There has been a huge cry from People Who Would Never Vote For Hillary In A Million Years over this new email scandal which involves … well, I’m not exactly sure. Apparently, Hillary Clinton used her own personal emails for her own personal business.
You can see why this makes her unqualified for the Presidency. That was sarcasm.
Seriously, this is the kind of “scandal” that appeals only to Republicans who are searching for anything they can be outraged about. You remember Republicans — they’re the ones who yawned when millions of legitimate governmental emails mysteriously disappeared in the Bush administration during an investigation, which seems clearly to be a violation of the law. Hillary’s email problem, according to these Republicans, is much different. Hillary violated an internal policy. Sure, it’s not the same thing as actually breaking the law, but it’s at least as serious as not abiding by the Employee’s Handbook.
This is the kind of thing that is really only understood by nerds anyway. I mean that with no disrespect, but not using the right email? There’s nothing sexy about that “scandal.” No one cares.
As Democratic consultant Paul Begala said, “Voters do not give a shit. They do not even give a fart … Find me one persuadable voter who agrees with HRC on the issues but will vote against her because she has a non-archival-compliant email system and I’ll kiss your ass in Macy’s window and say it smells like roses.”
Stop it, seriously. It doesn’t work, and you’re making yourself look foolish.
Using anecdotal evidence to support your argument is a popular but wrong way to win a debate. Examples would include: 
I know a guy who wasn’t wearing a seat belt in an accident and he came out better than if he had been wearing one, so therefore seat belts are bad.
I personally have experienced and met people on welfare who are lazy bums abusing the system, so therefore most people on welfare are like that.
My insurance rates went up, so therefore Obamacare is terrible because it requires insurance rates to go up.
It’s been the coldest month ever, so therefore there is no global warming.
I had a flu shot but still got the cold, so therefore vaccinations don’t work.
I know some (insert ethnicity/sex/sexual orientation/religion here) who are (insert insulting description here) so therefore they are all (insert insulting description here).
See where this leads? Is this the kind of argument you want to be making? Aren’t you smarter than that?
Nothing is 100%. Seat belts are good only 99% of the time. Vaccinations don’t stop diseases in every single instance. The vast majority of people on food stamps are not cheats and they really need them.
The next time you do this, I am going to point to you and say, “This person is an idiot based on the anecdotal evidence I am seeing in their most recent post.”
And hopefully, you’ll get the irony.
* Note: I mostly made this post so that I can link people to it whenever they try to make that sort of argument. Feel free to do the same.
Often after I attack Fox News for lying, some supporter points out that it is #1 in the ratings of news networks.
So what?
More people eat at McDonald’s than fine restaurants. More listen to Justin Beiber than Elvis Costello. More view reality shows than documentaries. More watched the latest “Transformers” movie than all of last year’s Oscar-winning films combined. 
More read “50 Shades of Gray” than “Bloodsuckers: A Vampire Runs for President.” (See what I did there?)
Using popularity to legitimize the worth of something is a weak argument. Yes, sometimes the most popular thing really is very good, but simply appealing to the majority doesn’t guarantee that.
And it certainly doesn’t mean it’s true. A large percentage of Americans also believe in astrology, ghosts, and various gods … that doesn’t mean they’re real.
I should also point out that the average age of a Fox News viewer is 68.8. MSNBC is only slightly lower, at 62.5. That’s because a majority of Americans don’t watch 24-hour news channels, and many get their news these days from the internet.
Further, Fox viewers are overwhelmingly tremendously conservative even though the majority of Americans are not. Fox News viewers are absolutely not representative of America in the same way that, for instance, viewers of the Super Bowl are.
So when you say “more people watch Fox,” you’re really saying “More old people who do not represent the majority of Americans” watch Fox.
I repeat: So what?
One in four Americans are skeptical on climate change. “Who gives a shit?” John Oliver says. “That doesn’t matter. You don’t need people’s opinion on a fact. You might as well have a poll asking, ‘Which number is bigger, 15 or 5?’ Or, ‘Do owls exist?’ Or, ‘Are there hats?’”
So take our poll and give us your opinion.
