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“To Kill a Mockingbird” Sequel Suggestions

Man!  Slow down, lady, I haven’t finished the last one yet!  Harper Lee has announced a sequel to “To Kill a Mockingbird” will soon come out, 55 years later.  Below are some suggested titles that I and my Facebook friends came up with to help her … although it seemed primarily we came up with ideas for the kind of sequels Hollywood would do:

  • To Kill a Mockingbird 2:  Electric Boogaloo
  • 2 Kill 2 Mockingbird
  • To Mock a Killingbird
  • Walk Hard:  The Boo Radley Storypvcategoryimage280220140516421605
  • How the Finch stole Christmas
  • Fifty Shades of Mockingbird
  • Hunger Games 5:  Mockingbird
  • Atticus Shrugged
  • Mockingbird:  Resurrection
  • Mockingbird 2: How Scout Got Her Groove Back
  • Faster, Mockingbird! Kill! Kill!
  • To Lame a Starling
  • To Aggravatingly Assault a Woodpecker
  • To Kneecap a Redwing Blackbird
  • Mockingbird 2:  Scout Goes to Ferguson
  • Dude, Where’s My Mockingbird?
  • I, Mockingbird
  • Mockingbird 2:  Mock Harder
  • Abbot and Costello Meet the Mockingbird
  • Come Back to the Five and Dime Boo Radley, Boo Radley
  • One Flew Over the Mockingbird’s Nest
  • Boo Watches the Watchmen
  • Those Incredible Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Crazy, Mixed-up Mockingbirds
  • Mockingbird: The Next Generation
  • The Revenge of the Undead Rabid Dog
  • Finch/Off
  • Don’t Tell Mom the Mockingbird’s Dead
  • Tinker, Tailor, Mockingbird, Spy
  • Tequila Mockingbird: Atticus’ Problem (ABC Afterschool Special Version)
  • The Desolation of Mockingbird
  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Mockingbirds
  • Mockingbird 2:  Tom the Zombie
  • Mockingbirds Are Go!
  • Mockingbirdnado

Thanks again to all my Facebook friends who assisted in this list!  (You can go to my Facebook page to read them all and see who submitted each one.)

 

Editorial cartoon: McCain’s Guide to Speech

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Christie dumbs himself down in order to win Stupid Party nomination

I may disagree with Chris Christie over politics, but he always seemed like a fairly smart guy.  I’ve even complimented him in the past.

Then he decided he wanted to be President.   

In order to be a Republican President, you have to win the Republican primaries.  chris-christieAnd in order to do that, you have to be a member of the Stupid Party.  Primary voters are always at the extreme end of the political spectrum (Democrats, too) — so in the Republican primaries, that means you need to appeal to the anti-science, anti-immigrant, anti-women’s rights, anti-gay rights Tea Party types.

Christie began by ignoring the fact that a majority of the people who elected him in New Jersey favor gay marriage, by coming out against it and even vetoing the bill to allow it in his state.

Now he’s siding with the anti-science crowd over vaccinations.  Vaccinations!  I still can’t believe this is even an issue.  “Medicine is the work of evil scientists who want to cure everyone!”  WTF is wrong with these people?

Admittedly, the anti-vaccination people also include many stupid liberals who believe in crystals and magic and other nonsense, but Christie is using this issue to side with the anti-government crowd.  He says he vaccinates his kids but he doesn’t like the fact that the government forces him to do so.  You know, the stupid position.

Some politicians like Bobby Jindal are frustrated by this, literally telling his fellow Republicans “We have to stop being the ‘Stupid Party.'”   But then even Jindal is toning up the stupidity in order to appeal to the base, by allowing creationism to be taught in the schools and otherwise appealing to the stupids.

And it really doesn’t help that Christie’s campaign committee is “Leadership Matters For America.Org” — or LMFAO.

