Hey, remember those fun-loving evil bakers who claimed they were being discriminated against because they were not allowed to discriminate against other people? And how the court said, “You know, that sure seems to violate the law. Pay the fine.”? Remember them?
Are you shocked to learn that they are refusing to pay the fine? Like bigot Kim Davis, they claim that God’s Law is more important than United States’ law (and of course, only their version of “God’s law” since there are plenty of Christians who think these people are absolute jerks).
If you ask these bakers where in “God’s Law” it talks about gay marriage, they can’t answer you because, you know, it’s not there. Jesus said nothing about it. He did, however, talk an awful lot about greed and how that was a terrible sin.
You see, these bakers were pretty smart about one thing: They got a lot of rubes to contribute to their “legal fund” and now they’re sitting on half a million dollars. You’d think that paying a fine would count as a “legal cost” but geez, that would mean they’d have to give up a small percentage of that lovely cash.
No, that cash is much better used elsewhere. Since Jesus told us all we should be giving to the poor and helping charity, it will go there.
Ha ha! Just kidding! Of course they’re not giving a cent to charity!
Bigotry is very profitable these days.
Angering Californian residents everywhere, NASA today announced that Mars has water. And in liquid form, not ice.
“The existence of liquid water, even if it is super salty briny water, gives the possibility that if there’s life on Mars, that we have a way to describe how it might survive,” said NASA.
This is pretty big news for astronomy nerds like me, because it greatly increases the possibility of finding life elsewhere. I mean, I am certain there is other life — and even intelligent life — in the universe, but it would be nice to have some confirmation.
But now, let’s just celebrate a few of my favorite songs featuring Mars. The planet, not the god. This is a list from the top of my head, and I’ve probably forgotten quite a few. Got any additions?
Kim Davis, the Kentucky Clerk who has been lauded by conservative religious groups all over for her brave stand against equality in marriage, has finally come out of the closet and has gone through a transformation.
“I had been living a lie all those years,” she said. “While on the surface, I appeared as one thing to everyone, deep down inside I knew that my core being was completely different.”
She was one of the lucky ones who had friends who approved of her becoming “trans” and actively encouraged it. “We’re so happy for her,” said one Christian backer, showing the love and understanding that Jesus encouraged.
“It was difficult, but I have to admit that based on the inner desires I have, I can no longer deny who I am,” Davis said. “Yes, it is true. I am a Republican.”
The Republican party, with its goal of inequality and intolerance for those it deems sinful in the eyes of a book written thousands of years ago by ignorant shepherds, welcomed her with open arms. “Finally, at last, Ms. Davis can be who she really is, free from discrimination, and welcome in society without fear of being treated with hatred,” said a local GOP leader, adding, “I mean, it’s not like she’s one of those goddamn fags, after all.”