Christie dumbs himself down in order to win Stupid Party nomination

I may disagree with Chris Christie over politics, but he always seemed like a fairly smart guy.  I’ve even complimented him in the past.

Then he decided he wanted to be President.   

In order to be a Republican President, you have to win the Republican primaries.  chris-christieAnd in order to do that, you have to be a member of the Stupid Party.  Primary voters are always at the extreme end of the political spectrum (Democrats, too) — so in the Republican primaries, that means you need to appeal to the anti-science, anti-immigrant, anti-women’s rights, anti-gay rights Tea Party types.

Christie began by ignoring the fact that a majority of the people who elected him in New Jersey favor gay marriage, by coming out against it and even vetoing the bill to allow it in his state.

Now he’s siding with the anti-science crowd over vaccinations.  Vaccinations!  I still can’t believe this is even an issue.  “Medicine is the work of evil scientists who want to cure everyone!”  WTF is wrong with these people?

Admittedly, the anti-vaccination people also include many stupid liberals who believe in crystals and magic and other nonsense, but Christie is using this issue to side with the anti-government crowd.  He says he vaccinates his kids but he doesn’t like the fact that the government forces him to do so.  You know, the stupid position.

Some politicians like Bobby Jindal are frustrated by this, literally telling his fellow Republicans “We have to stop being the ‘Stupid Party.'”   But then even Jindal is toning up the stupidity in order to appeal to the base, by allowing creationism to be taught in the schools and otherwise appealing to the stupids.

And it really doesn’t help that Christie’s campaign committee is “Leadership Matters For America.Org” — or LMFAO.

Louis Gohmert’s Stupidest Comments

Although Congress’ IQ rose tremendously upon the departure of Michelle Bachmann, Louis Gohmert has been doing his best to push it into the single digits.  What really excites me today, though, is his announcement that he will be challenging Boehner for Speaker because Boehner is just too radical.  Why, he actually even accomplished a few things in the last term!gohmert

Seriously, this is a fight worth watching, as the Republican party implodes and turns even more into the “Stupid Party”.  I can’t wait to see what happens.

But for now, allow me to point out Louis Gohmert‘s Top Ten Stupidest Comments.  (And it wasn’t difficult to come up with ten):

  1. Women are having “terror babies” here in the US, then sending the kids off to be trained as terrorists so in twenty years or so they can come back here legally and kill us all!
  2. Radical Islamists are entering America by posing as Latinos (because, really, who can tell these dark-skinned people apart?).
  3. Gay marriage clearly will lead to the legalization of bestiality and pedophilia.
  4. The Muslim Brotherhood has infiltrated and runs the White House.
  5. Vaccines are evil, not because of worries about autism, but because they will allow for people to live longer against God’s will, and soon the world’s population will be at a staggering 700 million!  (Note:  It’s currently about 900% larger than 700 million.)
  6. The Aurora, Colorado gun massacre was God’s will, punishing us for keeping God out of the classroom.
  7. Gays in the military is a terrible idea because they’ll be so busy giving each other massages that they won’t be able to defend us.
  8. Obama’s immigration policy is the real “War on Women” because it allows immigrants to come over the border and rape our women.
  9. The Keystone pipeline is important because it allows caribou to have a warm place to mate (because for the millions of years prior to a pipeline, they never mated.  Oops!  Sorry.  Gohmert doesn’t believe in science.  Make that 4,000 years.).
  10. “The attorney general will not cast aspersions on my asparagus!” (Yes, he said that on the floor of Congress.)

So go to it, Republicans!  Make Gohmert the symbol of your party.  We won’t mind.

EDIT:  This was written in 2015. He’s said a lot more stupid things since then.

 

Four Reasons why the GOP will lose in 2016

Democrats may lose Congress thanks to apathetic voters, gerrymandering, and acting too much like Republicans, but we’ve pretty much got the White House secure for the foreseeable future.  Here’s why:

1.  The Electoral College.  As much as I want to get rid of it, it certainly works to the Democrats’ favor.  You need 270 electoral votes to win, and Democrats start with 252 that are pretty much guaranteed, in states that haven’t voted Republican since Bill Clinton was elected.

If you add to that group Virginia and New Mexico (states that have been reliably blue the past few elections) then bang, you’re at 270, and that doesn’t even count the possibilities of winning Nevada, Ohio, Florida, and Colorado, all of which have gone Democratic in the past two elections (even North Carolina and Indiana went Democratic in 2008, so don’t necessarily count them out either).

Republicans, meanwhile, start with maybe 167 guaranteed electoral votes.  That’s a huge burden to overcome. emap

Look at that map again. See how the Democrats only need to get Florida to win? If not Florida, then only two states (for example, Virginia and Nevada).  For the Republicans to win, they will need pretty much every single gray state on this map. And even if they took every single gray state, that would only be 280. If as few as one state goes the other way (Florida or Virginia, for instance), they lose.

