The United States Supreme Court, in its second attempt to make Scalia’s head explode in two days, has discovered that gays and lesbians are “people” and therefore protected by the 14th Amendment’s equal protection clause which prohibits discrimination against any person.

So it’s official. No more gay marriage in America. From now on, there are only marriages.

Religious conservatives across the country are now screaming about “judicial activism” and claiming that the court ruled against the will of the people, completely ignoring the fact that the majority of Americans support marriage equality these days.  (Hey kids! Today’s challenge: Find a conservative that complained about the Citizen’s United decision which definitely went against what the majority of Americans wanted!)

Half of the fun of decisions like this are reading Scalia’s dissents, which contradict previous decisions he’s made and read less like a learned treatise from a Supreme Court Justice and more like your drunk uncle at Thanksgiving: “Who ever thought that intimacy and spirituality (whatever that means) were freedoms? And if intimacy is, one would think Freedom of Intimacy is abridged rather than expanded by marriage. Ask the nearest hippie.”

Pure comedy gold. And so, so satisfying to those of us who love to see this freedom-hater lose.

So now I can stop posting “such-and-such state enters the 21st century” whenever a new state embraced marriage equality. And I, for one, am thrilled.