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A note for April Foolers

A clever April Fool’s joke is always welcome, especially when it’s just plain funny, like an Onion article.morais_woody allen puppet 615

The kind of April Fool’s joke where you say a lie and then after everyone believes you, you say “April Fools!” is generally not appreciated. It’s not really clever and certainly distracts from people who really do have serious things happen to them tomorrow. Besides, anyone can do that. It doesn’t take skill or talent to say “Oh no, I broke my leg! Ha ha, April Fools.”

However, if your April Fool’s day lie is humorous, very clever, and most likely not believable, I’d love to read it. A good laugh is always welcome. (“I’ve just been asked to be Trump’s running mate!”)

Anyway, please be clever if you’re posting an April Fool’s joke. Thanks.

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Editorial cartoon: Leadership

Matt Bors

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Trump Getting Desperate

“Jesus Christ, what do I have to say before you guys stop supporting me?” Trump asked at a rally recently.

“I’ve said before that I could shoot someone and you’d still vote for me but I was exaggerating — but now I think it’s true,” He said as he mopped his brow and cursed softly under his breath.

“I mean, come on — I’ve called for people to be beaten up at my rallies, said that women who have abortions should be jailed, made fun of a reporter’s handicap, called Mexican immigrants rapists, and said racist things about the President. My campaign manager beats up women and sadtrumpI support him, and I’ve been endorsed by the KKK. What more can I do?

“And policy positions? I made huge promises without once saying how I would accomplish anything. I’ve practically admitted I know nothing about foreign policy.

“And you Bible thumpers out there still support me, even after I misquote your holy book and can’t name a single part of it? Jesus, I’d think you’d hate me already for my adultery and many wives. I mean, isn’t that one of your top ten sins or something?”

Trump bowed his head and seemed to be holding back tears. “For fuck’s sake, I never wanted to be President,” he mumbled. “I just wanted some attention.”

The crowd waved its confederate flags and cheered, once more ignoring everything he said.

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Editorial cartoon: For the birds

Ann Telnaes

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Birdie 2016

No, a bird landing on a podium doesn’t mean anything. It’s not a sign from God. There’s no secret symbolism (this isn’t a movie or a book!).

It’s just a bird.

Still pretty cool, though. And the best part is that it inspired a bunch of funny memes.  #FeeltheBerd

bernie bird

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tweet

snow white

flip

good and evil

 

 

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Editorial cartoon: No double standard here!

Matt Bors

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The real question about Cruz’s affairs

The National Inquirer is reporting that Ted Cruz has had multiple affairs, including one with a Trump staffer.cruz

Now this probably won’t matter much to Republican evangelical voters, who have already shown, with their support of Trump, that to them, “Christian values” really don’t exist.

It should be pointed out that there are no hard facts in this story, but then again, the Inquirer broke the Lewinski/Clinton scandal, the John Edwards scandal, and even the Gary Hart scandal — so there may be something there.

In any event, this all avoids the big question:

How desperate do you have to be to have sex with Ted Cruz?

 

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Editorial cartoons: 3/5 of a term

Matt Davies

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I hereby endorse Trump for the Republican nomination

I, Michael A. Ventrella, being of sound mind and sound body, hereby endorse Trump for the Republican nomination. I urge all my Republican friends to vote for Trump.

Here’s why:trump

1.  If elected, he will be one of the least effective Presidents. Both Democrats and Republicans will refuse to work with him.

2.  He’s better than Cruz. I mean, seriously, everyone hates Cruz but what makes Cruz scarier is that he could possibly accomplish some of his evil plan.

3.  Trump really doesn’t stand for anything other than Trump. He has held liberal views in the past and is holding conservative ones now because it gets him attention. I’d rather have that than a religious crusader like Cruz who thinks he’s doing God’s will. Trump just thinks he’s God.

4.  If Trump is the nominee, every poll shows that the Democrats are a shoo-in. He’s the most popular among the extremists in the Republican party and of all the possible GOP candidates does the worst in a head-to-head match-up with either Bernie or Hillary. (Bernie does better against him in case you’re wondering.)

5.  With Trump as the candidate, the Democrat’s chances rise for taking back not only the Senate but also the House.

So here’s to Trump: Long may he continue to destroy the Republican party.

 

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Editorial cartoon: Duty calls

Clay Bennett