Editorial cartoon: Reports of its death have been greatly exaggerated

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Beatles Solo Charting Singles

Once the Beatles split up, we had four times the music being produced, often at 25% of the original quality.

This is a list of all of the Beatles solo singles that made the Billboard charts in order of their release date, because I didn’t see a similar list anywhere else (although it’s probably out there somewhere.)Beatles70

This is not a list of their best songs.  Just because something was released as a single doesn’t mean it was any good, and there are plenty of album tracks that are far superior to some of these.

I did not include the Traveling Wilburys in this chart, because while George was a major participant it wasn’t really a George solo project.

This was fun for me to compile, because I first got into the Beatles after they split (I’m not that old!) and I remember going to my local record store and being excited whenever a new album or single came out … especially late 1973 – early 1974, when I was 15, and all four produced some of their best albums and singles.

Song (John, Paul, George or Ringo) Release date (Highest chart position)

Give Peace a Chance (J) 7/7/69 (14)

Cold Turkey (J) 10/20/69 (30)

Instant Karma (J) 2/20/70 (3)

My Sweet Lord (G) 11/1/70 (1)

Mother (J) 12/28/70 (43)

What is Life (G) 2/2/71 (10)

Another Day (P) 2/19/71 (5)

Power to the People (J) 3/12/71 (11)

It Don’t Come Easy (R) 4/4/71 (4) george

Bangla Desh (G) 7/1/71 (23)

Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey (P) 8/2/71 (1)

Imagine (J) 9/11/71 (3)

Give Ireland Back to the Irish (P) 2/25/72 (21)

Back Off Boogaloo (R) 3/12/72 (9)

Woman is the Nigger of the World (J) 4/24/72 (57)

Mary Had a Little Lamb (P) 5/12/72 (28)

Hi Hi Hi (P) 12/1/72 (10)

My Love (P) 3/23/73 (1)

Give Me Love (Give Me Peace on Earth) (G) 5/5/73 (1)

Live and Let Die (P) 6/1/73 (2)johnny

Photograph (R) 9/24/73 (1)

Helen Wheels (P) 10/26/73 (10)

Mind Games (J) 10/29/73 (18)

You’re Sixteen (R) 12/3/73 (1)

Jet (P) 2/15/74 (7)

Oh My My (R) 2/18/74 (5)

Band on the Run (P) 6/28/74 (1)

Whatever Gets You Through the Night (J) 9/23/74 (1)

Junior’s Farm (P) 10/25/74 (3)

Only You (R) 11/11/74 (6)

Dark Horse (G) 11/18/74 (15)

#9 Dream (J) 12/16/74 (9)

Ding Dong Ding Dong (G) 12/23/74 (36)

No No Song (R) 1/27/75 (3)

Stand By Me (J) 3/10/75 (20)

Listen to What the Man Said (P) 5/16/75 (1)

(It’s all Down to) Goodnight Vienna (R) 6/2/75  (31)

Letting Go (P) 9/5/75 (39) ringo1

You (G) 10/3/75 (20)

Venus and Mars/Rock Show (P) 11/28/75 (12)

Silly Love Songs (P) 4/1/76 (1)

Let ‘Em In (P) 6/28/76 (3)

A Dose of Rock and Roll (R) 9/20/76 (26)

This Song (G) 11/15/76 (25)

Hey Baby (R) 11/22/76 (74)

Crackerbox Palace (G) 1/24/77 (19)

Maybe I’m Amazed (live version) (P) 2/4/77 (10)

Girl’s School (P) 11/11/77 (33)

With a Little Luck (P) 3/23/78 (1)

I’ve Had Enough (P) 6/16/78 (25)

London Town (P) 8/26/78 (39)

Blow Away (G) 2/23/79 (16)

Goodnight Tonight (P) 3/23/79 (5)

Getting Closer (P) 6/20/79 (20)

Arrow Through Me (P) 8/3/79 (29) paul

Coming Up (P) 4/11/80 (1)

