The real cause

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Steve Sack

GOP denies real causes of gun violence

What is it about America that causes us to have so many mass shootings? What makes us different? Why don’t other countries have this problem?

“Clearly, it’s a mental health issue,” claim the Republicans, while slashing the budget for mental health and taking away the mental health background check requirements for gun purchases.

“Other countries have mental health issues,” we reply, “yet they don’t have this problem.”

“Look! A squirrel!” they reply while stuffing wads of money into their pockets from the NRA.gun chart

The fact is that while we have 4.4% of the world’s population, we own 42% of the world’s guns. And those guns aren’t evenly spread out among Americans. Only about 23% of all Americans own guns, but 3% of the population owns 50% of the guns.  And I’d be willing to bet that 99% of all the mass shootings come from that 3%.

So we Americans are allowing ourselves to be the deadliest advanced country in the world for the sake of 3% of the population that probably has mental problems we are not addressing. (For the record, the only countries with more gun violence per capita are poorer, less-developed places: Uruguay, Panama, Brazil, Columbia, Jamaica, Guatamala, Swaziland, El Salvador, Venezuela, and Honduras.)

But the Republican solution to gun violence here in America?  “Let’s do nothing! Maybe that will work.”

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Be That Guy

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Was it good for you, too?

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Nick Anderson

Fly, My Pretties!

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Mike Luckovich

SOTU STFU

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Pat Bagley

First Drafts: Movie Titles

Our previous first draft contest (“band names“) gave us some hilarious responses. This time, I asked for the first draft of movie titles, and here’s some of my favorites and the ones that got the most “likes” (in no particular order except me first):giphy

Michael A. Ventrella:

  • Moon Wars
  • WALL-F
  • The Wizard of Ounce
  • Bravespleen
  • The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Hours
  • Howl’s Moving White Castle
  • The Credibles
  • Apocalypse Whenever
  • Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Kidney Stone
  • Hectopussy
  • Aunt-Man
  • Indiana Jones and the Penultimate Crusade
  • The Halfback of Notre Dame
  • The Perfect Stormy Daniels
  • Plan 9 From Altoona, PA

Savannah Luther:

  •  Ladychicken

Esther Friesner:

  • The Spare Change of the Sierra Madre
  • Debbie Visits Dallas
  • Hi, Noon!

Brandon E. Kumm:

  • Die In A Somewhat Difficult Way

Jay Pennington:

  • Prince Kong
  • Moulin Eyeliner
  • The Ten Suggestions
  • Lord of the Friendship Bracelets
  • A Barely Worth Mentioning Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
  • Force 10 from Toblerone
  • Permitted Planet
  • Lawrence of Flatbush

Terri Lynn Coop:

  • All’s Chill on the Western Front
  • The Streets of Conshohocken

Pam Smith:

  • The Jungle Pamphlet
  • Raging Cow

Daniel Persons:

  • Star Trek 3: The Search for Sporks
  • The Seven Year Staph Infection

Rachelle Stein:

  • Some Like it Lukewarm

Eric Hamilton:

  • Irate Max
  • Logan’s Amble
  • Children of a Lesser Dog

David Edward Martin:

  • It’s a Fairly Annoyed, Kind of Annoyed, Pretty Annoyed, Really Annoyed World

Jesse Hendrix:

  • The Okay Dictator

Glenn Haumann:

  • Indiana Jones and the Temple Of B’Nai Brith

Marcus Dark:

  • Awe Woman

Rebecca Morris:

  • Rosemary’s Tween
  • The Devil Wears Chinese Rip-offs
  • Call of Doody
  • Minority Post-it Notes

James Ryan:

  • The Shiny

Carl Montano:

  • Children of the Zucchini

Jason Harris Vichinsky:

  • Anxiety and Mild Disdain in Las Vegas

Steve Vaughan:

  • You’ve Got Texts
  • Crochet Your Wagon
  • Conan the Bartender

Andrew Sugermeyer:

  • Undocumented Immigrant Kane

Michael Engler:

  • A Fistful of Dollies
  • Slightly Soiled Harry

Maria Solly Engler:

  • Ghostadmonishers

Jason Leon:

  • The Fast and the Slightly Perturbed
  • Dances with Irish Setters
  • Monty Python and the Holy Grill
  • Escape from New Brunswick
  • Snakes on a Plain

Sarah Adams:

  • The Penultimate Jedi

Susie Guarino:

  • Where Eagles Consider
  • Air Force Two
  • First Lieutenant America

Mike Guarino:

  • Illinois Jones and the Shrine of Moderate Peril
  • Shaving Private Ryan

Kevin Irwin:

  • Drizzle Man

Donald Smith:

  • Larry of Arabia
  • The Wildebeest in Winter
  • Lab Assistant Zhivago

Michael Kaspszyk:

  • A Hitchhikers’ Guide to the Neighborhood

Sorry I couldn’t post them all! Be a friend of mine on Facebook for the next one.

The Manhunt

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Clay Bennett

“Black Panther” and white audiences

The new Marvel movie “Black Panther” looks great from all the previews. I’m looking forward to it, as are many fans of a good superhero film.

But you watch — as soon as it is released, you’re going to see articles from Hollywood types acting surprised that a film with an almost-entirely black cast is so popular with white audiences as well.

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I still remember when Spike Lee’s “Do the Right Thing” was out, and I was reading articles from Hollywood “experts” saying that it was an “urban” film (that’s their code word for “black” — as if there are no white people living in urban areas) and that white audiences couldn’t relate to the film.

As it was, I lived not far from the neighborhood where that movie was filmed. I can guarantee you that I could relate more to the people in that movie than I ever could to some white British aristocrats in 19th century England, yet no one ever says “White people can’t relate to ‘Pride and Prejudice.'”

In any event, what we really want are good movies. I don’t have to be black to enjoy a movie with black characters any more than I have to be Jewish to enjoy a Woody Allen movie or an animal to appreciate “Zootopia” or a hobbit to appreciate “Lord of the Rings.” And I think, despite what Hollywood executives may think, most Americans feel that way.

But just watch out. The articles acting surprised at the film’s success will soon be here.

Their only strategy

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Steve Sack