Republicans create conspiracies to explain losses

Conspiracies are an easy way to explain why you lost. “They’re all against me” allows you to justify in your mind why no one agrees with you — it clearly can’t be because you’re wrong. It can only because of that vast conspiracy.

We see this with all crazy conspiracy nuts, both liberal and conservative. But usually it’s just a small minority on either side — people who probably should be taking medication for their delusions.lizard_people-900x477-c-center

But lately, I’m seeing it from otherwise rational people, and especially among conservatives. “We have all these scandals involving Hillary Clinton — whitewater, Benghazi, emails, fixing elections — and none of them stick. Clearly, there is a vast left-wing conspiracy by the media to cover all this up!”

Or maybe those “scandals” only exist in your head.

The GOP has spent literally years and millions of dollars digging up and investigating anything they can to bring down Hillary — and have come up empty. They grab hold of any minor little statement and try to blow it up into something it isn’t, and when that doesn’t work, instead of saying “Guess we were wrong” they get all paranoid.

Usually that kind of thinking is only found in the “lizard people control our government, wake up sheeple” nuts. The right-wing news media keeps this alive though, legitimizing it, turning it mainstream. And it is hurting our democracy.

Part of it is also explained by a general tendency on the right to lack empathy toward anyone who doesn’t think like them. Remember in the last election when the GOP was shocked that Romney lost, despite every poll showing Obama would win?  “But everyone I know voted for Romney!” many actually said. The inability to consider that the other side may have some good points leads you to this kind of thinking. (Not that there aren’t Democrats who do the same thing, but certainly not to the level we see on the right.)

Now their Presidential candidate is saying everything is rigged, because he can’t explain otherwise why he is losing. I blame the lizard people.

The Illuminati Killed Scalia!

All the evidence is there, clearly. How can you sheeple not see it? It must be the chemtrails Obama is spraying into the air.

Look, Obama wanted him dead and we all know Obama runs the Illuminati (I mean, I don’t think I need to go into the obvious evidence for that). antonin_scalia3-620x412And Obama is clever — he has a lot of enemies, and he is throwing us off his track by having someone near the bottom of his enemies list killed instead of ones at the top! Further, instead of having Scalia killed near the start of Obama’s term in order to prevent Scalia from voting against Obama’s wishes (as he has done for seven years), he decided to wait until his term is almost up where the death does him the least amount of good!

What a distraction! Good thing we aren’t going to fall for that (mostly because our tinfoil hats prevent the chemtrails and hidden radio waves from brainwashing us).

Obama is even clever enough to plan this at a time when Scalia was surrounded by his friends instead of when he was alone in his home. Obviously, he used mind wave technology to make the friends hear Scalia say that he didn’t feel well just before he went to bed and then to have all of the friends not notice the ninja assassins creeping into Scalia’s bedroom. But we’re not fooled!

It’s perfect! It’s so perfect because absolutely no one, including his own family, thinks there was anything suspicious about an overweight 78-year old dying in his sleep, and so have they have not requested an autopsy.

Clearly Obama did this. Who else would want Scalia dead?

No. Wait. I just realized. Who would most want Scalia dead? Scalia, the “strict constructionalist” who could convince a majority of the court that someone born in Canada should not be considered a “natural born citizen” and thus ineligible to be President? Someone from Texas, maybe (where Scalia died)?

The plot thickens!

Why do people believe conspiracy theories?

While working on my next novel, I spent some time researching conspiracy theories.  Why do otherwise reasonable people believe in them, and especially the ones that are so easily debunked?

What I found was that conspiracy theories provide a comforting way to explain evil in the world.  Like people who find comfort in their religion, conspiracy theorists find comfort in knowing that evil can be explained, that it’s done by someone else, and therefore they cannot be held responsible.  It’s a simple answer to a complex world.

Belief in grand conspiracies is not limited to political view.  I have some liberal friends who are convinced that George W. Bush masterminded the 9/11 attacks, aliens are hidden in Area 51, and that the moon landing never happened.  They are just as convinced in their view, despite all evidence to the contrary, as the right-wingers who are certain that Obama was born in Kenya, that the government is going to take everyone’s guns away, and that something illegal happened in Benghazi.  (I still haven’t figured out what exactly they claim is the conspiracy with that last one, but they’re convinced it’s one nonetheless).

