by guest blogger Dean Friedman

Part 1

This is a letter to friends and loved ones traumatized by Tuesday’s harrowing election.

It’s directed, especially, to younger women who, quite justifiably, are terrified and deeply depressed about what may be in store for them in a post-Roe landscape, now energized by a party that’s secured the White House and is committed to ending their reproductive rights and women’s healthcare, on a national level.

The point of this letter is not to dismiss your fears or minimize the very real threat you, and we all, now face.

What just happened in this country is devastating. And its repercussions on our politics and culture, and the lives of innocent and vulnerable populations, will be felt for years to come. There’s no denying that we’re facing four years of a slow-motion disaster. And yet…

We can’t let ourselves live in a state of perpetual fear and dread. It’s not healthy. It’s not productive. And succumbing to those emotions will only make things worse, and ourselves miserable.

So, for that reason, I’m compelled to try and articulate a few important points in the hope that it can alleviate some of that fear and anxiety. And, hopefully, offer some helpful perspective on understanding what’s going on; to put it in some kind of context that lets us get on with our lives, despite the recurring waves of nausea we’re destined to feel, for the next 1,460 days, every time we hear him speak or see his face (don’t worry, it’ll go by faster than you think).

So, to start off, let me just say, WTF?!! How can it be that at least half the US citizenry decided that it was a good idea to entrust the fate of the country by handing the carkeys of government to a clownish, narcissistic bully that spouts endless abuse, celebrates and incites violence, and demonizes vulnerable populations?

And how the hell did this happen – again? And holy f^@%, what’s going to happen next? And, most concerning… how bad can it actually get?

(feeling better yet?)

I don’t profess to have any brilliant answers to those questions, but I do have a few observations that might, hopefully, provide some useful insight.

So, here goes…

[Note: if you’re someone who voted for the president-elect, instead of dismissing this missive, I invite you to exercise a tiny dash of empathy – difficult as that may be – and try to imagine how it must feel to a young person, raised to treat people with respect, not be a bully, not be a braggart, not lie incessantly, and not promote violence… who now faces a world ostensibly run by a man who personifies all of those repellant character flaws.]

HISTORY – It’s déjà vu all over again.

We’ve been here before. Our current crisis may be unique to this time but, as a country, we’ve faced cataclysmic troubles that threatened the fabric and stability of our way of life, before – right from the very beginning. I mean, it’s only in recent decades that people of color, or women of any race, or the gay community, enjoyed any rights at all.

And while it doesn’t lessen the danger of this moment, it’s important to remember that America has endured endless, seemingly existential political and social crises – and survived, indeed, gone on to thrive.

The pendulum always swings back (at least until some stray meteor slips stealthily by our non-existent SpaceForce defenses). In presidential politics, and elections in general, that’s par for the course. In the last 1/2 century it consistently swung…

from Nixon’s Vietnam, War on Drugs & Watergate to Carter’s Camp David Agreement and championing of human rights. (via Ford);

from Reagan’s union busting and trickle-down economics to Clinton’s balanced Federal budget with budget surplus (via Bush 41);

from Bush 43’s senseless Iraq War directly to 8 years of prosperity and sanity under Obama, featuring the Affordable Care Act i.e. Obamacare;

from DT’s Muslim ban and child separation policy and environmental assault to the decency and life-saving economic rescue and recovery, engineered by Biden.

That pendulum’s swing is just the nature of politics, especially in the rigid, tightly balanced, two-party system we have, here in America.

I’d also be remiss in not mentioning that sometimes the pendulum swings both ways, at once (it’s the rainbow effect ;-):

Despite the calamitous white house results, it’s significant that, for the first time in history, there are now two black women who’ve been elected to, and will serve concurrently in, the U.S. Senate. Angela Alsobrooks of Maryland and Lisa Blunt Rochester of Delaware defied the supposed Republican wave, following in the footsteps of Carol Moseley Braun of Illinois, who was the very first and, of course, our current VP Kamala Harris.

