Entertainment

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Top Animated Films (Adjusted for Inflation)

“Frozen” just set the record for highest grossing animated film of all time (as of 2014, when this was originally posted), but these things can be misleading.  After all, you have to adjust for inflation.

I used to edit and write for a magazine called “Animato!” which was about animated films, and we would periodically update the “adjusted for inflation” chart.  For today’s purposes, we’ll use Box Office Mojo’s list and statistics.   Frozen_castposter

Not surprisingly, “Snow White and the Seven Dwarves” wins this one.  It was a huge success back in the days when there was no TV and everyone went to the movies.  It also has the benefit of being re-released every ten years or so, bringing in a new generation and racking up even more dollars.  This was the standard for almost all Disney animated films until video came along. (And the list below does not take into consideration video sales.)

This list is for domestic films so doesn’t take into consideration world wide sales, which would be next to impossible to calculate based on inflation.

To make matters worse, since the pandemic, more films are being released through streaming services only, so there are no “ticket sales” to place them on this list. Someday maybe there will be a way to calculate views from downloads and compare them to how many tickets were sold at theaters but we don’t have that yet — and that’s why on this list you won’t see some films released in the last few years that were very popular but were not in theaters.

The Box Office Mojo chart looks like this (updated September 27, 2022):

  1. Snow White and the Seven Dwarves (1937)
  2. 101 Dalmations (1961)
  3. The Lion King (1994)
  4. Fantasia (1941)
  5. The Jungle Book (1967)
  6. Sleeping Beauty (1959)
  7. Shrek 2 (2004)
  8. Pinocchio (1940)
  9. The Incredibles 2 (2018)
  10. Bambi (1942)
  11. Finding Nemo (2003)
  12. The Lion King (2019)
  13. Cinderella (1950)
  14. Finding Dory (2016)
  15. Lady and the Tramp (1955)
  16. Toy Story 3 (2010)
  17. Aladdin (1992)
  18. Frozen 2 (2019)
  19. Monsters, Inc. (2001)
  20. Frozen (2013)
  21. Toy Story 4 (2019)
  22. Toy Story (1995)
  23. Toy Story 2 (1999)
  24. Shrek (2001)
  25. Shrek the Third (2007)
  26. Despicable Me 2 (2013)
  27. Peter Pan (1953)
  28. Beauty and the Beast (1991)
  29. The Secret Life of Pets (2016)
  30. Inside Out (2015)
  31. The Incredibles (2004)
  32. Minions (2015)
  33. Zootopia (2016)
  34. Up (2009)
  35. Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)
  36. Cars (2006)
  37. A Bug’s Life (1998)
  38. Tarzan (1999)
  39. Monsters University (2013)
  40. Despicable Me (2010)
  41. Pocahontas (1995)
  42. The Lego Movie (2014)
  43. Wall-E (2008)
  44. Alvin and the Chipmunks (2007)
  45. Sing (2016)
  46. Ice Age (2002)
  47. Shrek Forever After (2010)
  48. Madagascar (2005)
  49. Happy Feet (2006)
  50. Ratatouille (2007)
  51. Kung Fu Panda (2008)
  52. The Grinch (2018)
  53. Brave (2012)
  54. Ice Age: The Meltdown (2006)
  55. Despicable Me 3 (2017)
  56. Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeaquel (2009)
  57. Moana (2016)
  58. How to Train Your Dragon (2010)
  59. The Lorax (2012)
  60. Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted (2012)
  61. Big Hero 6 (2014)
  62. The Simpsons Movie (2007)
  63. Monsters vs. Aliens (2009)
  64. The Little Mermaid (1989)
  65. Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs (2009)
  66. Shark Tale (2004)
  67. Mulan (1998)
  68. Dinosaur (2000)
  69. Tangled (2010)
  70. Lilo and Stitch (2002)
  71. Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa (2008)
  72. The Rescuers (1977)
  73. Cars 2 (2011)
  74. Over the Hedge (2006)
  75. Wreck It Ralph (2012)
  76. Coco (2017)
  77. The Croods (2013)
  78. The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)
  79. Ralph Breaks the Internet (2018)
  80. Hercules (1997)
  81. Horton Hears a Who (2008)
  82. How to Train Your Dragon 2 (2014)
  83. The Rugrats Movie (1998)
  84. Chicken Little (2005)
  85. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)
  86. The Prince of Egypt (1998)
  87. Ice Age: Continental Drift (2012)
  88. Kung Fu Panda 2 (2011)
  89. Space Jam (1996)
  90. The Fox and the Hound (1981)
  91. The Spongebob Movie: Sponge Out of Water (2015)
  92. Robots (2005)
  93. The Lego Batman Movie (2017)
  94. Chicken Run (2000)
  95. The Boss Baby (2017)
  96. Hotel Transylvania 2 (2015)
  97. Antz (1998)
  98. Puss in Boots (2011)
  99. Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation (2018)
  100. Megamind (2010)
  101. Hotel Transylvania (2012)
  102. Bee Movie (2007)
  103. The Smurfs (2011)
  104. Oliver & Company (1988)
  105. How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World (2019)
  106. Rio (2011)
  107. The Secret Lives of Pets 2 (2019)
  108. Trolls (2016)
  109. Cars 3 (2017)
  110. Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011)
  111. Pokemon (1999)
  112. Kung Fu Panda 3 (2016)
  113. Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs (2009)
  114. The Emperor’s New Groove (2000)
  115. Pokemon Detective Pikachu (2019)
  116. Bolt (2008)
  117. Rio 2 (2014)
  118. Rango (2011)
  119. Sonic the Hedgehog (2020)
  120. The Peanuts Movie (2015)
  121. Atlantis: The Lost Empire (2001)
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Oscar Predictions 2014

