The Christmas Story Today

Mike Peters

Another Sham Grand Jury

Is anyone really shocked that a DA persuaded yet another grand jury not to indict a police officer?

You can blame the jurors but I think the blame lies squarely on the DA’s shoulders, because Grand Juries are basically scams that allow the DA to subvert the system.

Most people don’t know what a Grand Jury is, so let’s clear that up first.*

There is a huge difference between a Grand Jury and a jury.  A jury is selected by a prosecutor and a defense attorney, who question each potential juror and have the right to remove any they think are possibly biased.  Then a trial that is open to the public is held. Both sides present evidence and witnesses. Both sides can cross examine and challenge anything the other side does.  A judge is presegrandjurynt to make sure it all runs fairly.  Both sides then give closing arguments summarizing their version of what happened.  And in order to find guilt, the jury needs  to be unanimous and convinced “beyond a reasonable doubt.”

A Grand Jury is none of those things. A Grand Jury is a group of citizens who have not been questioned about possible bias. A Grand Jury hearing is closed and secret and not open to the public. The DA presents whatever evidence he wants to without the worry that a defense attorney may cross-examine his witnesses or challenge his evidence. There is only one side presented. There is no judge. And then the only question the jurors have is whether there is enough evidence to send it to a real jury to determine guilt or innocence.

That is a very low burden to meet, which is why 99.99999% of all Grand Juries result in an indictment.

It would be much better if we didn’t call these things Grand Juries, because people hear “jury” and they think “trial.” There is no trial in a Grand Jury.

They’re scams. If a DA wants the Grand Jury to indict, he introduces only that evidence that supports his side and ignores all the evidence that does not. If the DA wants the Grand Jury not to indict, he does the opposite.

President of the Pennsylvania Association of Criminal Defense Lawyers (and friend) Jim Swetz pointed this out:  Former New York state Chief Judge Sol Wachtler famously remarked that a prosecutor could persuade a grand jury to “indict a ham sandwich.” The data suggests he was barely exaggerating: According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics, U.S. attorneys prosecuted 162,000 federal cases in 2010, the most recent year for which we have data. Grand juries declined to return an indictment in 11 of them.

So if a DA does not get an indictment, it pretty much means he had no intention of getting one — making the whole thing a political farce, done so he can fool people who don’t understand what a Grand Jury is to think that “justice was done.”

In every other country and in many of the states, Grand Juries are no longer used. And for good reason.

If the purpose is to determine whether there is enough evidence to bring a case forward, it’s much better to have a preliminary hearing instead, open to the public, where evidence can be challenged by a defense attorney and reviewed by an independent judge.

But DAs like Grand Juries because it gives them an advantage.

It allows them to put witnesses on the stand, under oath, without having to deal with defense attorneys objecting or judges stopping them from asking questions they are not supposed to be asking. And then they have advance notice of what witnesses will say at the preliminary hearing and at the trial. If a witness changes his or her testimony, the DA can whip out the transcript of the Grand Jury and impeach their testimony. It’s also a great way to grab up a bunch of suspects, get them under oath, and force them to testify so you can figure out who to charge for the main crime and who to charge with conspiracy.  (Note:  Defense lawyers are allowed to attend but can only advise their clients not to speak; we can’t object to questions or cross-examine.)

The rules here in Pennsylvania allow DAs to hold onto those transcripts of the preliminary hearing and not show the defense attorneys until the actual literal last minute. Seriously. I had a trial a while ago that lasted three weeks and after one of my witnesses took the stand, then the DA had to give me a copy of the transcript from the Grand Jury that he was going to use to impeach her during his cross-examination. The trial stopped for an hour while I and the other defense counsel rushed through reading it so we could “prepare.” No wonder DAs like that!

Grand Juries are a waste of taxpayer time and money, harking back to old English common law, predating the Constitution and the rights we usually take for granted (such as open hearings and the right to cross-examine).

Here’s what you need to remember: A Grand Jury is not an adversarial proceeding. It’s a government activity, run completely by the government. And in too many cases involving police abuses, the government investigated the government and decided that the government did nothing wrong.

And that should make everyone mad, liberal or conservative.

*Much of today’s post is copied from previous posts about Grand Juries, so forgive me for that

Editorial cartoon: (Almost) All Lives Matter!

Matt Bors

Man who thrusts kids into public angry that kids pushed into public

Ted Cruz used his young daughters as political props in a campaign ad recently, as they read from a script and said exactly what he wanted them to say.

Pulitzer Prize-winning cartoonist Ann Telnaes then portrayed him as a monkey grinder, having his pets perform for his benefit.telnaes gif

“Ourageous!” the Cruz people said.  “Kids are off limits!” The Washington Post backed down and pulled the cartoon from their web page and apologized.

Telnaes did not. Good for her.

Individuals deserve their privacy, even if they are married to politicians and especially if they are children. But if you thrust yourself into the spotlight, you cannot later complain about it.

If Ted Cruz is mad about his kids being lampooned, then the only person he has to blame is himself for allowing their privacy to be violated.

Telnaes’ fellow cartoonists have been largely supportive, with the best quote coming from Clay Jones: “The cartoonist didn’t expose them. Daddy did. Daddy is a hypocrite. Daddy is upset that someone exploited his children to make fun of him exploiting his children.”