But it’s not just here; the pendulum effect extends far beyond our own borders…

It was just a few months ago, despite insistent pronouncements of far-right trends, around the world, that my good friends in the United Kingdom elected a progressive Labor government, after 14 years of conservative, Tory rule; one replete with punishing austerity, belligerent xenophobia and polluted rivers and streams – not to mention the stupendous blunder known as Brexit (sorry my conservative fans – it’s been a disaster and everybody knows it).
And only last month, our neighbor to the south, Mexico – a country that, in pop culture, easily serves as a caricature of the word ‘macho’ – elected their first female – and Jewish – President, Claudia Sheinbaum Pardo. (Mazel Tov!)

And sure, sometimes it’s two steps ahead, one step back but, ultimately, we keep moving forward. (and, yeah, I know… sometimes it’s two or three steps back.)

So, if you’re frustrated as to why some of your elders appear less traumatized than you might expect, it’s not that they’re oblivious, or they don’t care – it’s that they’ve seen some version of this movie before. And they’ve seen the pendulum swing back, and forth – and back, again. It always does.

STATES’ RIGHTS – They have ’em!

The United States is a federal democratic republic – a union made up of fifty sovereign States – those twinkling stars on the flag. States’ Rights give individual States the right to pass and enforce laws and operate independently of, and with minimal interference by, the federal government.

The President doesn’t have absolute power – the States and local government have certain independent rights and control over their destiny, so long as those laws don’t violate the Constitution.

It’s true there’s an inevitable and ongoing tension between State and Federal law. In the past, States’ Rights were used as an excuse, in the south, to defend slavery; and subsequently to resist Civil Rights laws. More recently, that tension exists for hot-button topics such as gun control, cannabis and education.

The point is: States have real power to make laws and control their own destiny. Even if a federal abortion law were to pass next week – something that, at present, still remains highly unlikely, especially given the 2/3rds supermajority required – it would be extremely difficult to implement, given that a clear majority of the US population is in favor of those reproductive rights.

It’s worth noting that, since the over-ruling of Roe v. Wade, 21 States, plus the District of Columbia, have passed Abortion Rights Laws. And State Constitutional amendments to protect or expand abortion rights passed in seven of the 10 States, where they appeared on the ballot, in this past Tuesday, presidential election.

CALIFORNIA & NEW YORK – They’ve got the Benjamins! $$$$$$$$$$

The combined GDP of the two largest ‘blue’ States, California [$3.987 trillion] & New York [$2.226 trillion], is greater than the GDP of every country in the world, except the US and China.

United States – Country GDP $25.43 trillion
China – Country GDP $14.72 trillion
Japan – Country GDP $4.25 trillion
Germany – Country GDP $3.85 trillion
India – Country GDP $3.41 trillion
United Kingdom – Country GDP $2.67 trillion
France – Country GDP $2.63 trillion
Russia – Country GDP $2.24 trillion

I make this point to stress the fact (especially to family and friends that are residents) that living in those powerful ‘blue’ States offers a significant measure of protection against any kind of Federal overreach.

IT WAS JUST ANOTHER ‘CHANGE’ ELECTION – American voters are fickle.

It’s not outrageous to suggest that Tuesday’s election represented an inherent, but unconscious, racial and gender bias in the hearts and minds of a vast swath of the electorate. Those may well be significant factors as to what just happened. But the same Kamala Harris was elected Vice President four years ago, a significant first. It’s more likely that this was just another ordinary, run-of-the-mill ‘change’ election. And those happen all the time. Despite Biden’s rescue of a battered economy, his taming of inflation, a very real (but under-appreciated) economic recovery, and generally terrific financial stats, middle and lower class households are still hurting – feeling it in their pocketbooks and their wallets. They were angry. They were worried. They were desperate for change. Clichéd as it may be, the Ragin’ Cajun famous quote, ‘It’s the economy, stupid’, still holds true.