I’m one of those unusual straight guys who doesn’t know who won the Super Bowl, but can tell you what won Best Picture for the past thirty years.

Below are my predictions for tonight’s show.  This is not my list of what I want to win, but merely what I think will win.  Oscar loves serious movies about important topics and movies about movies.  (That’s why “Argo” and “The Artist” won the past two years).  “12 Years a Slave” has that Oscar seriousness the voters like.  Even if it’s not the Best Picture Of The Year, sometimes Oscar likes to pat itself on the back for tacking serious issues, which is why it is rare that films like “The Return of the King” win.  (And why “The Hobbit” was not nominated for best makeup this year.)

Feel free to post your predictions below and we’ll compare tomorrow.

Best Picture:  12 Years a Slave

Best Director:  Alfonso Cuaron (Gravity) oscar

Best Actor:  Matthew McConaughey (Dallas Buyers Club)

Best Actress:  Cate Blanchett (Blue Jasmine)

Best Supporting Actor:  Jared Leto (Dallas Buyers Club)

Best Supporting Actress: Lupita Nyongo (12 Years a Slave)

Best Original Screenplay:  American Hustle

Best Adapted Screenplay:  12 Years a Slave

Best Animated Feature:  Frozen

Best Foreign Film:  The Great Beauty

Best Production Design:  The Great Gatsby

Best Cinematography:  Gravity

Best Documentary Feature:  20 Feet from Stardom

Best Costume Design:  The Great Gatsby

Best Editing:  Gravity

Best Makeup and Hairstyling:  Dallas Buyers Club

Best Score:  Gravity

Best Sound Mixing:  Gravity

Best Sound Editing:  Gravity

Best Song:  Let it Go (Frozen)

Best Visual Effects:  Gravity

Best Animated Short:  Get a Horse!

Best Documentary Short:  The Lady in Number 6

Best Live Action Short:  The Voorman Problem

And now, my updated list of the films that won Best Picture and my choice of what should have won.  This is an entirely subjective list, although I did consider Oscar worthiness.  For instance, while “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” may be one of my favorite films, even I don’t think it deserved an Oscar.