Forget the fact that Dr. Ben Carson has never held an elected position in his life and is about as qualified to become the Most Powerful Man in the World as any other random doctor you could find. He is an idiot when it comes to politics and history.
He is, however, a wonderful source for stupid quotes. Here are some of his best (or worst, depending on how you want to look at it):
“ObamaCare is the worst thing that has happened in this nation since slavery.” Because providing health care to people to make sure they don’t die is exactly like owning slaves! Why, the two are practically synonymous!
“[America is] very much like Nazi Germany.” He said this because he believed liberals are like Nazis, what with their love of equality, gay rights, and freedom of religion. We know how much the Nazis loved those things.
“I think most people when they finish that course, they’d be ready to go sign up for ISIS.” This was his objection to an American history course that taught students about slavery and Martin Luther King, Jr. and civil disobedience — you know, history. Clearly, learning facts would obviously make people immediately join a terrorist group. It goes without saying. Which is why no sane person ever says it.
“Marriage is between a man and a woman. It’s a well-established pillar of society and no group, be they gays, be they NAMBLA [North American Man/Boy Association], be they people who believe in bestiality — it doesn’t matter what they are.” It’s true, you know. Gay people getting married to the person they love is exactly like non-consentual child molesters and animal abusers. No, wait, I remember now, they have absolutely nothing to do with each other. My bad.
“Well, do those same people argue for freedom of choice when someone says, ‘I want to buy a gun, I want to buy an Uzi?'” This one is good. When asked if marijuana should be legal, he said no, it was a gateway drug and it “leads to hedonism.” He was then asked if it wasn’t a matter of free choice, and he responded with this quote. Mind you, he thinks guns should be easy to obtain, so with this quote he is attacking liberals for being hypocrites while simultaneously being exactly as hypocritical.
“Because 9/11 is an isolated incident.” That was his response to a question asking him how he could say Obamacare is worse than 9/11. Because of course. 9/11 killed thousands of people; Obamacare has saved thousands. Excellent analogy.
“A lot of people who go into prison go into prison straight — and when they come out, they’re gay.” This was his scientific evidence that being gay is a choice.
“So if there were a container of contaminated urine, and somehow it managed to find its way to someplace a lot of damage could be done. Someone comes up to a lab worker. He knows he’s got the urine. ‘How would you like to have a million dollars?’ … Such things have been known to happen.” This is a doctor talking now, about ebola, and how it could be used as a chemical weapon even though every other doctor said no, that couldn’t happen.
“Why did evolution divert in so many directions — birds, fish, elephants, apes, humans — if there is some force evolving to the maximum? Why isn’t everything a human — a superior human?” What the hell is a doctor doing denying (and clearly not understanding) evolution?
“For most of our history, schoolchildren were taught the guiding principles of the Constitution from the earliest age, and even members of Congress with controversial civil rights histories such as the late Sen. Strom Thurmond of South Carolina and Sen. Robert C. Byrd of West Virginia kept a copy of that great document in their jacket pocket to remind them of the responsibilities and limits of governance.” I talked about this in a previous post wherein this genius talked about things in the Constitution which aren’t there. This quote belongs on this list mostly because the two heroes of the Constitution he mentioned were both KKK members who did everything in their power to subvert the Constitution and keep people like Dr. Ben Carson from having any rights. Sometimes I wonder if maybe this is guy is just suffering from Stockholm Syndrome.
But you know, this idiot is a new Republican icon because he appeals to their stupidity. (I won’t say he is a conservative icon because there really are smart conservatives. None of them seem to have any power any more in the new Stupid Party.)
So they love Dr. Ben Carson — a man who is absolutely opposed to government handouts! And he should know — raised in public housing, gone to public schools, fed with food stamps, supported with welfare, kept healthy with medicaid, received federal grants and loans to go to college — he knows how terrible government is!
Oh, did I mention that besides being stupid, he’s also a flaming hypocrite?
Edit: Please note that this was written back in March of 2015. He’s said a lot more stupid stuff since then.
Sources:
http://wonkette.com/550031/ben-carson-so-glad-his-welfare-mom-wasnt-dependent-on-government
http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2015/feb/8/ben-carson-placed-on-southern-poverty-law-centers-/