And if that’s true, then maybe, just maybe, all those people who voted for the orange guy are not necessarily a bunch of vile racists, women-haters, homophobes, and mean-spirited bullies. Maybe they were just afraid they couldn’t pay their rent or keep the lights turned on, and hoping against hope that ‘changing the channel’ might offer them some relief.

Which brings me to the next important point…

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Part 2

WHAT KIND OF CRAZY COUNTRY AM I LIVING IN? – And how could any sane, rational, decent person vote for such an obviously deranged excuse for a human being?

This is the toughest question to answer. Because it requires two incredibly difficult things: (1) honest self-reflection and (2) genuine empathy. (why on earth do they like him?)

What kind of country are we living in? Like people, countries are a complicated mix of both good and bad. Along with all of America’s real virtues – aspirations to equality, justice, liberty and freedom – we also possess negative traits that are difficult to admit to and impossible to deny. (bear with me) We’re especially adept at two things: killing and miraculous innovation. (each reinforcing the other in a strange feedback loop)

Those two talents – killing and innovation – are responsible for our still dominant (but gradually diminishing) position in the world. It’s how we settled this country in the first place, while slaughtering an indigenous population in the process. And it’s how we built a ‘New World’, or rather how we enslaved millions to build it for us.

The point is, our idyllic ‘way of life’ is contingent, almost solely contingent, on our ability to project military might (our talent for killing, enhanced by innovation) around the world, and in our own streets. That might is inextricably connected to our economic power. And the practical freedom that that economic power supplies is what makes it possible for us to innovate, invent, design, create. The internet, all media, all creative endeavors – science, music, art, writing, architecture, dance, cooking, sewing, every craft – they would still exist in a poor, peaceful country, but would all ultimately be subject to the whims of somebody else with more military power. Someone else like, oh, I don’t know… Russia?

What does this have to do with our latest election?

Simply that people who are struggling financially have a much more finely tuned sense of the bottom line – and where real power comes from – than people who are more comfortable (it’s also why they’re so fond of the the 2nd amendment, and their AK47’s). They’re scared and they hunger for protection, even if it’s from an odious asshole pretending to be a superhero. And they have a vague sense, a fuzzy recollection, that things seemed better at the beginning of his first term, prior to the pandemic – even if his results were tied to actions that made it easier to pollute the air, land and sea, and auction off our precious natural resources in return for short-term financial game.

HE’S THEIR SUPERHERO – he gets away with shit

That anger, fear and frustration, that’s spawned by difficult economic circumstances, makes people ripe for embracing a charismatic strongman.

And, of course, it’s not just economic. The same applies to folks who’ve suffered any type of hardship, trauma, or are feeling disenfranchised.

It’s doubly reinforced if that strongman has the innate sense to appeal to their feelings of being ignored, overlooked and disrespected.

And that’s the key to answering one of the most bewildering questions of this election: How is it possible that a population of millions of ordinary folks, anxious about their finances, can relate to – indeed, fall in love with – a spoiled, entitled virtual billionaire with a golden toilet seat, whose daddy gifted him hundreds of millions of dollars, over his lifetime?

It’s because he also feels disrespected. And they can see that. And they relate to it. They feel like ‘he gets them’.

Like Rodney Dangerfield, his recurring complaint is that he ‘gets no respect’. There are plenty of reasons for that, but I’d say the most fundamental is that, despite his boastful claims, he has no real education. To be clear, he’s not stupid – he’s just painfully uneducated – and insecure about it to boot. (Why else would he boast constantly, ad nauseum, about how great he is?)

Small wonder he loves the ‘uneducated’. They have no sense of history, or experience with critical thinking – or basic science, for that matter – and he’s well aware that if they buy his con-artist, 2nd rate comedian act, they’ll then be easily fooled by any other kind of inane nonsense he spouts.