Admittedly, I have not seen every single film on this list.  Sometimes I really don’t need to — I don’t have to see “The Greatest Show on Earth” to know that “Singin’ in the Rain” is better.  Just about every critic in the world would agree on that.

What Won What Should Have Won
1928 Wings The Circus
1929 Broadway Melody Steamboat Bill, Jr.
1930 All Quiet on the Western Front All Quiet on the Western Front
1931 Cimarron City Lights
1932 Grand Hotel Scarface
1933 Calvacade King Kong
1934 It Happened One Night It Happened One Night
1935 Mutiny on the Bounty Mutiny on the Bounty
1936 The Great Ziegfeld Modern Times
1937 The Life of Emile Zola Snow White & The Seven Dwarfs
1938 You Can’t Take it With You The Adventures of Robin Hood
1939 Gone With the Wind The Wizard of Oz
1940 Rebecca The Grapes of Wrath
1941 How Green Was My Valley Citizen Kane
1942 Mrs. Miniver Sullivan’s Travels
1943 Casablanca Casablanca
1944 Going My Way Double Indemnity
1945 The Lost Weekend Spellbound
1946 The Best Years of Our Lives It’s a Wonderful Life
1947 Gentleman’s Agreement Monsieur Verdoux
1948 Hamlet The Treasure of the Sierra Madre
1949 All the King’s Men All the King’s Men
1950 All About Eve Sunset Boulevard
1951 An American in Paris An American in Paris
1952 The Greatest Show on Earth Singin’ in the Rain
1953 From Here to Eternity From Here to Eternity
1954 On the Waterfront Rear Window
1955 Marty Mister Roberts
1956 Around the World in 80 Days The Searchers
1957 The Bridge on the River Kwai Witness for the Prosecution
1958 Gigi Touch of Evil
1959 Ben-Hur Some Like it Hot
1960 The Apartment Psycho
1961 West Side Story Judgment at Nuremberg
1962 Lawrence of Arabia Lawrence of Arabia
1963 Tom Jones Tom Jones
1964 My Fair Lady Dr. Strangelove
1965 The Sound of Music The Sound of Music
1966 A Man for All Seasons A Man for All Seasons
1967 In The Heat of the Night Bonnie and Clyde
1968 Oliver 2001: A Space Odyssey
1969 Midnight Cowboy Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid
1970 Patton M*A*S*H
1971 The French Connection A Clockwork Orange
1972 The Godfather The Godfather
1973 The Sting American Graffiti
1974 The Godfather Part 2 The Godfather Part 2
1975 One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
1976 Rocky Taxi Driver
1977 Annie Hall Annie Hall
1978 The Deer Hunter The Deer Hunter
1979 Kramer verses Kramer Apocalypse Now
1980 Ordinary People The Empire Strikes Back
1981 Chariots of Fire Raiders of the Lost Ark
1982 Gandhi ET
1983 Terms of Endearment The Right Stuff
1984 Amadeus Amadeus
1985 Out of Africa Brazil
1986 Platoon Platoon
1987 The Last Emperor Empire of the Sun
1988 Rain Man Rain Man
1989 Driving Miss Daisy Do The Right Thing
1990 Dances with Wolves Goodfellas
1991 The Silence of the Lambs The Silence of the Lambs
1992 Unforgiven Malcolm X
1993 Schindler’s List Schindler’s List
1994 Forrest Gump Pulp Fiction
1995 Braveheart The American President
1996 The English Patient Fargo
1997 Titanic Amistad
1998 Shakespeare in Love Saving Private Ryan
1999 American Beauty American Beauty
2000 Gladiator Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon
2001 A Beautiful Mind The Fellowship of the Ring
2002 Chicago The Two Towers
2003 The Return of the King The Return of the King
2004 Million Dollar Baby Kill Bill 2
2005 Crash Munich
2006 The Departed The Departed
2007 No Country for Old Men No Country For Old Men
2008 Slumdog Millionaire The Dark Knight
2009 The Hurt Locker Inglorius Basterds
2010 The King’s Speech The Social Network
2011 The Artist Hugo
2012 Argo Lincoln
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Top 5 Underrated Beatles Songs

