Bigots in Arizona cheered as their state legislature passed the nation’s toughest law against tolerance, understanding, and equality.
“Finally, we can discriminate against gays and lesbians,” say the bigots, who had been doing that for years anyway.
The law allows businesses to discriminate for religious reasons. So if you are a person who really believes in the Bible and thinks that it says you should treat gays as subhuman, you’re in. This is your day.
“It’s great,” said Marcus J. Kellington, a Christian supporter, while eating shellfish and showing off his new tattoo. “Now I can abide by my religious beliefs without government interfering by taking the side of actual, caring and feeling human beings.”
“The part about how evil gays are is right there,” he said, pointing to the Bible, after passing by the parts prohibiting the eating of shellfish and the wearing of tattoos. “Wait a minute, sorry. That’s the part where Jesus says we should love one another no matter what. It’s in here somewhere. Give me a minute.”
Satanist Deathblade Bloodshatter (not his real name), a barista at an Albuquerque Starbucks, is also pleased. “Dude, now I can refuse to give Christians their morning latte because I don’t like what they do.” Some Muslim organizations said they would kick out any women not covered from head to toe, and a Scientologist who owns a bakery in Flagstaff will require all who enter his place of business to vow service to Xenu, Grand Dictator of the Galactic Federation, or be denied cupcakes.
“This is what America is all about,” said Governor Jan Brewer. “The freedom to deny basic human rights and to be assholes to anyone not like us.”