2.  Numbers.  There are more of us than there are of them.  If we’d vote in equal percentages, we’d always hold Congress, too, but we don’t — except in Presidential years.  More people voted for Democrats in 5 of the last 6 Presidential elections (and in that last one — GWB’s re-election — there are those who question that).  There’s no reason to assume that will change, especially because of…

3. Demographics.  Republicans are predominately older white men.  It’s true.  Young people, women, minorities — all securely Democrats.  And as the country becomes less and less white, and as women become more and more independent, those numbers keep changing to the Democrat’s favor.  Further, fewer people identify themselves as conservative these days.   It’s a trend that has reasonable Republicans rightly worried.

4.  Candidates.  Let’s face it, the Republicans do not have a shining star on the horizon — there is no one with the personality of Ronald Reagan who can charm America into voting for him.  Instead, we get Ted Cruz, Mike Huckabee, Chris Christie, Ben Carson, Mitt Romney (again),  and a bunch of others who, in the last poll, could not get past 10%.

The Republicans know this.  And that is why they so desperately are trying to suppress the vote and get rid of campaign finance laws.  “If you can’t win by getting the most votes, then cheat and buy the election” is their motto.

The latest ridiculous conservative outrage

The latest outrage consists of making fun of Obama for wearing silly clothes at a recent summit in China, as you can see from this meme polluting the right-wing blogosphere.

obama china

I suppose I don’t have to point out that every other foreign leader was wearing the same thing, including Vladimir Putin, do I? And that every President before Obama wore similar garb?

Heh! It’s funny because the implication is that facts matter to these people.

What’s even funnier are the comments about the incident, which once more include two completely contradictory themes:

“We hate China! We should not be beholden to them. America needs to assert itself. The President should not bow down to China.”

and

“Hey, look! Obama looks real unhappy dressing in the traditional clothes they make them all wear at these things! And he was chewing gum when he arrived! How dare he not show proper deference to China!”

At least they are consistent in their beliefs.  No matter what Obama does, they hate it.

A more imperfect union

You don’t have to search hard to find lots of quotes from conservative politicians about how important it is for government to not get involved with the business world.

You also don’t have to search hard to find quotes from these exact same conservative politicians ranting and raving about how government should get involved to tell unions they shouldn’t form.vw

Volkswagen opened a new plant in the south and thanks to lots of lobbying from these same hypocrites, the workers voted not to unionize even though Volkswagen wanted the union.  It may have been because Senator Corker said that if the union was passed, then VW would not open more factories in the south.  In other words, he said the exact opposite of the truth.  Let’s see, what do we call that again?  Oh yes.  A LIE.  (Republicans have that as their motto lately.)

Unions help keep the peace between workers and management and keep employees happier.  Volkswagen knows that happy employees are good and loyal employees.  Volkswagen wanted the union.  They made it perfectly clear.

“Ha ha!” these conservatives yell, not caring once again about facts.  “We showed them!  We support businesses!”

Except they don’t.  This didn’t help businesses at all, and Volkswagen has now announced that any new factories they build will not be in the south.

Yeah, good job shooting yourselves in the foot there, geniuses.

The Mommy and Daddy parties

Republicans are the Daddy party, and Democrats are the Mommy party.

If you read enough about politics, you’ve heard this before.    The Daddy party represents “power” and the Mommy party represents “warmth.”  

Daddy provides for our safety, protecting us against the evil outside our door. elephant-donkey  He teaches us to be independent and strong, and to fight when things don’t go your way.

Mommy worries about our comfort.  She tries to get everyone to get along and solve their problems without fighting.   She makes sure everyone wears their sweaters, does their homework, and doesn’t go hungry.

These are, of course, gross simplifications but somewhat revealing.    Democrats believe we are all part of a family and we need to take care of each other;  Republicans believe that you advance by being independent and self-reliant.

Neither of these viewpoints is wrong.  It’s just how you personally see yourself, society, and government.  And if the parties adhere to these roles, we can have reasonable debate.

The problem lately is Daddy.  Daddy is no longer the reliable, strong independent leader — he now lies and deceives to get his way.  Instead of reasonably debating where we should go, he beats up the family until he gets his way (“Do what I say or I’ll shut down the government!”). And then when he doesn’t get his way, he has a temper tantrum.  (“Fine! Then I will block every bill in Congress even if it benefits us all.”) He’s willing to hurt the family for his own selfish goals.

Having a Mommy party and a Daddy party is not a bad thing.  But as columnist Josh Barrow points out, we now have a Mommy party and an “Abusive-Ex-husband-With-a-Substance-Abuse-Problem party.”

GOP as carnies

Carnies have the attitude that if you’re gullible and stupid enough to fall for their rigged games, then you deserve everything you get.  They’re very proud of their deceptive actions, because they’re so much smarter than the rubes who fall for them.

The Republican party feels the same way about you.

This is nothing new.  Dick Nixon had a “Dirty Tricks” committee specifically designed to do these things. fakepelosisite And now the current party has taken a book from Tricky Dickie and has created a series of false and misleading campaign websites for Democratic candidates.

The National Republican Congressional Campaign Committee bought up hundreds of URLs on Democratic candidates and created sites that mimic the real ones.  They have the candidate’s picture really big, and then a big “donate” button, and then in small print, it says “Help us defeat the candidate.”

These are so misleading that Google has started putting their warning pages up before you can see them, telling you that it is a potential phishing site.