So today, on the 50th anniversary of the Beatles’ appearance on the Ed Sullivan show — at the time, the largest TV audience ever — I’ll share my view on the top five underrated Beatles songs.beatles_12a

By “underrated” I mean they should be considered along with the more famous classics, and I think if any of these had been released as singles, they would be.

I didn’t count any song that had been on a Greatest Hits collection, although two of these songs were featured in the background of other songs on the Love album remix.

Final disclaimer:  Like all art, music is subjective.  One person’s masterpiece is another person’s trash.   Your mileage may vary.

In no particular order:

HEY BULLDOG

This was recorded around the same time as “Lady Madonna” and I think is far superior.   John threw this together in the studio and everyone pitched in ideas as a video crew filmed.  It was one of the last true group efforts, and George does one of his best solos and Paul’s bass really pushes the song forward.   After it was done, they gave it to the Yellow Submarine filmmakers who put it into the movie and then the song was cut for the American release of the film.  The only way you would have known this song existed is if you bought the Yellow Submarine soundtrack album, which few people did since it only had four new songs on it.  (The scene has been restored to the latest DVD releases of the film!)

AND YOUR BIRD CAN SING

This is another one of John’s and was on the excellent Revolver album, which has no bad songs whatsoever.    Engineer Geoff Emerick had developed their distinctive guitar style by that album (copied many times since by other bands) and it really shines on this classic.  Imagine how much John and George had to practice to get those parts done!

YOU NEVER GIVE ME YOUR MONEY

Paul, apparently inspired by John’s work on “Happiness is a Warm Gun”, decided to write his own song like that, with many different parts that all flow together into one.  I mean, you don’t really realize it while you’re listening, but the first bit (“you never give me your money”) is never repeated after two consecutive runs-through.  And we go right along, because it all fits so well.  Paul, of course, felt that he really should do another verse of “you never give me your money” so he stuck it in “Carry that Weight” near the end of the album instead.  Cheeky lad.  (Note that he continued to do these kinds of songs in his solo career, notably with “Uncle Albert / Admiral Halsey.”)

SEXY SADIE

This began as John’s comments on the Maharishi and that is what it was originally called.  He then  just replaced “Maharishi” with “Sexy Sadie.”  I love the feel of this song, from the spooky piano to the fade out with the solo that goes on and on, which is perfect.  (Not too short, not too long.)

TOMORROW NEVER KNOWS

Try to imagine what it was like in the music world in 1966 before the Beatles released “Revolver” with this song as the closer.  The top songs that week included “Wild Thing” by the Troggs; “Li’l Red Riding Hood” by Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs;  “Summer in the City” by the Lovin’ Spoonful; and “Hanky Panky” by Tommy James and the Shondells.  And then this comes over the loudspeakers.

The Beatles were once more pushing every envelope possible, experimenting in the studio in the way no one had done before, and, with this song, pretty handily creating what is still today known as “psychedelic music.” And more importantly, underneath of that is a really catchy tune. John wasn’t about to give up hooks for his experimentation. (Well, not until “Revolution 9” a few years later, anyway.)

So happy 50th anniversary, everyone. Now to go watch Paul and Ringo perform at the Ed Sullivan theater again…

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Alternate Disney Princesses

If you’re an artist, it seems like the way to get your name out there these days is to take the Disney Princesses and draw them in unusual styles.

