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Obama’s Time Machine

Obama has been using his Time Machine again.  And this time, in coordination with his vampire abilities to charm people into doing his bidding.*   168349

The latest example where he had used his Time Machine was when he went back to 2008 and charmed President George W. Bush into signing a treaty requiring the United States to pull all of its troops out of Iraq by 2011.   That is the only explanation I can think of to explain why all the pundits over at Fox News keep blaming Obama.  (Well, come on, they aren’t going to blame Bush, are they?  He declared “Mission Accomplished” almost immediately after the Iraq war had begun so it can’t be his fault!  Remember, Donald Rumsfield said it would last “six months, top.”)

Where Obama went wrong was in not staying there forever, according to John McCain (who also had supported a war that he proclaimed would be over by 2004.)

These guys who were all massively wrong about what would happen in Iraq are now blaming Obama for their mistakes over ten years ago.   Why anyone would listen to any one these incredibly wrong people have to say is beyond me.

 

* Does this look like a blatant attempt to promote my latest book “Bloodsuckers:  A Vampire Runs For President”?  Thought so.

Editorial cartoon: It’s alive?

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We can afford the wars, just not the veterans

Senator Jeff Sessions has never met a war he didn’t like.  Iraq?  Afghanistan?  No problem!  Don’t worry about how we’ll pay for it.

But the veterans who served in those wars?  Taking care of them, as we promised? Well, that’s an “entitlement” that we should not be spending money on.Sotomayor

And you know, ultimately spending up to $6 trillion dollars is a bit much, especially with our deficit.  I can see why he was against such a huge amount.  Oh, wait.  My bad.  $6 trillion is the estimated total cost of the Iraq war.  How silly of me.  That’s different.  Sessions had no problem voting for that.

Republicans who claim to be “fiscally conservative” rarely are — they are against tax rates that would balance the budget because it would hurt huge corporations and their rich friends and the only thing they ever want to cut are government services to people.  It’s rare to find one who would cut a military plane or tank we don’t need.

And the ones who claim to “support our troops” often only do so until they enlist. After that, they won’t spend money so our troops can have the armor or medical benefits they need.  (It’s kind of like how they are “pro-life” at least until the baby is born, at which time, you’re on your own.)

Editorial cartoon: Rebottling the genie

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Surprised about Iraq?

“Iraq wasn’t a threat to the US when we invaded it in 2003, but thousands of lives and billions of dollars later, it finally is.” – Andy Borowitz

All experts told us that Sadaam Hussein had kept the three religious factions of Iraq from a civil war through his strong-arm tactics.  Even before George W. Bush lied to us about Sadaam, leading to thousands of American deaths and being considered as a war criminal by anyone who understands the term, we knew this to be true. BushMissionAccomplished I recall that after Sadaam fell, there were experts saying the best thing we could do would be to split the country into three parts or else there would be a civil war.  Bush refused, and more Americans died.  

Obama kept his promise to get out of there (a decision that was supported by the vast majority of Americans), and the civil war that everyone predicted has now happened.  (Seriously, did anyone with a brain think that democracy would suddenly flower?)

So now the Republicans are blaming Obama.  Apparently they would prefer that we stayed there and kept getting Americans killed to postpone the inevitable.  Not one is blaming Bush for his illegal war, his “Mission Accomplished” claim, and his pure ineptitude for getting us into an unnecessary and pointless war.

 

 

 

Editorial cartoon: Watch Dog

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Immigrant Policy was Not the Reason

Quick!  We need a reason to explain Eric Cantor’s loss!  It doesn’t make sense!

Hmmm, his opponent talked a lot about immigration!  That must be the reason.  We’re the press;  we have to have a reason now!  There’s no time to analyze it, what do you think we are, journalists?  Immigration reform!  That’s it!  Those people in Virginia just hate immigrants.  There, we’re done.Eric Cantor

What’s that?  Poll after poll show that the people of that district support immigration reform?  And by a huge margin?  Well, too late — we’ve already made our pronouncement.  Immigration.  That’s it.  All Republicans should now take hard-line approaches to immigration if they don’t want to lose their primaries.

Approval ratings?  What?  You think that the fact that Cantor’s disapproval rating in his district was 63% is important?  That only 30% supported him and that most people would have voted for Mickey Mouse if he were on the ballot in opposition to Cantor?   That his constituents were mad at Cantor for shutting down the government and for ignoring the needs of his district in his quest for national attention?

Nah, that can’t be it.  And it’s too complicated.  We’re the news media — we need a quick and easy explanation.

Immigration.  That’s it.  Stop!  We’re not listening la la la la la la la la…

Editorial cartoon: Under a rock

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Homosexuality = Alcoholism

Texas Governor Rick Perry understands what the gays are going through.   That gay desire?  It’s just like alcoholism.  perry

“I may have the genetic coding that I’m inclined to be an alcoholic, but I have the desire not to do that, and I look at the homosexual issue the same way,” he said.

That’s why he supports the Texas Republican platform which calls for gays to be “treated” in order to “cure” them — a stand that has been rejected by every psychiatric group since the mid 70s.

This is in stark contrast to other states, which have specifically banned such fraudulent actions.  Anyone who says they can “cure” homosexuality is a con artist.

But there is good news in this statement:  Perry is admitting, perhaps for the first time, that being gay is not a choice — that no one chooses their sexuality.  It’s in their “genetic coding.”

The bad news is that he still considers homosexual acts as wrong, from which one should refrain.  Why?  Well, because the Bible, of course.  We need religion in our laws.  Except that terrible, awful Sharia law.  Only our religion should be in the laws, because ‘Merica.

I wonder how he would feel if Texas Republicans decided that heterosexuals needed counseling to cure them from performing sexual acts they disagree with?  “You may be genetically coded to enjoy sex in positions other than missionary, but we can treat you so that you no longer have those desires.”  Let’s see how well that goes over.

Editorial cartoon: Breaking News!