And why not? Here I am blithely making supposedly informed pronouncements about a huge demographic segment of my fellow countrymen/women for merely lacking a higher education (something that holds questionable value, these days) – I’m sure they’d be thrilled to hear that. How could it not sound condescending? How would they not feel disrespected?

And, of course, if follows… why wouldn’t they relate to him? Aside from his money, he truly is one of them. Well, except for the fact that his money also lets him get away with almost any violation of the social order, criminal and civil law, and general civility without any real consequences. And what could be better? That’s a huge part of what makes him so appealing. He’s a hero because he, basically, gets away with anything; and that’s one of the things they love about him. Who wouldn’t want that power of unaccountability, of Supreme immunity?!

All of those character traits are supercharged exponentially by something as obvious as celebrity. (“When you’re a celebrity, they let you…”) After decades of TV and print, they feel like they really know him. Depressingly, we all do, now – whether we like it or not. It’s worth noting that the false intimacy of celebrity might very well be the single most important factor in determining this election. Kamala had four months. He had decades. If you’re skeptical of that idea – the sheer power of celebrity – ask former Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, ask former Governor Jesse Ventura, ask the ghosts of former President Ronald Reagan and former Congressman Sonny Bono.

WE ALL HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF HYPOCRITE IN US – Even us liberals

Impossible, you say? Try this thought experiment.

On July 13th the news reported a failed assassination attempt on the Republican candidate for President. Did you think to yourself (a) damn, too bad they missed! One inch to the right and we could have avoided this god-awful mess; or (b) whew! good thing they missed, or we’d be facing an never-ending, escalating spiral of political violence in this country.

Go ahead, be honest – what were your initial thoughts?

I’ll tell you my initial reactions: frankly, my first thought was (a) and then, only after a several minutes of seriously contemplating the inevitable real-world consequences, I opted, reluctantly for (b).

If you were forthright enough to answer (a) or even toying with the idea of (a), then you’re admitting – like it or not – that you condone murder; that you’re not truly married to the cherished, democratic idea of a ‘peaceful transfer of power’, that you’re cool with ‘whatever it takes’ to achieve your political goals. And if that’s the case, how can you ever criticize any Republican for condoning the despicable behavior of their chosen candidate? Because, in truth, I would venture that a significant percentage of us share that instinct, would be willing to break any rule (or approve of someone else doing it), to spare our loved ones, our country, the risk of an unchecked, unrepentant demigod prone to the use of violence – even the peaceable among us. If you’re in denial about that, you just might be a hypocrite.

All I’m saying is we might like to think we’re better than them, we might even behave with more civility; but when the stakes are high, we all have the capacity to do what we think is necessary, when defending our tribe, our way of life. That’s how civil wars begin. And that’s why it’s necessary to be honest with ourselves about not only who they are, but who we are – in order to prevent that violence from actually happening.

It’s not easy trying to understand the other side, but in order to make any sense of the world today, we must at least try.

Honest self-reflection and empathy are entangled, because if we can’t admit our own failings, our own susceptibility to bias and misinformation, even our own capacity for self-delusion and violence, then we’ll be unable to recognize and forgive it in others. If we can achieve even a little of that, it will go a long way to making us feel better, slightly less horrified and more able to go on functioning day to day, while the world appears to be falling apart (even if it actually is ;-).

Which brings me to…

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Part 3

THE NEWS – and the lying liars on both sides of the lying aisle (but mostly on theirs).

[Note: if after reading all the way to this point, you’re still wondering what the hell the point actually is, let me remind you that you won’t feel any better until you understand how profoundly your emotions were manipulated, even by the folks you love like, say, the wonderful and brilliant Rachel Maddow, one of my favorite news hosts and always informative commentators.]

I get most of my news from MSNBC, the New York Times and the Washington Post (shame on you Jeff Bezos for putting your dumb rocket ships above the integrity of your venerable newspaper). But I also make a concerted effort to occasionally dial in Fox News, and even Newsmax, to get the other side’s perspective, and get a glimpse of what sort of parallel information-universe they’re dwelling in.