At a press conference yesterday, one of the loonies grabbed the mike and warned us all that 9/11 was a government plot.  Gee, thanks, Crazy Man!  Without you telling us, we would have never have taken such a claim seriously.  Your wonderful presentation has turned believers into all of us.


If you find yourself as one of these believers, please ask why you are so willing to accept these things without proof.  (Ha ha!  I’m joking, of course.  These guys all think they have “proof” and we’re just too stupid to see it — or more likely, we’re all part of the conspiracy, too!  Dun dun DUN!)

Now do not read this post to mean that I think there are no such things as conspiracies.  Of course there are — businesses conspire to set prices, drug pushers conspire with police officers to make sales and not be arrested, and so on — people conspire every day.  I am referring to the huge major Illuminati-type of massive conspiracies that logically just cannot exist.

Oswald shot Kennedy — From Area 51!

It’s the 50th anniversary of the Kennedy assassination and the conspiracy theories continue.

When I was young, I loved reading about conspiracies. kennedy ufo UFOs, the Kennedy assassination, the Loch Ness Monster — they all interested me.  I was completely skeptical about the official version of the story.

As I grew, I realized what a hypocrite I was being.  I was not subjecting the conspiracy theories to the same skepticism I applied to everything else.   Because I wanted to believe in these things so bad, and because they were often easy answers to complicated issues, I was nieve and accepted things without significant proof.  (Insert your own comment about religious beliefs here.)

I’ve also learned, as a lawyer, that every incident will have various stories that contradict each other and make things seem different than what they appear.  Anything you look at in enough detail will provide things that make it ripe for conspiracy theories.

Plus there are many conspiracy books out there that are just full of lies. Exciting lies that sell books. I used to love reading books by John Keel — “The Mothman Prophecies” was one of his. His books were with all the UFO books in the library and were presented as researched factual accounts. I later learned he was laughing all the way to the bank, and had made up most of his evidence. When they finally made a film of “The Mothman Prophecies” they made no pretense of it being anything other than fiction. But for a long time when I was a kid, I was sure it was all real.

Of course, there really are secret conspiracies.  Usually they are money-related conspiracies, involving insider trading, banks conspiring to sell worthless mortgages, and bribes to get around regulations.  But, as I pointed out before, huge conspiracies of this type are really hard to hide.

If Oswald was innocent, then why did he run after the assassination? Why did he kill the cop who confronted him? It’s not as if it is impossible for him to have done the shooting …

Does that mean there wasn’t something else going on? No, because there are still too many unanswered questions, such as why Jack Ruby, who really had no stake in this, would go out of his way to shoot Oswald. Looked more like a mob silencing to me.

But these days I won’t jump to conclusions without knowing for sure. Just because something is possible doesn’t mean I should believe it.

Inconsistent conspiracy theories

Ever notice how sometimes the very same people who proclaim that our government is completely incompetent and run by morons are the same ones who are convinced that this same incompetent government was able to pull off the greatest hoaxes mankind has ever seen? There’s something amazing in the conspiracy-addled mind that can hold these two inconsistencies together without noticing.open-uri20150422-20810-s1q5sn_ecb74152

The thing that bugs me most about these government conspiracy theories are that they don’t make sense from a human standard. If the government really did have aliens hidden in Area 51, you’d think someone involved over the past 50 years would have revealed this, written a book, and became rich. That happens now with government secrets of a much smaller scale — you’d think with all the people who have to have been involved in this, someone would have produced some proof by now.

After all, our government is pretty bad at keeping secrets. It really is incompetent in many areas. And between the press and the internet and cameras everywhere and whistleblowers and insiders talking, we know a lot about what our government does. And that’s a very good thing.

Still the crazy ideas continue.

At least this mindset is an equal opportunity employer. There are conservatives who are convinced Obama was born in Kenya and liberals who are convinced we faked the moon landing.

This is not to say that there aren’t minor conspiracies going on all the time — especially concerning money, price-fixing, insider trading, and so on. But nothing on the scale of the “9/11 was an inside job” mentality or the “government wants to take all your guns and install a military dictatorship” delusion.