(Just Like) Starting Over (J) 10/27/80 (1)

Woman (J) 1/12/81 (2)

Watching the Wheels (J) 3/13/81 (10)

All Those Years Ago (G) 6/5/81 (2)

Wrack My Brain (R) 10/27/81 (38)

Ebony and Ivory (P) 3/29/82 (1)

Take It Away (P) 6/21/82 (10)

Tug of War (P) 9/20/82 (53)

Say Say Say (P) 10/3/83 (1)

So Bad (P) 12/5/83 (23)

Wake Up My Love (G) 11/5/82 (53)

Nobody Told Me (J) 1/5/84 (5)

No More Lonely Nights (P) 9/24/84 (6)

I’m Stepping Out (J) 3/15/85 (55)

Spies Like Us (P) 11/18/85 (7)

Press (P) 7/14/86 (21)

Stranglehold (P) 11/12/86 (81)

Got My Mind Set on You (G) 11/3/87 (1)

When We Was Fab (G) 1/22/88 (23)

My Brave Face (P) 5/8/89 (25)

This One (P) 7/17/89 (94)

Figure of Eight (P) 11/13/89 (92)

Hope of Deliverance (P) 12/28/92 (83)

The World Tonight (P) 7/7/97 (64)

Freedom (P) 11/5/01 (97)

Dance Tonight (P) 6/18/07 (69)

Number Ones:

Paul (9)
George (3)
John (2)
Ringo (2)

Editorial cartoon: Inaccurate forecast

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Preaching to the choir

Not too many conservatives read this blog.  That doesn’t surprise me — I don’t read too many conservative blogs, either.

meh

Meh.

And that might be the problem.

An old friend commented to me the other day that a recent post wasn’t the best way to gain converts to my cause, given my sarcastic treatment of those on the right.  I replied that I never expected it to, as I didn’t see them as my target audience anyway.  (Seriously — if I were invited to do a guest blog on a conservative site, the tone and argument presented would be completely different.  I do know how to convince people who are not on my side.  I am a trial lawyer, after all.)

But he’s right about one thing:  While these posts may give me a chance to vent (“Hi, I’m Mike Vent Fella”), they’re not designed to be appreciated by those who disagree with me.

And that’s true all over the internet.  Liberals watch MSNBC which confirms the biases they already have, and conservatives watch Fox which confirms the prejudices and idiotic nonsense they believe.  (See?  I did it again.  I can’t help it.)

Is there a solution?  Probably not.  I don’t mind reading conservative commentary when it is reasonable, but too often, these conservative blogs are insulting and demeaning and I give up before I get too far.

Which is probably what conservatives think when they read mine.

Editorial cartoon: the official response

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Idiot Who Wants to Swear Oath to Constitution Has Never Read It

Dr. Ben Carson, who has never studied Constitutional Law in his life but has studied medicine and still thinks life begins at conception, recently declared that Congress has the Constitutional authority to remove judges just because they don’t like them.

Most Americans aren’t aware of this Congressional power “because they don’t know the Constitution,” he said.  Exactly where in the Constitution is this power? He didn’t explain. Probably because it’s not there, I dunno.    Obamacare-27

Anyway, Bennie here thinks that judges who rule in favor of gay marriage should be removed because they made an unconstitutional decision. Let’s see, who decides whether a law is unconstitutional according to our Constitution? Is it the judicial branch? No, of course not. It’s Dr. Ben Carson.

Carson, who also believes Obamacare is Unconstitutional, has previously spoken about how wonderful it would be if Congress loved the Constitution like they used to. He then cited Strom Thurmond and Robert Byrd as shining examples of people who loved the Constitution — you know, those two senators who were members of the KKK and believed that the Constitution only applied to white people. Those guys. (Yes, you can now do some psychoanalysis on Dr. Ben if you wish.)

And this guy is on the short list of Republican Presidential possibilities.

I am not making this up.

Editorial cartoons: More reruns