Our culture has degenerated to the point where people openly are left-handed, in public, unashamed, and television and the media encourages such deviant behavior.
Left-handed people keep shoving their left-handedness down our throats and are expecting us to just accept this without complaining. They call for “Lefty Pride” and openly promote their radical agenda. President Obama himself constantly signed executive orders using his left hand, and people acted as if it was no big deal.
As we know, being left-handed is a sin in the eyes of God. Sure, people claim they were born that way, but even if that were true, these sinners chose to act on their left-handedness, and often perform left-handed acts in public. We can love the sinner and hate the sin, after all, but when you choose to sin, God does not excuse you. Think of the children!
We need to preserve our precious way of life and fight against those liberals who want to treat being left-handed as if it was “natural.” And don’t get me started on grocery stores that promote shellfish where the children can see it!
The story of how I “predicted” the Hodor plotline has apparently gained me another 15 minutes of fame, as it’s once more recounted on Cracked’s web page today in an article called “6 Throwaway Jokes That Ended Up Predicting Huge Plot Twists.”
If you don’t know the story, click here for the background.
George was of course a great sport about it all and gladly posed for a joke picture afterwards:
It’s been around three years now since I had lasik surgery. Was it worth it?
I had worn glasses since I was ten years old. Too much reading probably. At first, my prescription wasn’t that bad, but as time went on, the glasses got thicker and thicker. By the time I was 40, I needed bifocals. I got the kind without the lines, which really would have bugged me, but bifocals are a headache in and of themselves — if your head isn’t at exactly the right angle, things are out of focus. Lying on the sofa and wanting to watch TV required a few minutes of arranging pillows so I could see everything in focus, and changing positions meant pausing the show to make adjustments.
Then things started getting worse. My eyes couldn’t handle the stress. I would get flashes that stayed for many minutes — you know, how when you look at the sun and then look away and there would be a kind of exposure that stays in your vision? I’d get those for no reason whatsoever.
The final straw was when I was in court and I started seeing two images. Scariest thing ever. You ever been to the optometrist and your head is against that machine and the doctor shows you two images, one above the other, and says, “Let me know when the images combine into one?” I was seeing two images without that machine!
So it was determined that I really needed to get a lasik operation by everyone except, of course, my insurance company, which called it “elective surgery.”
I was hesitant, of course — it’s my eyes, what if something goes wrong? (Plus I thought I looked good in glasses.)
The surgery itself was really simple. It took five minutes at most. I laid back, they used a q-tip to numb my eyes, and then it was done. I needed a ride home and couldn’t drive for a day or so, but the next morning was amazing. I woke up and could read the clock on the other side of the room for the first time in my adult life. I stayed home from work just in case but I was fine by later that day.
I also remember the first time I went to bed that night after having the surgery, and just as I was about to lay down, reaching up to my face to remove my non-existent glasses. Forty-five years of doing that every day is a hard habit to break.
One difference I noticed was that there was a halo effect around lights at night, especially things like streetlights. My night vision also seemed diminished. This is normal, and I’m not sure if it’s gotten better over time or if I’ve just become used to it.
My eyes were also very dry after the operation and I had to carry around eye drops and put them in every few hours. It gradually got better so that I no longer need to do that.
Still haven’t figured out how to shoot lasers out of my eyes, though. I suppose that comes later.
The operation was expensive but then again, so is buying new glasses every few years, which can really add up.
I still need glasses for reading and using the computer, but I buy them three for ten dollars at the discount store.
Last week, I decided that I should get bifocals again, with a clear top part and a magnified bottom part. 
That way, I wouldn’t be whipping off my glasses every time I go between reading something and looking at the person I’m talking to (which happens a lot when you’re a lawyer, as you can imagine). What a mistake. I had forgotten the problems with having to hold your head a specific way. With the bifocals I had to hold my head up and look down my nose to read the computer screen. Fortunately, the eyeglass people were nice and allowed me to return them for a full refund.
So I’m going back to what I learned to do after the surgery — put the glasses down at the end of my nose so that I can see over top of them. Fortunately, I have plenty of nose for that.
It’s frustrating to have to always carry around glasses with me. I have glasses laying all over the house so if I go into the kitchen and need to read cooking instructions on a package, I’ll be ready. (I used to be able to hold those things up to my face to read them, but not any more.) But given all the advantages, this is minor.
So yes, I absolutely recommend it.
ventrellaquest.com 