The right-wing’s aversion to facts has long been documented (with facts). From denial of climate change and evolution to false claims about Planned Parenthood to a refusal to acknowledge the improving economy, the one thing that is consistent with current conservative thought is an aversion to truth when it contradicts their already-held views.
cartoon by Kevin Siers
The latest involves sexual identity. Let’s face it, they’ve never quite understood sex anyway — probably due to their religious views. But now they’re convinced that children are in danger because of something that has been going on forever and has never caused a problem before: Trans people using the bathroom for the sex they identify with.
Why is this suddenly an issue? They’ve been doing this for generations and no one can find a single example of a trans person abusing anyone in a bathroom. (Oh, there’s probably an example out there somewhere that someone will eventually find; statistically speaking, it’s possible. But one out of how many billions of bathroom visits? You’re much more likely to be abused by a Catholic priest or a Republican Congressman* but no one is writing laws preventing them from using bathrooms.)
That doesn’t stop the right from screaming about it and pointing out examples of men who have abused children in bathrooms — men who do not identify as women in the slightest.
The fact is (Oh there I go again, relying on “facts”), chances are you’ve shared a bathroom with a trans person already but didn’t know it because — here’s the key — the person identifies as the proper sex for that bathroom. They look like the sex they identify with. That’s the point.
If you abuse someone in a bathroom or harass them or peek at them, you’re committing a crime and it doesn’t matter whether you’re trans or not. These laws trying to discriminate against trans people do absolutely nothing to stop that. Their only purpose is to once again make sex that conservatives don’t understand illegal.
*That was another fact, just in case you didn’t recognize it.
The annual White House Correspondent’s Dinner allows the President to throw some barbs at himself and the press and is a good time to observe a President’s sense of humor first hand. Known jokingly as the “nerd prom” it gets bigger and bigger every year. And every year, I love posting the President’s best jokes. (Click here for the 2015 list, 2014 list, and the 2013 list). There are some sigh gag jokes that are not in the transcript below, so you really should just watch the video.
Good evening, everybody. It is an honor to be here at my last — and perhaps the last — White House Correspondents’ Dinner.
You all look great. The end of the Republic has never looked better.
I do apologize — I know I was a little late tonight. I was running on C.P.T. — which stands for “jokes that white people should not make.”
Anyway, here we are. My eighth and final appearance at this unique event. And I am excited. If this material works well, I’m going to use it at Goldman Sachs next year. Earn me some serious Tubmans.
Next year at this time, someone else will be standing here in this very spot, and it’s anyone’s guess who she will be. But standing here, I can’t help but be reflective, a little sentimental. Eight years ago, I was a young man, full of idealism and vigor, and look at me now. I am gray and grizzled, just counting down the days ’til my death panel.
For months now congressional Republicans have been saying there are things I cannot do in my final year. You know who you are, Republicans. Security, bar the doors! Judge Merrick Garland, come on out, we’re going to do this right here, right now. It’s like “The Red Wedding.”
Yet, somehow, despite all this, despite the churn, in my final year, my approval ratings keep going up. The last time I was this high, I was trying to decide on my major.
Anyway, in this last year I do have more appreciation for those who have been with me on this amazing ride, like one of our finest public servants, Joe Biden. I love Joe Biden, I really do. And I want to thank him for his friendship, for his counsel, for always giving it to me straight, for not shooting anybody in the face.
I also would like to acknowledge some of the award-winning reporters that we have with us here tonight. Rachel McAdams. Mark Ruffalo. Liev Schreiber. Thank you all for everything that you’ve done. I’m just joking. As you know, “Spotlight” is a film, a movie about investigative journalists with the resources and the autonomy to chase down the truth and hold the powerful accountable. Best fantasy film since Star Wars.
Sitting at the same table, I see Mike Bloomberg. Mike, a combative, controversial New York billionaire is leading the GOP primary and it is not you. That’s has to sting a little bit. Although it’s not an entirely fair comparison between you and the Donald. After all, Mike was a big-city mayor. He knows policy in depth. And he’s actually worth the amount of money that he says he is.
What an election season. For example, we’ve got the bright new face of the Democratic Party here tonight –- Mr. Bernie Sanders! Bernie, you look like a million bucks. Or to put it in terms you’ll understand, you look like 37,000 donations of 27 dollars each.
A lot of folks have been surprised by the Bernie phenomenon, especially his appeal to young people. But not me, I get it. Just recently, a young person came up to me and said she was sick of politicians standing in the way of her dreams. As if we were actually going to let Malia go to Burning Man this year.
Look, I’ve said how much I admire Hillary’s toughness, her smarts, her policy chops, her experience. You’ve got to admit it, though, Hillary trying to appeal to young voters is a little bit like your relative just signed up for Facebook. “Dear America, did you get my poke?” “Is it appearing on your wall?” “I’m not sure I am using this right. Love, Aunt Hillary.”
