would do this horrible thing? And why?boston

I speculated. It sure seemed more like a home-grown attack than a terrorist one. It happened on tax day, in the home of the original tea party. And as my friend, journalist Steve Vaughan (a/k/a “Virginia Pundit”) said, “I’m not sure the targets would have the same resonance with our ‘friends’ in the Middle East. Also, no martyrs. Whoever did this planted the bombs, walked away and set them off by remote. That sounds like Americans.”

That doesn’t mean Steve and I are right. Just wondering, and speculating.

However, many don’t seem to care about speculating. Fox News (through the New York Post) wildly reported that there was a Muslim suspect in custody. Even after the Police denied the story, they stood by it. By today, when it was made clear that the police had merely spoken to a Muslim kid who was a witness (along with hundreds of other witnesses) did Fox back away. Fortunately, all the other reliable media have learned not to repeat anything reported by anything owned by Rupert Murdock. No such restriction was held with the right-wing blog, who gladly proclaimed their “truth” of the matter. And some of my conservative friends reposted these accusations over and over on their Facebook pages, spreading the crap.

Now, I don’t know. Maybe it was some Islamic extremist. Or maybe it was a home-grown one. Or maybe just a crazy person acting on his own. We don’t know yet.

It’s one thing to speculate based on evidence and the methods by which the bombing happened, and quite another to make huge accusations based on fear.

So I advise everyone: Be cynical. Be skeptical. Demand evidence.

And never trust anything connected with Fox News.

And always check Snopes first!