“You damned liberals complaining that Trump needs to be impeached! Why didn’t you want Bill Clinton impeached when he committed perjury — a felony!”

Look, I’m aware that conservatives have a reputation for ignoring facts when they get in the way of their world view — evolution and climate change aren’t real, trickle-down economics works, sexual orientation is a choice — but not only was Bill Clinton not convicted of perjury, he couldn’t be.

Yes, the House impeached him, because he lied about a consensual sexual affair he had with another adult. “Lying under oath is perjury!” they all scream. But no, it isn’t.

Perjury requires lying under oath about something relevant and material to a criminal investigation. If under oath you say your favorite color is blue when it’s really yellow, you’ve lied — but if your favorite color has nothing to do with a crime, then you haven’t committed perjury.

Adultery is not illegal. There was no “criminal investigation.” Republicans investigated both Clintons, over and over again, trying to find something — anything — they could get them on, and this was the only thing they could come up with. And impeachment doesn’t require anything more than enough politicians willing to impeach you.

Bill Clinton was never charged with perjury. No DA would file such frivolous charges, since clearly he hadn’t committed a crime. Is he a liar? Oh, absolutely. But he lied about something that really isn’t our business.

Meanwhile, Trump pretty much admits to Obstruction of Justice — an actual, real crime that has huge impact on our legal system — and Republicans yawn.  Since the GOP controlled the House under Clinton and Trump, and since they happily went after Clinton for his alleged non-crime, then surely they should be bringing impeachment charges against Trump for something much more severe right?

What? They’re not? Why, that would mean that they’re a bunch of lying hypocrites who are placing party above country!

(NOTE:  I know Bill Clinton is old news, but people keep bringing it up to distract from Trump. So feel free to bookmark this and send it to your Republican friends when they bring it up.

Not that it will matter. As we know, facts never convince them.)