“Obamacare will destroy our economy, take away our freedoms, and bring about Death Panels!” “Gays want to destroy your marriage and turn your kids into homosexuals!” “Al Qaeda is coming to kill us all!”
Republicans know that the way to win elections is through fear. Fear makes people react immediately, in a reflective way, without taking the time to analyze the situation. People who are afraid vote more than those who are not. This is a fact.
With the help of their propaganda arm (a/k/a Fox News), they are continuing with this stragety — the problem is that the previous scare tactics aren’t working. Obamacare is doing just fine; gay marriage hasn’t hurt anyone; Al Qaeda is no longer a serious threat …
So they’ve come up with some new ones this year. “Ebola will spread and murder your family!” “Isis is coming to kill us all!” “Immigrant children coming over our border are infected with ebola and are actually terrorists, too!” (That last one always gets me. It’s really quite creative.)
The problem is with we Democrats. You see, we tend to try to appeal to the head instead of the heart (or maybe, as Colbert puts it, the “gut”). And that’s one of the reasons we don’t do as well at election time even though we outnumber the Republicans — our voters aren’t scared enough, and so they stay at home.
So I suggest a few Democratic scare tactics.
“A crazed conservative white guy with easy access to guns is going to kill you!” (This is, of course, extremely more likely in America than your chance of being killed by a Muslim terrorist.)
“Bad guys want to control your personal life and tell you who you can marry!” (Also true.)
“Big Brother police forces want to turn America into a police state!” (A bit of an exaggeration but hey, not necessarily a lie.)
“Invasive and unnecessary medical procedures will cause you great pain for no legitimate purpose!” (Yep, the GOP favors anything to discourage abortions no matter how needless.)
So help me out here. Surely we can think of our own scare tactics.
A Las Vegas chapel that performs Elvis-themed weddings is refusing to marry gays because it would destroy the sanctity of marriage.
While other chapels are busily advertising that Vegas welcomes the extra business gay marriages will bring to the state, this particular place refuses on religious grounds — which would be a valid objection if they were a religious organization.
You see, a church can refuse to perform marriages for anyone. You don’t have a right to be married by a church. If the church doesn’t want to perform gay marriages (or interracial marriages or marriages between different religions or anything else that they think violates their beliefs) there’s nothing you can do about it.
But a Vegas Elvis chapel is a business. They do not have the power to discriminate.
Remember that bakery that refused to make wedding cakes for gay couples and ultimately ended up closing down? Yeah, it’s like that. Business owners can’t tell gays they don’t have the right to sit at their lunch counter no matter how much their religion tells them it’s OK to discriminate.
So the Elvis weddings will either obey the law or close down — or maybe, like the bakers, be forced out of business through lawsuits. The owner — a hard-headed woman — will be all shook up. There will be crying in the chapel, but in the end, we will all sing Viva Las Vegas!
The good news is that soon there won’t be any states left for me to write “X joins the 21st Century” posts any more.