If sharks had lobbyists

Biden’s low poll numbers can be blamed on liberals

The reasons Biden’s poll numbers are down are not that people are turning away from him and supporting conservatives — it’s largely liberals who are disappointed with him who are causing the downturn.

Biden never had conservatives supporting him. And unlike Trumpies, we on the left are not in a cult. If the President does something we don’t like, we don’t pretend it never happened.

We’re upset that he isn’t doing more. You know as well as I do if the situation was reversed, the GOP would have indicted the representatives involved in January 6th, the President who caused it, and more. They would have removed the Postmaster General, expanded the Supreme Court to 13, and found a way to get all that done through executive orders and the bureaucracy.

So don’t go saying Biden’s numbers reflect a disappointment with liberal politics, because poll after poll shows that our views are the majority ones. It’s a disappointment that we’re not accomplishing them.

Note that Biden remained constantly ahead of Trump’s numbers for the same periods of their Presidency, and the current numbers are within the margin of error. Note as well that Trump, among all Presidents, never even reached a 50% approval rating his entire term.

Only in America

A message from God

“Hi, it’s me, God. I’ve created a gigantically unimaginably huge universe, so large even I have trouble comprehending it.

However, I am only concerned with one small infinitesimal part of it, and then only those creatures who evolved in the last half a million or so years of the planet’s four billion year history, and then I only made an appearance in one small area of the planet for a short period of time where I performed some miracles and then never came back again.

Because, you know, I’m God. I work in mysterious ways.

And of all the trillions and trillions of worlds in this universe, what concerns me most? Whether people on this small planet out on the edge of one minor galaxy love each other in a way I don’t approve of.”

American Shooting Gallery

Fictional changes to fictional characters

“We’re going to update this Shakespeare play to modern times!”

“Good, artistic license allows for re-interpretations of previously done work.”

“We’re taking the story of Alexander Hamilton and reinterpreting it by using people of color as the main characters.”

“Sounds interesting, and certainly within the rights of the artist.”

“We’re redoing the fantasy make-believe story of ‘The Little Mermaid’, changing nothing to the plotline, and we’ve cast this black girl as the main character.”

“WHAT? Look, I’m no racist, but there is no need whatsoever for your politically correct bullshit. I protest strongly!”

GOP Guide to Capitol Activity

Tourists love stairways!

If there’s one thing all tourists to the Capitol want to see, it’s hallways and stairways. They love to take pictures of hallways, stairways, and exits.

You know they’re tourists because they kept saying things like “We’re coming for you” and “there’s no escape” when Democratic offices were pointed out. It’s pure coincidence that this happened the day before the insurrection.

And if you believe that, I have a bridge you may be interested in buying…

Because innocent people always need pardons

Angry white guy speaks

“Hi, I’m a straight white male who has enjoyed superhero movies for years and who is upset that now these movies are aimed at audiences other than just straight white males!

Clearly, Hollywood is only interested in being woke and the fact that these new movies are making a ton of money and are very successful, proving that people want to see them, is irrelevant!

I demand to be the center of all attention, dammit! Everything has to be about me!