Things I Will Never Say

A few of my friends made some comments on Facebook recently about sentences you will never hear me say.  Thought I’d share them here.  (Plus that way I don’t have to write a blog post today).  I didn’t credit them here because I wasn’t sure everyone would want to be mentioned, but I appreciate the laughs from everyone!

5THINGS I WILL NEVER SAY

“I need to clean my gun.” 

“Nothing beats steak for dinner.”

“All right! Amazon has the first season of Duck Dynasty on Blue Ray for 20% off!”

“I agree with Rush Limbaugh.”

“The Miley Cyrus concert was off the chain!”

“I started taking steroids because the gym was taking away too much time from my training dogs for fighting.”

“Who wants to come over to my house to watch the Super Bowl?”

“I need a new pair of Air Jordans.”

“Cartoons are for children.”

“Less cowbell.”

“The socialist government wants to take away our God-given right to bear arms!”

“Books?  I don’t read books.”

“Judge, my client is clearly guilty and the Constitution is worthless and outdated, so let’s get on with it.”

“Man, the Beatles suck.”

“I’d vote for Ted Cruz;  I just wish he was more conservative.”

“I hate when people post pictures of their cats.”

“Don’t Bogart that joint, my friend.”

“Dr. Dre is all right, I guess, but nothing beats the Wu Tang Clan.”

“Bless me Father, for I have sinned.”

“I’m not going to post on Facebook for an entire half hour.”

 

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