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The most corrupt President ever

It’s the most corrupt White House in the history of America — literally over a hundred administration officials indicted and/or convicted. No other president comes close, not even Nixon.

I’m referring to the Reagan years, of course. Selling weapons to our enemy in Iran was just the tip of the iceberg.

What, did you think I meant Obama?

“The most corrupt President ever” is a refrain we hear from the right, but usually when you pin them down, it’s all stuff like “He ignores the Constitution by passing Executive Orders!” (but less than any President since Grover Cleveland) or “He was the cause of Benghazi!” (which was a tragedy but not a conspiracy) or some other variation of “He does things I don’t like.”evilobama7

But just look at practical, comparable data with other Presidents for things like how many members of his administration were indicted and/or convicted? Obama’s administration has been the cleanest since Jimmy Carter’s. Sure, some people have resigned for political and administrative reasons (such as from the IRS “scandal”) but that’s not the same thing as being indicted or convicted of a crime.

(Before someone finds some example of someone Obama’s never even met working in the lower levels of some bureaucracy who was found guilty of something and who could have been hired during the Bush administration: We’re talking about and comparing high-level people personally hired or appointed by the President or his direct staff whose term most likely expires when the President’s term expires.)

EDIT:  Obviously, this was written before Trump

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Editorial cartoon: Trump Kicks Puppy

Clay Bennett

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Militia in the Constitution?

These guys in Oregon insist that they are a militia and thus entitled to their guns because you have to read the 2nd Amendment very strictly.faces-of-the-american-revolution-militia-soldiers---randy-steele

OK, fine. Then let’s read Article II just as strictly: “The President shall be Commander in Chief of the Army and Navy of the United States, and of the Militia of the several States.”

There you go. Simple solution: Obama orders them to surrender. When they don’t, you arrest them and court martial them.

Problem solved!

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David Bowie cartoon tributes

Mike Peters

Darrin Bell

Matt Davies

 

Keith Knight

Berkeley Breathed

bloom

Mike Luckovich

Clay Jones

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Editorial cartoon: For the “people”!

David Horsey

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Whose Land is it, Anyway?

These “patriots” (a/k/a “Vanilla ISIS”) who have taken over a bird sanctuary in Oregon say they are doing so because they want to “give the land back to the people.”

Forget about the silliness of these guys thinking that the words “well-regulated militia” in the 2nd Amendment refers to them — let’s talk about the whole purpose behind their protest.frjlLT4

One of their leaders, while showing his love of America and its freedom of religion by wearing a “Fuck Islam” t-shirt while at the same time telling us that God told him to do this, said that the government is a tyranny, stealing land.

While Native Americans laughed, the rest of us scratched our heads and said “Huh? Isn’t this already federal land, which means by definition that it does belong to the people? Land we all get to use?”

Ha ha! Silly us!  “The people” these guys are referring to are “rich ranchers.” They are upset because we, the people, have asked them, through our laws, to pay to use our land.

Pure tyranny, right? I mean, we can all remember when armed campers took over Yellowstone in protest over admission fees.

When one thinks of tyranny, one immediately thinks of that horrible dictator Teddy Roosevelt, the tyrannical man whose visage adorns Mt. Rushmore, who decided that much of America should belong to Americans and not land developers, mining companies, and ranchers. He started the government policy of setting aside land for everyone to use as public parks, hunting grounds, or other environmental means.

Sharing land? Positively tyrannical.

When I was a kid, I was always pleased to imagine that “U.S.” didn’t just stand for “United States” but that it also stood for “us” — as in “we are all in this together.”  Clearly, these guys think it only stands for them.

 

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Editorial cartoon: Donald the Trump

donaldPat Bagley

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Terrorists Take Over Government Building

A group of terrorists have taken over a US government building as I write this.

They’re white, though, so I have yet to see a major news source call them this.  family guy

Not surprisingly, this group is related to that Master of Treason, Clive Bundy, the racist millionaire rancher who didn’t want to pay his fair share of taxes and somehow convinced the crazies that he was fighting for their rights.

These radical right-wing groups have decided that the US has tyranny. In their deluded mind, they think that allows them to commit treason. They think they’re being patriots when in actuality, they are the exact opposite of a patriot.

The problem is that their definition of tyranny breaks down to “the government has laws I don’t like.”

Well, tough. There are lots of laws I don’t like, and I try to get them changed. That’s what you do in a democracy, and you’re not always going to win — especially when your views are in the minority.

These deluded “patriots” compare themselves to the founders and the American Revolution, but the founders were fighting against actual, real, honest-to-goodness tyranny — a king, no less. They didn’t have the opportunity to vote in people who could change the law. They had no other option.