Now, all news, today, is ultimately a commercial/entertainment venture. If they don’t get ratings, they don’t sell ads – and the screen goes dark. So, it’s expected that even the most dedicated news show is going to indulge in a bit of hyperbole – ‘if it bleeds it leads’ is a familiar axiom. But just to be clear, and in MSNBC’s and Rachel’s defense, MSNBC was never forced to pay a $787 million settlement for knowingly peddling false election information – FOX NEWS was! In other words, there’s no comparison between liberal and conservative media when it comes to veracity and honesty in reporting the news. Fox lies outright. MSNBC makes a concerted effort not to.

But here’s the painful truth. Every time liberal media reported on some apparent stumble, or ridiculous statement, or portrayed DT as an idiot, as stupid, as a bumbling fool, it made for an entertaining story – but it was a lie. As I wrote earlier, he’s nowhere near stupid – he’s simply woefully uneducated, but innately clever, with a fine-tuned instinct for what makes people react. The long-running problem is that by portraying him as a simpleton the news left us unprepared for how effectively he was able to manage what seemed an unlikely comeback.

Similarly, every time liberal media reported on some scandalous remark, offensive jibe or disgusting attack the implication was, ‘Oh my! How could any sane, decent person possibly support such abusive, abhorrent behavior in someone campaigning to be the leader of the free world?” Like a car crash it made headlines, got clicks, captured eyeballs – but it was a lie. The more accurate story should have been: he’s doing a 2nd rate, over-the-edge, stand-up comedy routine, and while we may find it repulsive, his core audience knows he’s mostly goofing around, being provocative, being ‘himself’ – and they love it! Again, by reporting and then portraying such aberrant behavior as ‘beyond the pale’ – i.e. outside the bounds of acceptable behavior, the news only served to (a) give him more undeserved airtime and (b) reinforced our own revulsion at his supporters delight in his antics – and, as a result, demonizing those supporters in our minds. Better yet, they could have elected not to show it at all. Just because something is provocative, doesn’t make it worthwhile news.

So, why does all of this matter? It matters because if we, you, all of us still hurting from the shock of this election had possessed a clearer more accurate understanding of the true dynamics at play, leading up to this election, we might have been better prepared, the shock would have had less impact, it would have been less wrenching, less traumatic.

Most of his supporters and cohorts are not monsters; though, admittedly, a very few may well be, and he definitely is – a broken, needy, destructive and vengeful miscreant, a bad actor who should have been stopped in his tracks, long ago. But we’re past that.

I few paragraphs ago, I raised the idea of forgiveness, which can only come with understanding, which is only possible with some measure of empathy. Though difficult, if achieved, even a little, it has the benefit of lessening the fracture, the sense that half the country has lost their minds and must be irredeemably racist, stubbornly misogynistic and, in extreme cases, inherently evil. Because if you’re able to conclude that that’s not entirely true, it can help to lesson your own terror at what seems inexplicable. It can help to dispel confusion and calm emotions.

This missive went on much longer than intended but I was hoping to suggest some hopefully helpful ideas, and a way of making sense of all this craziness in order to mitigate the fear and unease.

It doesn’t change the fact that we still have to find some way, over the next 1,460 days, to live healthy, happy, productive lives, in spite of the creaky wheel of history turning noisily in the background. It’s not just necessary – it’s crucial.

I’ll end with what I believe to be the most important and urgent appeal in light of all that I’ve described and all that’s transpired. And it’s one of the main things that motivated me to sit down and write this letter.

Over the past few days, since the election, I’ve heard from more than one person in my extended circle of family and friends, saying that they’ve spoken with a young person who, in reaction to the profoundly disturbing news of the election, has expressed a genuine and powerful reluctance to bring a child into this world, during these frightening times.

