All the evidence is there, clearly. How can you sheeple not see it? It must be the chemtrails Obama is spraying into the air.

Look, Obama wanted him dead and we all know Obama runs the Illuminati (I mean, I don’t think I need to go into the obvious evidence for that). And Obama is clever — he has a lot of enemies, and he is throwing us off his track by having someone near the bottom of his enemies list killed instead of ones at the top! Further, instead of having Scalia killed near the start of Obama’s term in order to prevent Scalia from voting against Obama’s wishes (as he has done for seven years), he decided to wait until his term is almost up where the death does him the least amount of good!

What a distraction! Good thing we aren’t going to fall for that (mostly because our tinfoil hats prevent the chemtrails and hidden radio waves from brainwashing us).

Obama is even clever enough to plan this at a time when Scalia was surrounded by his friends instead of when he was alone in his home. Obviously, he used mind wave technology to make the friends hear Scalia say that he didn’t feel well just before he went to bed and then to have all of the friends not notice the ninja assassins creeping into Scalia’s bedroom. But we’re not fooled!

It’s perfect! It’s so perfect because absolutely no one, including his own family, thinks there was anything suspicious about an overweight 78-year old dying in his sleep, and so have they have not requested an autopsy.

Clearly Obama did this. Who else would want Scalia dead?

No. Wait. I just realized. Who would most want Scalia dead? Scalia, the “strict constructionalist” who could convince a majority of the court that someone born in Canada should not be considered a “natural born citizen” and thus ineligible to be President? Someone from Texas, maybe (where Scalia died)?

The plot thickens!