Below are Jones’ and a few other cartoonists’ takes on it, in the best way they know how:

Clay Jones:

Clay Bennett:

Rob Rogers:

Darrin Bell:

Editorial cartoon: Performing monkeys

telnaes

Ann Telnaes

Bohemian Christmas Tree

Is this a real tree?freddie santa
Is this the plastic type?
It doesn’t matter
As long as it’s one that Santa likes
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see
Are those some sleigh bells?
Is that a reindeer noise?
Because I really can’t wait no more
Christmas Eve is at store
Anyway the sky snows
Doesn’t really matter to me
To me

Mama, I’ll say again
I just can’t go to bed
Santa’s coming in his sled
Mama, the night has just begun
I must stay up to greet him when he comes
Mama, ooh
Got some cookies and some milk
I’m just gonna sit by the fireplace and watch
Carry on, carry on
That’s all that really matters

It’s late, his time has come
Are those sleigh bells that I hear?
Does that mean that Santa’s near?
Listen everybody — are those reindeer hoofs?
Prancing all around on top the roof?
Mama, ooh (Anyway the sky snows)
I don’t want to sleep
I sometimes wish I’d never need sleep at all

I see a fat silhouetto of a man
Santa Claus, Santa Claus, Coming out from the chimney
He’s got a bag wherefore
I think something’s there for me
Dasher, Dancer (Prancer, Vixen)
Comet, Cupid (Donner, Blitzen)
With a package just for me – A nintendo?

I’m just a poor boy hoping for a gift or two
He’s just a poor boy with a lot of gratitude
We’re just the chorus pleading for his case

Here’s a cookie for you, would you like some milk?
Kris Kringle! Should be in bed I know
Kris Kringle! Should not be up I know
Kris Kringle! I broke the rules I know
Broke the rules I know
Don’t throw me in the snow
Into the snow
Ho ho ho ho HO HO HO!
Oh please Santa oh please Santa
Oh please Santa let me go
Saint Nicholas has a Krampus put aside for me
For me
For me

So you think you can stay up and act like a spy?
So you think you can be a bad boy and get by?
Oh Timmy
This just will not do, Timmy
You’re getting coal
You’re getting coal in your stocking

Nothing really matters
Just Krampus and me
Nothing really matters
I’m a prisoner for eternity

Anyway the sky snows

Editorial cartoon: Helmets of the Dark Side

Matt Davies

Jesus, Santa, and Hermione Granger: All white!

Here we go again.

It was only last year that Megyn Kelly from Fox News was insisting that not only is Santa Claus white (despite being based on St. Nicholas, who was from modern-day Turkey) but so is Jesus (who was a Jewish lad from the middle east).

This Christmas, people are complaining that a new play about the Harry Potter gang is wrong because it casts Hermione as a black woman.

Ron, Hermione, and Harry as adults.  Look, they got the teeth right.

Ron, Hermione, and Harry as adults. Look, they got the teeth right.

Hello? Hermione is fictional! She’s a made-up people! She doesn’t really exist! (And anyway, J.K. Rowling pointed out that at no time is Hermione’s race mentioned in the books — only that she has “brown eyes and frizzy hair.” And then “large front teeth.” And there’s another mention in a later book that talks about her “looking brown.” Seriously.)

Not all of the complaints about this are from racist bigots. Sometimes the biggest complainers are the fanboys who get an idea in their heads and decide that X version of a fictional character is the only one possible, and any variation is blasphemy. “Superman can’t be black!” they scream, ignoring the fact that Superman isn’t even human — he could be green and polka dotted (although that might make his secret identity a bit tougher to hide).

Sometimes the race of a character matters in a fictional story. I’m currently working on a steampunk novel featuring Teddy Roosevelt. The main character is a black woman, and that is very important to the plotline, since the story takes place at a time when neither women nor blacks had any real power.

But Hermione? Why not? Isn’t one of the biggest themes in the Harry Potter novel about how we should accept people for who they are and not discriminate? The bad guys were all concerned with “purity of blood,” remember? Isn’t it obvious that the race of their fellow students didn’t matter to the Potter gang? Before hooking up with Ginny, Harry had dates with Cho Chang (Chinese ancestry) and Pavarti Patil (Indian ancestry), right? And didn’t Rowlings have a pretty diverse cast (well, for something taking place in England)? Okay, enough — my inner nerd is escaping.

Re-interpretations of fictional works happen all the time. Geez, look at how many times Shakespeare is done in a new way. Fictional characters can change race and sex and everything.

Which, coincidentally, brings me to another book I am editing now: Alternate Sherlocks — a collection of short stories featuring some pretty well-known authors — with Sherlock Holmes in new versions: as a female child, as an alien, as a vampire, as a parrot …

I sure hope that the speciests don’t come after me for that one.

 

Editorial cartoon: Stopping Anti-American Propaganda

Rob Rogers

Republicans want to kill Aladdin!

According to a new poll from PPP, 30% of Republicans favor bombing Agrabah.

As any Disney fan will tell you, Agrabah is the completely fictional made-up country where Aladdin lives. But hey, it sounds Muslim and if there’s one thing Republicans love, it’s bombing things, even when they don’t have a reason to do so. aladdin

I am not making this up.

These are the people who are supporting another cartoon character named Donald Trump for president. These are the people who are willfully stupid and proud of it.

There are other revealing results in this poll which are just as disturbing:

  • 28% support the policy of putting Japanese Americans in concentration camps during WW II
  • 46% support a national database for all American Muslims
  • 54% support banning all Muslims from entering the United States
  • 36% believe Trump’s lie that thousands of Muslims in New Jersey cheered after 9/11

On the other hand, even the most conservative among us believe in reasonable gun control (despite what the NRA tells you):

  • 79% support a criminal background check for anyone wanting to buy a firearm
  • 80% support preventing anyone on a terrorist watch list from buying a firearm

Bottom line: We’re dealing with a party that has been taken over by bigots who believe lies and hate the United States Constitution. And they seem quite proud of it, too.