This pains me to hear, more than I can say. One, because it’s completely understandable. And two, because, to my mind, such a decision would be the most tragic consequence of an already tragic confluence of circumstances. It would also be tantamount to a complete and total surrender and submission to the hypocritical, far-right zealots who believe they have a god-given right to control women’s bodies, supposedly in the name of the unborn, while cheerfully supporting easy access to military grade weapons responsible for massacring hundreds of ‘living’ children a year in their homes and classrooms.

Life – however and whenever you choose to define it – is precious and, at the same time, the very act of living is filled with danger, and – surprise! surprise! – ultimately, deadly. What makes it bearable from beginning to end are those ineffable virtues: hope, faith and love (and apple cider donuts from Stuarts Farm). Without them, our time on Earth is doomed to be a dreary chore, absent any meaning, and devoid of happiness. Babies are a miracle and a blessing and, despite the political backdrop greeting their arrival, are inexplicably able to spread joy (and many sleepless nights) by their mere presence.

And forgive the calculated nature of the following, but from a strictly strategic political point of view, even as the overall birth-rate in our country (and around the world) continues to decline, it’s worth noting that Republicans have a slightly higher birth-rate than Democrats. Now, I’m not proposing Dems start popping out babies willy-nilly to win elections in the future but… well, come to think of it, maybe I am.

To get very real here (and to court an inevitably hostile reader response), one of the sources of conflict, today, in Israel, is the disproportionate control the extreme, fundamentalist religious-right enjoys in the government. Oct 7 was an indescribably horrific event – as is the, by now, too extreme and ultimately counterproductive and ineffective response to it. But there’s a reasonable case to be made that circumstances would never have gotten to that point, in the first place, were it not for the unholy alliance between Netanyahu and the ultra-orthodox parties. And one guess as to how they acquired all that political power?

Yeah, having lotsa babies. Lots and lots of babies! 😉

And, forgive me, but as strange as it might sound, that’s exactly the same strategy the extreme religious right, here in America, are actively engaged in. Just listen to them. They say it openly. And they’re not shy about it.

So, to any young families weighing the pros and cons of family planning, I would say this: don’t ever let Donald Trump and his religious allies tell you when you can, or can’t – or must – have a baby. And, for goodness sakes, don’t let him frighten you away from having one in the first place, if that’s something you choose to do.

Apologies if this complicated, but earnest, analysis only added to the confusion of the last few days. What I meant to say was this:

Trump is a once-in-a-lifetime aberration, most Americans, despite our shared history of violence, are good, decent people (even if they harbor unconscious racial and gender biases, and are fickle voters by nature), States have rights (especially NY & California), all news media engage in distorting reality to a degree (some way much more than others), and we’re all susceptible to it. And, finally, try to relax, take a long walk, breathe the air, play with your pets (please don’t eat ’em!), talk to your friends… those 1,460 days are going to fly by before you know it!

Then, all we’ll have to worry about is climate change, Artificial Intelligence, and what to finally do about Elon Musk. (My proposal: appoint him ambassador to Mars – make him King of Mars, if that’s what it takes – but bundle him onto one of his own rockets and get him off the planet ASAP!)

I’ll wrap this up with an appropriate quote – it’s a meme so I can’t give fair attribution to the author, but it makes a relevant point. The midterms are only two years away; so, if you’re troubled and disturbed by what’s just come to pass…

‘Grab ’em by the ballot box! When you’re a voter, they let you do it!’

Be well, everybody. Be safe and be hopeful.

Peace, Love and Understanding!

(nothin’ funny ’bout that – with due credit to Nick Lowe)

Dean Friedman is a multimedia artist/producer/author with numerous hit records to his credit – Ariel, Lucky Stars, Lydia, McDonald’s Girl, etc… He’s also developed Virtual Reality video games for Nickelodeon TV and Musical Playgrounds for children’s museums around the world. He also refuses to shut up, stop talking about politics, and just write songs. Visit his website www.DeanFriedman.com for his 2025 tour dates, and check out some of the songs posted in the article!