If the President of the United States ever declares martial law and the US army supports him in that (hint: that will never happen), then yes, that would be tyranny.

Anything else is just whiny babies with guns complaining that they didn’t get their way.

 

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Editorial cartoon: Justice wakes up

cosby

Michael deAdder

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The Annual Look Back at Psychic Predictions for 2015

Happy New Year! Here it is, 2016, and time for our annual look back at the 2015 predictions made by psychics.

I predicted last year that, like every previous year we’ve done this (2014, 2013), the psychics would be wrong pretty much 100% of the time, and once more, I was right!

I must be psychic!psychic1

Of course, some of their predictions did come true, but you didn’t have to be a psychic to predict some of these things.  (These are real “psychic predictions” from December of 2014. I am not making these up):

  • Hollywood will release big blockbusters sequels in 2015: Hunger Games, Star Wars: Episode VII, Mission Impossible 5. (Really? Who would have predicted that these three films would be released in 2015? Why, you’d almost have to read anything on the internet to know that!)
  • Windows 10 released by Microsoft. (Yes, this was an actual “psychic” prediction as well.)
  • There are going to be the deaths of three celebrities in 2015. One will be by suicide, one will be drug related, and one will be of natural causes. (Given that “celebrities” here could mean anything from TV stars to recording artists to newscasters to politicians, yeah, I’m going to guess that at least three of them died last year and at least one would be from each of the reasons given above.)
  • An evangelical minister is going to outed for being gay. (Geez, that never happens!)

But, as you may guess (just like a psychic does!), the vast majority of these random guesses supernaturally provided predictions were absolutely wrong:

  • South African to win Ms. World; runner-up, Ms. India  (Nope to both)
  • Major religious leader passes away, as also a former President of U.S. (Well, you can probably find some random “major religious leader” who died, but President? Nope.)
  • U.S. Congress will pass a law to ban the sale of guns to people with mental disorders. (Yeah, I wish!)
  • Rumors of an Illness or accident around Hillary Clinton will sideline her chances of becoming the first female U.S. President in 2016. This will concern her feet (as in tripping and falling) or a medically related disease connected to her bones. (We all remember that, right?)
  • Tokyo in ruins after a giant earthquake. (Or maybe Godzilla?)
  • A dog breaks a world record. (What? That’s the entire prediction? Come on, guy, you have to give me more than that! What world record? Most albums sold? Tightrope walking? Smelliest farts?)
  • There are going to be many UFO sightings in 2015. Sightings of actual aliens, and people being abducted by aliens, will also be on the rise. This will be due to the major planetary shifts our planet will experience in the upcoming year. (Because who could forget these? And that “major planetary shift” that all the astronomers talked about all year?)
  • Last year for Vladimir Putin to be in power in Russia. (Nyet)
  • Pope resigns because of hidden illness. (Nuh uh)

You get the idea; we could do this all day.

Now, just for kicks, let’s think about what some of the biggest stories were in 2015 (according to ABC news).

  • Chalie Hedbo attacks in Pariszoltar
  • Germanwings plane crash
  • Shootings by police officers
  • Amtrack train crash
  • Prison escape in New York
  • Charlestown church shooting
  • On-air shooting in Virginia
  • Major murder trials
  • European refugee crisis
  • Gay marriage approved by the Supreme Court
  • Pope visits America
  • Massive terrorist attacks in Paris
  • Many mass shootings in America

You’d think at least one of these would be foreseen by psychics, wouldn’t you?

Every once in a while, one out of every hundred predictions made by these people will come true due to the vagueness of the prediction and the law of probabilities, and that’s the one they remind everyone about so people keep giving them money.

If a con artist scams someone out of their money, they can be prosecuted. That’s a crime.  How these people get away with the same sort of thing is beyond me.

This is what scam artists do, of course.  Speaking of which, here are some of the actual predictions Republicans made about what would happen if Obama was re-elected:

  • Gas will be $10.00 a gallon (According to Newt Gingrich, who promised to bring it down to $2.50 a gallon. It’s now around $2.25)
  • Unemployment will be over 8% (According to Mitt Romney. It’s now at 5.8%)
  • The Stock Market will crash (According to Donald Trump; it’s now around 18,000 and has risen 35% since Obama was elected)
  • Obamacare will destroy jobs (According to many Republicans. Instead, unemployment has dropped, especially since medical jobs are growing because of Obamacare)
  • Obama will force young people to go to FEMA re-education concentration camps (Okay, that one was from Michelle Bachmann, so no one with a brain ever took that seriously) 

I guess we can say then, given their similar track record on predictions, that Republicans are psychic.