Oh Noes! Trump has sued us! Right at midterms!

Oh no! Trump has filed a lawsuit claiming that Hillary Clinton and the Democrats (and anyone else he can throw in there) conspired to tie his campaign into Russia!

Now the Democrats will have to produce the evidence they have linking Trump to Russia and can subpoena records and obtain discovery from him in the process as well as requiring him to testify in depositions under oath, which he can’t refuse since he’s the one who filed the lawsuit!

In order to defend against this, the poor Democrats will have to show that in Trump’s four years in office, he constantly took actions to support Russia over the interests of the United States!

My goodness, he really threw us in the briar patch this time, didn’t he?

How terrible for us that people will be constantly reminded on the news about the Trump connection with Russia (during a war where Russia is now hated by a majority of Americans). And right at the time of midterms!

(Trump, of course, will use this as a fundraiser to get his supporters to give him lots of money which he tells them will go for the cost of the lawsuit but in the small print will say that it won’t, just like he did last time… or else he’ll scam them by not letting them realize their donation repeats weekly. That’s what dishonest grifters do, you know.)

I’m so worried that this will dominate headlines for months and keep the issue in the minds of all the voters. Oh me oh my, pass the smelling salts, I think I’m going to faint.