This fits in with the theme of the the blog this week, which is that the GOP has a specific policy of lying and being misleading.  What’s more, like carnies, they’re proud of it.  Daniel Scarpinato, the NRCC’s press secretary, brags about the fake website program and plans on expanding it.

In response, the National Democratic Committee states that it has no plans to ever create deceptive web sites of this sort.

Lying as policy

All politicians lie.  But currently, only the Republican party proudly promotes lies and deceptions as its policy.

A few days ago, I wrote about the “2.5 million unemployed by Obamacare” lie they are peddling.

I now see that that they are claiming that “Obama caused the government shutdown.”

Here’s how it really went down:

“Hey, President Obama!  It’s us, the Republicans!  Remember how we voted against Obamacare but it still passed?  And how we challenged it in court and lost?  And how we nominated a candidate who ran on a platform of repealing it and he lost?  And how we voted 42 times to repeal it, losing each time?  And how we have tried to defund it and lost?  

Well, we now demand that despite all this, you defund it and thus kill it, or else we will shut down the government.  No?  Okay, you asked for it!

Look, everyone!  We, the Republicans, have shut down the government until Obama gives us what we want!  We’re proud of this accomplishment!

Okay, Obama, now will you defund it?  No?  Well, will you cut the budget in a few places?  No?  Will you  at least cut this one thing?  No?

Wait a minute … the American people hate this.  Our poll numbers are lower than they have been in the history of poll numbers.  

Okay, fine, you can reopen the government.

Wow, the public really hates us.  Guess we have to use our old standby policy to get out of this one.  Everyone, ready?  Good. Start lying.

Obama caused the shutdown!!!”

Fortunately, rational and reasonable people are laughing at this.  Here’s a nice video of journalist Bob Schieffer giggling uncontrollably when Ted Cruz claimed that Obama caused the shutdown:

… And here is an article from last December where Ted Cruz brags about causing the shutdown.

This is just outright lying, isn’t it?  I mean, is there another explanation?

Despite what some defenders claim, this is not the same thing as picking and choosing which facts to highlight when pushing your agenda.  It’s not the same thing as “spinning.”  It’s not even the same thing as not pursuing your campaign promises.  This is lying as policy.  To defend this is despicable.  (And I applaud those Republicans who are refusing to follow the party line here.)

Tomorrow, I’ll discuss the current GOP strategy of creating fake fraudulent websites designed to purposely mislead people into thinking they are donating to Democratic candidates.   I am not making this up.

How to Speak Republican

Lesson 27.

When an official report says something other than what you want it to say, make sure to twist it into something more favorable to you and bad for your opponent.

Example:  The Congressional Budget Office said that because of Obamacare, people who stayed in jobs solely for the insurance were now free to pursue other things.  They could now get rid of that second job, stay at home with the kids, or even start their own business.  Approximately 2.5 million people would be taking advantage of this, which will mean that 2.5 million jobs will soon be available for the unemployed to get.  The unemployment rate will fall, and perhaps even more small businesses will be formed.

Question:  How do you translate this news into Republican?

Analysis:  This is a difficult one, because clearly these are Republican goals.  Reducing unemployment, encouraging parents to stay at home, and helping small businesses form are all traditional Republican ideals.  However, to acknowledge this would be to not only admit that Obamacare might have some good points, but also allow the Democrats to claim that.  Clearly, any admission of any gains at all would be improper.

Solution:  Lie.  The best way to get around a truth you dislike is to lie.   Try one of these whoppers:pinocchio

“Obamacare is a disincentive to work!”  This one isn’t bad.  It implies that staying in a terrible job you hate just for the insurance is preferable to taking your life into your own hands and doing what you want.  But it’s still slightly true, albeit misleading.  you can do better.

“Obamacare will destroy 2.5 million jobs!”  There’s the winner.  A complete lie, absolutely not what the CBO said, and sure to be bought by a clueless media who doesn’t want to have to actually do the reading to realize that it’s complete bullshit.  Even if it was true, it’s offset by the fact that Obamacare has added 8.1 million new jobs.  But of course, you will never mention that.

Summary:  As we have seen from every other lesson, the answer is always to lie.  You can never go wrong that way if you want to learn how to speak Republican fluently.

The best voter suppression

Republicans are doing everything they can to suppress the vote, because every study shows that if everyone voted, Republicans would pretty much lose. Vote (Not every district, of course, but they would certainly lose their House majority, as well as many statehouses.)  

But there is one idea that they haven’t grasped yet which would accomplish the same goal.

What they need are for people to become apathetic about politics — especially young people, who are overwhelmingly less religious, more liberal, and less prejudiced than their elders.  What the Republicans need is a way to keep these people in a state where all they want to do is watch TV and eat doritos.

You see where I’m going with this, right?  Come on, Republicans!  Legalize marijuana and then those kids won’t even be motivated to get out and vote!  Bam!  Instant suppression without breaking any laws!

(OK, Republicans, stop reading now.  The rest is for my Democratic friends.

Shh!  Don’t let on.  Most republicans are so clueless about both marijuana and what young people want and think that they just might fall for this!)