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Lower gas prices? Thanks, Obama!

Not really.

Seriously, the President has very little power over gas prices. When gas prices were high, Obama was criticized for it, and his reply was something along the lines of “Don’t you think if I could do something about this, I would? Why would I be happy gas prices are high?”

Those are the facts.

"Our plan is simple. We lower gas prices, which will lead to Americans dying. Muhahahahaha!"

“Our plan is simple. We lower gas prices, which will lead to Americans dying. Muhahahahaha!”

Facts, however, have never stood in the way of Fox News, which has to spin every story to make Obama look bad, no matter how good the news really is. When gas prices were high, they were ruining the economy and it was Obama’s fault. Now that they’re low, they’re going to cost human lives and it’s Obama’s fault.

I am not making this up.  Fox is warning its paranoid idiotic viewers that Obama is going to kill you because gas prices are low. Why? Well, that’s harder to figure out. Apparently this will lead to war over gas when Russia and Iran attack us for our oil or something. It’s not very clear. The only understandable message is “Obama wants to kill you.”

Despite every single prediction Fox News made about Obama, the United States economy is stronger than it has been in many, many years. Unemployment is at  its lowest, growth is higher than it was under Reagan, the Dow is at an all-time record high, and consumer confidence is at a peak.

If a Republican were in office now, they would be naming airports after him and trying to put him on Mount Rushmore.

 

Editorial cartoon: Like a curse!

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Neil DeGrasse Tyson makes a non-religious joke, Christians everywhere are insulted

On Christmas Day, noted scientist Neil DeGrasse Tyson posted some funny tweets:

“On this day long ago, a child was born who, by age 30, would transform the world. Happy Birthday Isaac Newton!”

“This year, what do all the world’s Muslims and Jews call December 25th? Thursday.”tyson

“Merry Christmas to all. A Pagan holiday (BC) becomes a Religious holiday (AD). Which then becomes a Shopping holiday (USA).”

Come on, those were funny indeed.  But of course, Christians all over complained that the scientist was insulting their religion.

He responded to the criticism with logic, as if that would make a difference to these people:  “If a person actually wanted to express anti-Christian sentiment, my guess is that alerting people of Isaac Newton’s birthday would appear nowhere on the list.”

Let’s face it, the first two there are standard jokes a stand-up comedian would tell.  You start off saying something wherein everyone knows where you’re going, and then boom, you hit them with the unexpected punch.  The third is just an observation about the commercialization of Christmas that even Christians should agree with.

Tyson, like the majority of scientists, is an atheist although he never uses that word to describe himself.  He says very clearly that he thinks faith and reason are irreconcilable.  “Everybody who tried to make proclamations about the physical universe based on Bible passages got the wrong answer,” he says.  He refuses the label “atheist” because he says that there shouldn’t be a word for not believing in something.  “I don’t play golf, so is there a word you can use for me as a non-golf player?”

Here, of course, is where I disagree with him. No one is being discriminated against for not playing golf, but atheists are looked down on in society and often have to fight for their rights.  Because of that, too many atheists are “in the closet” which, as we have seen with the gay rights movement, does nothing to help people realize that they’re really not that different from everyone else.

 

 

Editorial cartoon: Editing

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Psychic Predictions for 2014: How many were right?

It’s the end of the year and time for our annual review of professional psychic’s predictions for 2014 to see how many came true.

Well, admittedly, some did — but you don’t have to have super powers to predict things like this:psychic1

Trouble in Lebanon.  (Seriously, that’s the entire prediction.  You could make that prediction every year for the past thousand years and be correct.)

The stock market will hit a new high.  (I mean, most economists predicted that as well, and I’m pretty sure they don’t have supernatural powers.)

A comedian legend will die.  (Since there are hundreds of these, this one is sure to come true.  Why not just say which one?  I’m sure the psychic who did this one will point to Robin Williams to prove he was right, but if Williams hadn’t died, he’d point to Joan Rivers.  Or Sid Caeser.  Or David Brenner.  There’s always a famous comedy legend who will die every year.)

Garlic will be in the news.  (Wow, what a shocker.  Here in my little hometown, we have an annual Garlic Festival and sure enough, garlic was in the news!  How could he have known that?!!)

Lots of the predictions seem to be about celebrities and the Oscars.  The celebrity ones are almost always wrong, and the Oscar ones are almost always right — because by now, just about everyone knows what will probably win.  There are dozens of web pages devoted to looking at expert predictions and minor awards, so that even I can make an accurate prediction on what might win an Oscar this year.  (“Boyhood” for Best Picture; Michael Keaton for Best Actor; Julianne Moore for Best Actress; Richard Linklater for Best Director.  There.  Remember, if I am right, it means I have supernatural powers.)

