This cliched Presidency

If you saw this in a movie, you’d think “This is so unbelievable and so cliched.”

President wins by a loophole after being supported by our cliched Russian enemy using underhanded and illegal means. The President is a reality show host who has a history of being a terrible landlord who has been married many times, mistreats and abuses woman while bragging about it, lies constantly, and has the maturity of a kindergarten child.trump evil

He then appoints the man most responsible for the foreclosure crisis to be in charge of the economy; appoints a woman who wants to destroy public education as Secretary of Education; appoints people who don’t believe in science in charge of science, appoints lawyers who have no experience in law to be judges; and gives the rest of his appointments to his family despite laws against nepotism.

He then channels government funds in a way to profit his personal businesses, which he refuses to place into a blind trust, and refuses to release his taxes despite promising to do so.

He tries to cut a popular health care program for no reason, wants to raise taxes on the poor and reduce them on the rich while letting his billionaire friends write off expenses like personal jets and yachts.

He has a propaganda machine concentrated in one network in particular and supported by many smaller stations and newspapers which repeat lies enough that eventually people believe them.

And to top this all off, he is supported by KKK members and literal nazis.

In a movie, this would be rejected as being too blatantly obvious. “These bad guys are just too evil — no one would believe it!”

All we’re missing is a maniacal laugh.

Ye Olde Double Standard

Trump: “I like to brag about grabbing pussies against their will and walking into underage girls’ dressing rooms. And I don’t apologize for it.”

GOP: “What a guy! Let’s elect him our leader!”

Franken: “I posed for a funny picture where I pretended to grope a sleeping woman. There were witnesses, a photographer, and I’m clearly doing it for humorous effect. I apologize completely for my crude actions, and hope everyone will forgive me for this.”

GOP: “He needs to resign immediately!”

leeann-airplane-pic

The Democratic Witch Hunt

Mueller is a registered Republican, appointed by a Republican Attorney General, approved by Republicans in Congress.

So clearly this is a Democratic witch hunt.
1ymb8t

 

No, Bill Clinton did not commit perjury

“You damned liberals complaining that Trump needs to be impeached! Why didn’t you want Bill Clinton impeached when he committed perjury — a felony!”

Look, I’m aware that conservatives have a reputation for ignoring facts when they get in the way of their world view — evolution and climate change aren’t real, trickle-down economics works, sexual orientation is a choice — but not only was Bill Clinton not convicted of perjury, he couldn’t be.4571618_orig

Yes, the House impeached him, because he lied about a consensual sexual affair he had with another adult. “Lying under oath is perjury!” they all scream. But no, it isn’t.

Perjury requires lying under oath about something relevant and material to a criminal investigation. If under oath you say your favorite color is blue when it’s really yellow, you’ve lied — but if your favorite color has nothing to do with a crime, then you haven’t committed perjury.

Adultery is not illegal. There was no “criminal investigation.” Republicans investigated both Clintons, over and over again, trying to find something — anything — they could get them on, and this was the only thing they could come up with. And impeachment doesn’t require anything more than enough politicians willing to impeach you.

Bill Clinton was never charged with perjury. No DA would file such frivolous charges, since clearly he hadn’t committed a crime. Is he a liar? Oh, absolutely. But he lied about something that really isn’t our business.

Meanwhile, Trump pretty much admits to Obstruction of Justice — an actual, real crime that has huge impact on our legal system — and Republicans yawn.  Since the GOP controlled the House under Clinton and Trump, and since they happily went after Clinton for his alleged non-crime, then surely they should be bringing impeachment charges against Trump for something much more severe right?

What? They’re not? Why, that would mean that they’re a bunch of lying hypocrites who are placing party above country!

(NOTE:  I know Bill Clinton is old news, but people keep bringing it up to distract from Trump. So feel free to bookmark this and send it to your Republican friends when they bring it up.

Not that it will matter. As we know, facts never convince them.)

Kathy Griffin, Hypocrites, and the First Amendment

Comedian Kathy Griffin recently posted a picture of herself holding a severed bloody Trump head.

In comparison to all the crap conservatives posted about Obama — including actual death threats — it was mild, but still provocative. screen_shot_2017-05-30_at_1.47.48_pm_-_h_2017

Of course, that was the point, wasn’t it? Provocative? Isn’t that what comedians sometimes are like?

Immediately, GOP members without any sense of irony screamed about how inappropriate it was. “But the children may see it!” they yelled. Griffin lost some jobs, was criticized all over the internet, and many said she should be arrested for this.

Because, you know, if there’s one thing conservatives love, it’s America. They just hate what it stands for — you know, like that damned First Amendment, which is meaningless if it only protects speech we all agree with.

Then — and here is where you roll your eyes — GOP members who complained that the photo would harm children are now running that photo in campaign ads on prime time TV.

Why, it’s almost as if they really don’t care about the children at all and are merely blatant hypocrites!

“We must have universal healthcare”

With Democrats once more calling for a “medicare for all” plan instead of the terrible Trumpcare plan, one turns to the words of a famous politician — clearly, a socialist — who said this in one of his books:

17492709_1295588670523738_3509627591843698950_o

Man, I bet Trump must hate this person, with those liberal views. Who would dare argue that universal healthcare is necessary? Hmmm.  It seems that this is from a best-seller called “The America We Deserve” by that radical socialist Donald Trump.

The moral of this story isn’t that Trump actually feels this way. It’s that he has no positions whatsoever, says whatever gets him the most attention, and lies constantly.

Sean Spicer’s Training

“Mr. Spicer: As the President’s Press Secretary, what you say carries a lot of weight. So let’s try this again.  Just read the release.”

“President Trump’s budget proposal cuts funding for Meals on Wheels. Muahahahaha!”

“Right, but remember what I said — please try to read this without adding the evil laughter at the end.”Badman

“Okay, I’ll try again. Hmmm. President Trump’s budget proposal cuts funding for Meals on Wheels.  Hrmmmmm. How was that?”

“Better, but the wringing of your hands and the hunched over posture don’t really convey trust. Here — stand up straight, don’t laugh, and try putting it into your own words.”

“Thanks to President Trump, we will no longer help starving poor old ladies since there is no financial benefit to us in return.”

“Yes. Well. That certainly summarizes the Trump position perfectly, but maybe we should move on. Go to the next talking point.”

“All right. Let’s see.  Funding for the Arts has been reduced as well as funding for PBS. How was that?”

“When did you grow a mustache?”

“The Environmental Protection Agency’s budget will be cut by almost a third, effectively killing its power to accomplish anything.”

“And the top hat?  Where did that come from?”

“Education funding is slashed unless you’re a rich kid going to a private school in which case we’re going to give all sorts of tax credits to your rich parents.”

“Stop twirling your mustache while you talk!”

“No more science! Cut! Transit? Forget it. Anything that helps people who aren’t already rich? Muhahahaha! Deal with it, suckers! We know you didn’t vote for us, but we don’t give a shit! Widows, orphans, the sick? When was the last time you contributed to the Republican party? Fools! Feel our wrath!”

“You’re really freaking me out now! I’m out of here. This isn’t working. Oh, but one final comment.”

“Yes?”

“At least you’re finally being truthful.”