Surgeon General

Today, the Senate finally approved Obama’s Surgeon General candidate who had been held up because he had the audacity to say that maybe shooting people isn’t good for their health. That made the NRA say no, and as we all know, the NRA takes precedence over logic and reason any day.

Might have been nice to have him back when there was the Ebola scare, huh? Back when Republicans were arguing that Obama had no one in charge while simultaneously stopping him from having someone in charge? Fortunately, the election ended and Ebola disappeared because Fox News and the Republicans didn’t need to scare anyone any more. Hooray! Everyone was saved!

Well, they finally approved him, because there was really no reason not to. The guy is very qualified.

So here’s to your health.

Why isn’t the Surgeon General doing something about this whole ebola mess? Fox News wants to know!

Oh, right — the Republicans have been refusing to confirm Obama’s nominee for half a year or so now, because he had the nerve to say that maybe we should have background checks for guns and then we might not have as many people dying from gunshot wounds.

How dare he! Why would we want someone as Surgeon General who wants to protect people from dying?

Why, do you realize how radical such a view is? It’s a view only shared by the vast majority of Americans and the majority of NRA members, and which mirrors positions taken by the American Medical Association, the American Academy of Pediatrics, and the American College of Emergency Physicians.

As we all know from our basic government classes, the Surgeon General has supreme power over our country, and can write laws to take away everyone’s guns and enforce these laws with his leagues of stethoscope-wearing minions.

So Republicans (who also cut the budget for the Center for Disease Control) are now whining that the government they keep trying to kill is unable to do anything, because we should always be mad at a corpse for not accomplishing anything.