You got your hipster princesses …

Hipster-Disney-Princesses

… and your steampunk princesses …

tumblr_l5teshZh6j1qzpwi0o1_500

… and your superhero princesses …

Superhero-Disney-Princesses

… and your Moulin Rogue princesses …

Moulin rogue

Then you have your princesses as the seven deadly sins …

Seven-Deadly-Sins-Disney-Princesses-2

… and as Tim Burton drawings …

Princesses--Tim-Burtinized--disney-princess-411667_1567_757

… and as Vogue models …

Vogue-Disney-Princesses-2

… and as Sailor Moon characters …

Disney-Princesses-disney-princess-6059671-1024-768

Not to mention as cute little kids …

children

… and deadly fighters …

Disney-Princess-Fighters-2

Of course, we can’t forget the princesses as hobbits …

disney-princess-hobbits-2-disney-princess-9060523-600-436_large

… or as zombies …

Zombie-Disney-Princesses-3

…or as grumpy cats …

grumpy cat

… and Nicholas Cage.

Cage

And of course, this being the internet, there are hundreds of pornographic Disney princesses out there too.  Do your own search.

Okay, okay, I know.  This has nothing to do with politics, but remember — I used to edit a magazine about animation (Animato!), so let me sneak things like this in every once in a while, hm?

Besides, my last post on the Disney Princesses constantly gets blog hits thanks to search engines… 😉

Of course, this leads to the real question:  Since when did Meg from “Hercules” and Esmerelda from “The Hunchback from Notre Dame” become princesses?   Apparently that word is being very broadly interpreted these days…  (For that matter, where is Princess Eilonwy from “The Black Cauldron”?)

And just to be clear:  Anastasia is not Disney!

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A Look Back at 2013 Predictions

Man, I wish I could get a job as a psychic.  Those guys get paid good money for making up crap.  psychic1

Here’s a web page that was posted last year with a summary of predictions made by professional psychics for 2013.  I could only find a few that actually came true, and these were all the kinds of predictions anyone could have made.  For instance:

Daniel Day Lewis nominated for an Oscar for Lincoln.

In a quasi shake-up, Jimmy Fallon is named host of NBC-TV’s Tonight Show, replacing Jay Leno.

New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo re-elected; Gov. Chris Christie wins re-election in New Jersey.

College students will find it harder and harder to find jobs.

Shocking, I know!  Who would have predicted any of these things, other than everybody?

Some psychics decided to go against the obvious and predict things like “the Red Sox will not be in the World Series” or “Surprising upsets at the Academy Awards: Bradley Cooper for best actor over Daniel Day Lewis. Sally Field for best actress. Lincoln for best picture and Quentin Tarantino for best director.”  (None of which happened.)

Here are top stories of 2013 according to Yahoo News:

  1. Jodi Arias trial
  2. Obamacare
  3. Boston Marathon bombing
  4. Royal baby birth
  5. George Zimmerman trial
  6. Syria Civil War
  7. North Korean Nuclear Threats
  8. New Pope
  9. Death of Nelson Mandela
  10. Paula Deen’s lawsuit

The only mention I could find of any of these was absolutely wrong:

Prince William and Kate will have a baby girl, whom many will believe is the reincarnation of Princess Diana.

Nothing else.

Man, how do I apply for this job?

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Paul McCartney’s Greatest Hits

I just am not feeling political today, so let’s talk about music instead.

Way back when, I gave the Beatles challenge, wherein I listed 100 songs the Beatles had written in the period of about seven years and challenged anyone to come up with any other group or composer who had written so many memorable songs in such a short period of time.Paul_McCartney_live_in_Dublin

So today I decided do the same with Paul McCartney’s solo work.

Of course the comparison is not valid;  Paul has had 43 years to come up with this list, not seven.  But you have to admit he’s written some pretty good songs.

There are some really bad ones, too.  If I never hear “Ebony and Ivory” again, all the better. Paul’s biggest problem tends to be lyrics, even today.  He needs a John Lennon challenging him to be his best and not settle for the first lyrics that come into his head.  (Some of his best post-Beatles lyrics came when he worked with Elvis Costello, one of the best lyricists of our day.)