Meanwhile, on the Republican side, things are a little more — how should we say this — a little “more loose.” Just look at the confusion over the invitations to tonight’s dinner. Guests were asked to check whether they wanted steak or fish, but instead, a whole bunch of you wrote in Paul Ryan.
Well, let me conclude tonight on a more serious note. I want to thank the Washington press corps, I want to thank Carol for all that you do. The free press is central to our democracy, and — nah, I’m just kidding! You know I’ve got to talk about Trump! Come on! We weren’t just going to stop there.
The Republican establishment is incredulous that he is their most likely nominee — incredulous, shocking. They say Donald lacks the foreign policy experience to be President. But, in fairness, he has spent years meeting with leaders from around the world: Miss Sweden, Miss Argentina, Miss Azerbaijan.
And there’s one area where Donald’s experience could be invaluable -– and that’s closing Guantanamo. Because Trump knows a thing or two about running waterfront properties into the ground.
So I want to close my final White House Correspondents’ Dinner by just saying thank you. I’m very proud of what you’ve done. It has been an honor and a privilege to work side by side with you to strengthen our democracy.
And with that, I just have two more words to say -– Obama out. (Drops microphone. No, seriously, he literally dropped the microphone.)
Attorney General Lynch made it quite clear that not only will she do her duty to serve the United States Constitution, but that our government is on the side of the Good Guys, fighting against those who would take away the rights of others.
Her speech against the bigotry we are seeing in North Carolina and elsewhere was wonderful, and I just have to include a few quotes here:
This action is about a great deal more than just bathrooms. This is about the dignity and respect we accord our fellow citizens and the laws that we, as a people and as a country, have enacted to protect them – indeed, to protect all of us. And it’s about the founding ideals that have led this country – haltingly but inexorably – in the direction of fairness, inclusion and equality for all Americans.
This is a time to summon our national virtues of inclusivity, diversity, compassion and open-mindedness. What we must not do – what we must never do – is turn on our neighbors, our family members, our fellow Americans, for something they cannot control, and deny what makes them human.
What this law does is inflict further indignity on a population that has already suffered far more than its fair share. This law provides no benefit to society – all it does is harm innocent Americans.
Let me also speak directly to the transgender community itself. No matter how isolated or scared you may feel today, the Department of Justice and the entire Obama Administration wants you to know that we see you; we stand with you; and we will do everything we can to protect you going forward. Please know that history is on your side. This country was founded on a promise of equal rights for all, and we have always managed to move closer to that promise, little by little, one day at a time. It may not be easy – but we’ll get there together.
Conservatives are aghast, of course, because Big Government is interfering with their right to treat other people as if they are inferior because their god fears them in bathrooms or something. These conservatives are in favor of “state’s rights” and “limited government” only when they agree with what is being done. When it comes to personal liberties such as the right to get married or gay rights or abortion — well, government just can’t be intrusive enough.
“It’s a public safety issue,” they say, as their nose grows to Pinocchio lengths. “Well, no, there have been absolutely zero cases of this happening, but — but — public safety!”
Hey you know what is a real threat to public safety, unlike this pretend threat? One that actually causes deaths on a daily basis? Letting people carry guns everywhere. Yeah, fat chance that they’ll do anything about that public safety issue.
We all know it’s not about public safety. It’s about damned religious aversion to any kind of sex — the same kind of idiotic view that wants to keep people in love from getting married because it creeps their god out.
There’s a new meme out there against Hillary Clinton which is full of lies, false quotes, and misleading information but that’s nothing new. (You can read about it on Snopes if you wish). The part that bothers me is this:
It criticizes her for representing a criminal when she was a young defense attorney and calls her an “advocate for rapists.”
Conservatives who say things like that are hypocrites who say they love America while hating one of the very reasons the Founding Fathers fought the revolution: To rebel against a government that ignored basic rights. They put those rights in the first Ten Amendments: The right to counsel, the right to remain silent, the right to not be searched without a warrant and probable cause, the right to be free from cruel and unusual punishment — more than half of the Bill of Rights are about criminal rights.
And what’s to prevent the government from abusing these rights? Why, it’s defense attorneys.
But when we hold police responsible for illegal searches or argue that our clients’ rights are being abused, what do people say? “Oh, he got off on a technicality.” Yes, a technicality called the United States Constitution — the very foundation of our nation.
This is like the people who demand that freedom of speech be denied to speech they disagree with while defending that same right for themselves. Our freedoms are meaningless if they don’t apply to everyone, even people we hate.
Look, most of the people I represent are guilty of something. 95% of all cases end up with a plea. My job is to make sure that the innocent are defended and the guilty don’t have their rights denied or otherwise get screwed by the system.
This is patriotic. This is exactly what the Founding Fathers intended. This is what makes America great — that we, the people, can stand up to a powerful government that does wrong and can win without resorting to violence.
To imply that a defense attorney performing his or her job “supports crime” is an insult not just to attorneys, but to all Americans.
Republican Leaders: “Republicans aren’t stupid enough to nominate Donald Trump.”
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