But here are some of the predictions that were just absolutely wrong to the point of absurdity.

A nuclear attack will hit New York.

Civil war will break out in the United States.

Mt. St. Helens will erupt again.

Vladimir Putin wins the Nobel Peace Prize.

Pope Francis will appoint the first woman cardinal.

Raul Castro will die and communism in Cuba will end.

A strange luminous plankton will be seen under the sea that cannot be explained by scientists. This may be linked to a strange cosmic event – such as a Stella explosion and light in the sky – that changes animal behavior patterns.

Sometimes they hedge their bets by using words like “could” or “might.”  Seriously?  What kind of lame-ass prediction is that?

The ghost of Nelson Mandela could appear during a national holiday or major public event in South Africa.

A possible landing of a spaceship.

Erratic weather patterns and recorded earth shifts, together with unusual paranormal events could be the result of us having been watched by other species in different dimensions.

I could find not one surprising one, where someone actually predicted something exactly right that was more than just a general guess.  There was one prediction that Chelsea Clinton would be pregnant and have a baby boy.  In April, she announced she was pregnant so that wasn’t bad.  Then she had a baby girl.

Just for kicks, let’s look at the top stories of 2014 and see if any were predicted by these people:

The Top Ten Yahoo News Searches of 2014

  1. Ebola
  2. Robin Williams
  3. Republicans take the Senate and win big
  4. Leaked photos of celebrities
  5. Malaysia Airlines
  6. Ferguson
  7. Jodi Arias
  8. ISIS and Syria
  9. Ray Rice
  10. Obamacare

Nope.  You’d think they’d at least predict the celebrity one.  In fact, there are predictions that are completely the opposite of what actually happened. (“Texas will turn blue in the next election!”)

Every once in a while, one out of every hundred predictions made by these people will come true due to the vagueness of the prediction and the law of probabilities, and that’s the one they remind everyone about so people keep giving them money.

If a con artist scams someone out of their money, they can be prosecuted. That’s a crime.  How these people get away with the same sort of thing is beyond me.

Next:  Maybe we should look at Republican predictions for the year, which were just about as accurate.  (The economy will fail!  Obamacare will be a disaster!  Gas prices will rise!  Ebola will kill thousands in America!)

Editorial cartoon: More in common than we think

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Obama refuses to stereotype toys

Here’s another reason to like our President in general, even if you disagree with his policies.

The president was participating in the Marines’ “Toys for Tots” campaign and was donating gifts. When you donate, you place the boy toys in one bin and the girl toys in another. Mr. President was having none of that. He distributed the toys equally between the two boxes. He placed basketballs, sports toys and lego toys into the girl’s bin. “What, girls don’t like toys?” he responded when questioned.

Obama has raised two wonderful, educated, polite, and respectful girls with a wife he obviously loves. When Republicans criticize him for not supporting “family values” I just shake my head.

So Merry Christmas, boys and girls! May you play with whatever toy you want without someone telling you that the toy is a “girl’s toy” or a “boy’s toy.”

Editorial cartoon: Profiling again

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Why I Love Christmas

“Mike, you’re not a Christian.  Why are you celebrating Christmas?”

My 2014 Christmas tree!

My 2014 Christmas tree!       (That’s my cat Mrs. Conclusion admiring the shinies)

Well, gee, I’m also not a Pagan or a Wiccan, but I celebrate Halloween.  Some holidays have become secular so that everyone can enjoy them.  I know plenty of Jews who set up Christmas trees and exchange gifts.  (And, even though I am not Jewish either, I join them for the traditional Christmas Chinese dinner.)

You don’t have to be Christian to agree that much of what Jesus taught were good ideas.  Peace on earth, goodwill to all, caring for those less fortunate, being with your family — how can you be against that? Why wouldn’t you want everyone to share in that, no matter what their beliefs?  Not to mention festive lights, presents, Christmas parties, Santa Claus, and “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” (The Chuck Jones one, not the Jim Carey one).

That’s why it’s so frustrating to have angry Christians complaining that we have stolen their religion (“Put Christ back in Christmas!”).  Let’s ignore for the moment that Jesus was probably born in the spring (when shepherds watched their fields) and that much of this holiday was stolen from earlier religions. Wouldn’t a true Christian be happy that others are celebrating peace?  That others use this season to promote the values they supposedly teach?

I know many Christians who welcome all to celebrate with them, no matter their beliefs. I have a feeling that this Jesus guy would approve.

Editorial cartoon: Worst regifting ever