As I worked on this list, I included all of the singles (even if I didn’t like them) plus album songs I really liked.  And then I surprised myself by only coming up with about 75 songs instead of 100. Just goes to show you that even Paul freakin’ McCartney couldn’t beat the Beatles even when given six times as much time.

Still, if you were making a CD of Paul’s 75 greatest hits, it would probably look like this. They’re listed in order of release date, and the number in parenthesis is the highest they reached on the Billboard chart if released as a single:

  1. Maybe I’m Amazed (10)
  2. Every Night
  3. Junk
  4. Teddy Boy
  5. Another Day (5)
  6. Too Many People
  7. Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey (1)
  8. Dear Boy
  9. Heart of the Country
  10. Monkberry Moon Delight
  11. Back Seat of My Car
  12. Tomorrow
  13. Give Ireland Back to the Irish (21)
  14. Mary Had a Little Lamb (28)
  15. Hi Hi Hi (10)
  16. Big Barn Bed
  17. My Love (1)
  18. Live and Let Die (2)
  19. Helen Wheels (10)
  20. Jet (7)
  21. Band on the Run (1)
  22. Mrs. Vandebilt
  23. Bluebird
  24. Junior’s Farm (3)
  25. Listen to What the Man Said (1)
  26. Letting Go (39)
  27. Venus and Mars / Rock Show (12)
  28. Magneto and Titanium Man
  29. Silly Love Songs (1)
  30. Let ‘Em In (3)
  31. Mull of Kintyre
  32. Girl’s School (33)
  33. With a Little Luck (1)
  34. I’ve Had Enough (25)
  35. London Town (39)
  36. Goodnight Tonight (5)
  37. Getting Closer (20)
  38. Arrow Through Me (29)
  39. Coming Up (1)
  40. Waterfalls
  41. Ebony and Ivory (1)
  42. Take It Away (10)
  43. Here Today
  44. Tug of War (53)
  45. Say Say Say (1)
  46. So Bad (23)
  47. Pipes of Peace
  48. No More Lonely Nights (6)
  49. Spies Like Us (7)
  50. Press (21)
  51. Stranglehold (81)
  52. Once Upon a Long Ago
  53. Back on My Feet
  54. My Brave Face (25)
  55. You Want Her Too
  56. This One (94)
  57. Figure of Eight (92)
  58. Hope of Deliverance (83)
  59. C’Mon People
  60. Off the Ground
  61. Mistress and Maid
  62. Young Boy
  63. The World Tonight (64)
  64. Beautiful Night
  65. From a Lover to a Friend
  66. Fine Line
  67. English Tea
  68. Jenny Wren
  69. Dance Tonight (69)
  70. Ever Present Past
  71. Mr. Bellamy
  72. The End of the End
  73. New
  74. Save Us
  75. Queenie Eye

What do you think?

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Merry Christmas!

“I bought my brother some gift wrap for Christmas. I took it to the Gift Wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.” – Steven Wright

“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” – Phyllis Diller

“I played Santa Claus many times, and if you don’t believe it, check out the divorce settlements awarded my wives.” – Groucho Marxgroucho claus

“In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it ‘Christmas’ and went to church; the Jews called it ‘Hanukkah’ and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say ‘Merry Christmas!’ or ‘Happy Hanukkah!’ or (to the atheists) ‘Look out for the wall!’” — Dave Barry

“The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.” – Jay Leno

“The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.” – Dennis Miller

“Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.” – W. C. Fields

“Ever wonder what people got Jesus for Christmas? It’s like, ‘Oh great, socks. You know I’m dying for your sins right? Yeah, but thanks for the socks! They’ll go great with my sandals. What am I, German?'” – Jim Gaffigan

“The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.” – Joan Rivers

“I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.” – Shirley Temple

“Let me see if I’ve got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn’t laundering illegal drug money?” – Tom Armstrong

