There IS a Santa Claus!

Clay Bennett

The 7th Annual War on Christmas Contest

Merry War on Christmas, everybody!

Anger drives ratings, as Fox News is well aware. And that’s why they created the War on Christmas. Those poor Christians, being attacked and persecuted and treated terribly — how awful it must be to be a discriminated against majority. All those laws requiring people to never say “Merry Christmas” …  oh wait.

war on christmas

cartoon by Pat Bagley

Every example Fox News gives for a “War on Christmas” always boils down to something like “They won’t let us force kids to sing our religious songs!” or “They say ‘Happy Holidays’ which acknowledges that not everyone is a Christian and therefore they are attacking us!” or “They are refusing to allow us to use their money (taxpayer dollars) for a religious display.”

So for seven years now, I have challenged anyone to give me an example of a real “attack on Christmas,” because every one of these examples is, in reality, fought in defense. You wouldn’t even hear about them if these particular Christians weren’t trying to require everyone to obey their beliefs.

Or else they’ll point out one misguided grinch who complains about a decoration or something as if that was evidence of a vast, coordinated attack. Last year, they trotted out an elementary school principal who, in an effort to avoid controversy, banned even secular representations of Christmas such as Santa Claus and Christmas trees. She changed her position once people complained, but that was hardly a “war on Christmas” as much as it was someone who understood that religion does not belong in a public school but mistakenly went too far.

And this in no way prevented any family from celebrating their religion in any way they wanted to on their own.

So there’s my yearly challenge: find me one example of anyone trying to prevent people from celebrating a religious Christmas. Just one.

I have a feeling I know what the result will once again be.

(And yes, of course, just to clarify: #notallChristians)

Babies mistreated


Pat Bagley

What innocent people do

When I have a client who is innocent, here’s my strategy:

Refuse to produce documents proving his innocence;

Refuse to have witnesses who can prove the innocence come forward and testify;

Refuse to testify under oath to prove innocence;

Insult the judges who will be deciding, while bribing the rest;

Write long, insulting letters accusing the prosecutor of random, made up crimes;

Whine about it constantly to anyone who will listen.

I mean, what more do they need? Clearly, a guilty person would not do all that.

Queen of No Heart

Jimmy Margulies

Discussing the Constitution

My interview with Rob Kall, editor of Op Ed News, will be published on his blog soon, but here it is early. We discuss the Constitution and some of the most important issues discussed in my book HOW TO ARGUE THE CONSTITUTION WITH A CONSERVATIVE.

 

Hey! Fellow Democrats!

Please

1. Stop bashing other Democrats. You’re just helping the Republicans. Discuss the differences between the candidates, say why you support one or the other, but please stop treating someone you disagree with 20% of the time as if they’re your enemy. We’re going to end up with one of them and any are better than any Republican. Let’s not give them an already destroyed candidate to begin the campaign with.

2. Stop saying we should not be impeaching based on your belief that it is politically a bad thing to do and may hurt us. Refusing to do the right thing simply because it may hurt you politically is what Republicans do. Let’s be better than that.