Superman marries Lois Lane

(crickets)

Batman has sex with Catwoman

(silence)

Spider-Man gets it on with Mary Jane

(yawn)

Ironman has sex with as many women as possible

(meh)

Superman’s son kisses another man

Proud Boys: OMIGOD can’t they keep this sexual stuff off the comics? I don’t want to know about their private lives, I just want to see them fighting! Why do they have to shove this crap in my face?