“Roses are reddish, Violets are bluish, If it weren’t for Christmas, We’d all be Jewish.” – Benny Hill

“This past Christmas, I told my girlfriend for months in advance that all I wanted was an Xbox. That’s it. Beginning and end of list, Xbox. You know what she got me? A homemade frame with a picture of us from our first date together. Which was fine. Because I got her an Xbox.” – Anthony Jeselnik

“Merry Christmas, Nearly Everybody!” – Ogden Nash

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What’s your favorite “Christmas Carol”? (A poll)

Charles Dickens is one of my favorite authors, so you know I’m a fan of “A Christmas Carol.” axmascarol1971 There have been many great versions of it, and recently I asked my friends on Facebook what their favorite version was.

I have a feeling that for many people, it’s the version they first saw.  It’s the only way to explain “Scrooged,” a film that makes me cringe.

So now here’s your chance to vote.  The list below is in order based on the results of the informal Facebook poll, and I’ve added a few others just to fill out the list.  

Links to read about each entry:

Scrooged (1988)
Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol (1962)
A Christmas Carol (1938)
A Christmas Carol (1951)
A Christmas Carol (1999)
A Christmas Carol (1984)
The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)
Rich Little’s Christmas Carol (1978)
A Christmas Carol (1971)
A Christmas Carol (2009)
Scrooge (1970)

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Santa’s Coming!

Let’s take a break from the serious stuff today and listen to a funny Lennonesque Christmas song, which just happens to be by my brother Philip.

“Santa’s Coming” is from the CD he made under the name “Inspector Muffin” — a psychedelic tribute to 60s music (and I play bass and co-wrote one song).

“Santa’s Coming” is not necessarily a song you would play for your kids if they are old enough to get the double entendres.  Lyrics are below.

Santa comes only once a year
So when its time for him to come, everyone stand clear

His sack is full with good things for me and you
and if you’ve been a real good boy, he’ll drop a load or two on you

Everyone beat the Christmas drums
Everyone’s glad when Santa comes

When he comes
Santa’s coming
All over the world for all the boys and girls
Santa’s coming

Don’t be shy; Santa’s quite the handsome chap
You can feel the love he brings by sitting in his lap

So sit right down, there’s a package just for you
but don’t open til Christmas day or Santa’s gonna come too soon

Santa will bless the old and young
If your stocking is well hung

When he comes
Santa’s coming
All over the world for all the boys and girls
Santa’s coming

Before you go down, please make sure the chimney’s clear
If its too tight, you should go ’round back and enter from the rear
For the climax of the year

Christmas day the bells have rung
Santa Claus on every tongue

When he comes
Santa’s coming
All over the world for all the boys and girls
Santa’s coming

Download it here.

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Happy Thanksgiving

“I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.” – Jon Stewart

“Thanksgiving is America’s national chow-down feast, the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty.” – Michael Dresser

“Proper turkey preparation is critical. According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, more Americans die every year from eating improperly cooked turkey than were killed in the entire Peloponnesian War. This is because turkey can contain salmonella, which are tiny bacteria that, if they get in your bloodstream, develop into full-grown salmon, which could come leaping out of your mouth during an important business presentation.” – Dave Berry

“Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.” – Johnny Carson

“Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America’s obesity statistics.” – Stephen Colbert

“Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.” – Erma Bombeck

“My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.” – Phyllis Diller

“My mother won’t celebrate Thanksgiving. She says it represents the white man stealing our land. But she’s not angry, she figures, ‘What the hell, we’re taking it back one casino at a time.” – Larry Omaha

“Thanksgiving. It’s like we didn’t even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is, we overeat. ‘Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?’ ‘But we do that every day!’ ‘Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?'” – Jim Gaiffigan

“Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.” – Kevin James

“Here I am 5 o’clock in the morning stuffing bread crumbs up a dead bird’s butt.” – Roseanne Barr